*heavy sigh*

[sam_gamgee]

Today was just one of those days. It started out good enough - but then again, they always do. Then the show that we had tonight just went downhill in some aspects, although it was pretty dang good in others. And, like, 99% of the stuff that I know went wrong wasn't my fault. And it doesn't help when Mindy, the stage manager, gets *that* tone in her voice when she wants to know what happened, since it makes me all the more stressed and stuff. I'm sure I'm being harder on myself than everyone else, but it doesn't help when it seems like most of the time I get the whole "what went wrong?" instead of "x, y, and z were really good, but what happened with aa?" I'm supposed to go in tomorrow morning and have a meeting with Rich (the sound designer/production manager and one of my bosses no matter how I look at it) to go over this stuff. I hope it goes well. I'm just so stressed out and numb at this point that I don't know how to feel or what to do to relieve some of this.

And it doesn't help that my butt/the backs of my upper thighs hurt, I have a headache, and the energy has been drained from my body. (The last time I felt even close to this was when I was sick - really, really sick.) Hopefully I'll feel better after some sleep.

On an upside - whoever thought of indoor plumbing and shower fixtures should get a medal or something. Getting a shower every night when I come home is one of the few things that has helped keep me sane. Also for God - I know that I wouldn't be able to survive - insane or not - if I wasn't able to pray and spend time in His Word. And a third thing - one of my friends has a post-it note on her door that says, "Evil does not wear a bonnet!" (not sure what the context is), but every time I walk by, I think of Mal from "Our Mrs. Reynolds" (I think) and it gives me a little smile.

Well, off to bed to see if my subconscious can get me at least partially sorted before I have to go in tomorrow. And I hope I made some sense to someone and if I didn't, I'm sorry. Please pray for me to survive the next few days at least. And I *so* can't wait to go home over 4th of July weekend (well, the 5th to the 7th).

And my mom got married today.

Comments

hang in there

[spikesleman.livejournal.com]

Theatre is hard. Many of the people in the theatre are wonderful...and some of 'em are, um, er..not so much. You are, I'm sure, being way harder on yourself than anyone else is really being on you. (Did that make sense?) You'll do fine, I have zero doubt at all.

Your last line gives me pause. It sounds a bit as if you are not 100% easy with this. *That* kind of stress can make everything else 900 times worse. And again, my sole advice is to hang in there.

Take care. Eat right. Get enough rest. (Yeah, right...good advice from Insomnia Central, huh?) Take nice hot showers. Pray. And have faith -- in God and in yourself. Ooooh, I'm just fulla advice tonight, aren't I?

And thus endeth the lesson.

((hugs))

mary ann

Re: hang in there

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

Thanks. And, yeah, I know what you mean.

Which last line? The one about my mom or the one about me going home? The comment about my mom was just a "oh, yeah, by the way..." type of thing and same with the going home. (Although, it does have a bit of "I think it'll be good for me if I can get away from the theatre for a while and destress so I can be more focused" in there.)

Well, it's gonna have to be cold showers because of how hot it is here (and no a/c - grr), but they have about the same effect. And don't worry - I'm eating breakfast (some cereal and some juice) right now - even though I don't really want to. (I think I'm too hot to really want anythig.)

Thanks.

((hug))

[libralyte.livejournal.com]

wait. your mother got fucking MARRIED and you weren'tk there!? what the hell? details? (you can send me an e-mail if you want. i'd tell you to e-mail susannah too, but we don't have her e-mail. she'd get a kick out of it.) sorry things aren't going well and i wish i was there to cheer you up ;P in my absence, i suggest you listen to the song and lip sync. that will make you laugh.

[(Anonymous)]

*gags on some beer....WTF, you're Mom got MARRIED and you weren't there!!?? How messed up is that? A, please send me an email and let me know how you're holding up (ok, and like Evil Twin, details might be nice).

Re:

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

I'm holding up fine in regards to my mum. It's the freakin' hot weather that's got me down (and the show - but more on that when I update later). And, well, with my mum one can never be sure. She wanted me to come home for it, but when we had the conversation a couple of weeks ago, it basically went like this:

"John and I got the marriage liscence today and we're having it on Wednesday, June 25th, since they're not open on Fridays. Do you think you'll be able to come home?"

"I would like to, Mom, but I have rehearsal for Glass Menagerie that night and it opens on Saturday, so I don't think it'll be a wise idea, even if they do let me off."

Turning on the whiny, guilt voice, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mom. It's not that I don't want to come, just that it wouldn't be the best idea."

"Well, we're thinking of having a reception on the 28th (Saturday), do you think you'll be able to come to that?"

"Mom, the show opens on Saturday."

"Oh."

And it wasn't like she had double-checked with me. She knew I was going to be away and stuff and if she had wanted me to be there, she should've tried to coordinate it or waited until I got back.

I wish you were both here. But I know I'll see you when I come home, Bethy. And Regina - you should try to come up some time in late July or something. If not then, we have to get together when I get home. And just thinking about you lip-synching the song makes me laugh. :0P And I do have Susannah's email - do you want me to give it to you?

[nakedwesley.livejournal.com]

Try to hang in there and remember you're there to learn. You're not a paid professional, and even if you were, you're allowed to make mistakes. You are human, right? *poke poke* I'm sure the heat is just making everything seem ten times worse.

The thing with your mom is weird, but not entirely unexpected from what you've said in the past. Hope you're really okay with it, and if you wanna talk....

Question: If I send you something FedEx is there someone on the other end to sign for it, or should I just use regular mail? Does your mail sit out in the heat all day? (Yes, I'm still worried about the whole melting thing) Ooooh, just reread your post. You'll be home for July 4th? Is there someone at your house that could sign for FedEx during the day????

Thinking of you. Will beta your story tomorrow. Wishing you lots of Wesley dreams. (((hugs)))

Re:

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

Yeah, as far as I know I'm human - unless it's one of those big family secrets that everyone knows but me. :0P (Or maybe I'm like Doyle - it's not gonna manifest itself until I'm in my mid-20s or whatever.)

I agree that things with my mom are weird. But at least it does provide for some amusement when I tell one of my friends about the stuff she does. And I think that I really am okay with things, but thanks. :0)

Um, try sending it for Saturday, since I know that I'll be around then. But if it gets there earlier, someone might be. Depends on what time of day it gets there, I think. And I'm really curious at to what it is now, since it has melting potential.

Thanks. :0) Didn't have any Wesley dreams last night, but had a Giles/Ethan (sorta) dream night before last. :0)

[lixta.livejournal.com]

Hey chica...its not good for you to not be happy. Just wanted to say, hang in there. I need a good quote for you. Hm. um... "Fire bad, tree pretty." yeah, that's the best I can do right now.

Re:

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yeah, that's about what my brain was at the past couple of days, but I'm doing better now. And how sad is it that I knew what episode that's from right away? :0P

Thanks, babe.