Eureka Big Bang partial 2/2

[sam_gamgee]

Jack sputtered before shutting his mouth and glaring at Nathan. He *had* been thinking about it – ever since Nathan had mentioned it three days ago. And he wasn’t sure what he thought about it. Superficially, he liked the idea. Nathan Stark – in either reality – was a good looking man and if Jack wanted to be honest with himself, he was physically attracted to him. And a small part of him did like the fact that Nathan was taller than him. The whole IQ/genius aspect did intimidate him, but he appreciated that Stark had never treated him as if he was stupid. And the humor and quick wit were definite attractions.

But he didn’t know what they’d have in common that would make them work as good friends, let alone boyfriends and lovers.

“I still don’t get it,” Jack finally said. “I can see how I’d at least be attracted to you superficially, but I can’t see us working as friends or anything more than that. Something must’ve happened.” His eyes narrowed and he glared at Nathan, who was innocently sipping his milkshake. “Something *did* happen, didn’t it? Did we get superglued together? Were we trapped in a room together for a few hours or a day or something?”

“We had a telepathic link for a few days,” Nathan replied. “One of the linguists was working on a neural link between a person and a computer and thought you would be a good test subject – as a way to help with calling for back-up and such. The problem came in when he used Fargo’s tech from his ‘Mental Mouse’ and it was still programmed to the same frequency – which still had my brain imprinted in its program and it linked us.”

“I’ll bet that was a pain in the ass,” Jack replied sympathetically.

“It was at first,” Nathan said. “But we couldn’t keep up the attitudes 24/7 and once we got past that, it definitely helped forge a common ground and opened the door for the rest of it.”

“How long did it take for them to wipe the frequency or reset it or whatever they had to do?” Jack asked.

Nathan laughed. “My you had the same idea to fix it. It took about a week to agree to do it and then a couple days to do it and reset the other projects that were using that frequency. But every once in a while, there’s still a bit of an echo.”

“Echo?” Jack asked in confusion.

“We can still momentarily hear each other’s thoughts every now and again. And it certainly makes things interesting when we’re around other people.” Nathan paused. “So are we good?”

Jack shrugged before honestly answering, “I guess so. It’s weird to think of what another me is doing, but we’re good.”

“Good,” Nathan replied with a smile.

Jack took another sip of his milkshake. “What are you going to do if you can’t go home?”

Nathan shrugged. “Don’t know yet. I’m hoping Allison will let me stay here and resume my life as much as possible where your me left off. Obviously, there will be some differences, but… I hope we’ll be able to work something out. I don’t think I’m cut out for anything else and I can’t see Allison dumping me on another reality.”

“I don’t think she would either,” Jack replied with a shake of his head. “How’s she taking all of this with you?”

Nathan grimaced. “Not too good, from what I can tell. I’ve told her that I’m not available and not interested, but I don’t think it’s completely worked. I get that she sees me and sees the man she loves and that my presence continually brings up the fact that I’ve died in this reality, but I think she’s having a tough time continuing to believe that with me around and I think she’s working up the courage to ask me to reconsider my availability and interest if I can’t go home.”

“What are you going to tell her?” Jack asked as he shifted in his seat and placed his crossed arms on the table in front of him.

“That I’m still not available and still not interested,” Nathan said. “I don’t want to mention the gay part yet, since she didn’t take it too well when I told my version of her, but I’m not going to lie to her.”

“Your Allison was attracted to you too?” Jack interrupted in disbelief. “I thought you said she was gay.”

“Well, she’s bi,” Nathan replied sheepishly.

“Is every version of us meant to have its own variation of our love triangle?” Jack asked.

“It’s possible. And there’s probably also a reality where the three of us are happily living together somewhere with Kevin, Zoe, and a kid of our own,” Nathan replied with a shrug. “Or none of us are attracted to each other. There are infinite possibilities.” Changing tack back to an earlier point of the conversation, he added, “I did offer to let her say her goodbye to me in lieu of her Nathan, but she declined. I think it freaked her out too much.”

Jack nodded in understanding. “They loved each other a lot, even if being with Stark wasn’t the easiest thing for Allison.”

Nathan laughed. “I like that – calling your version ‘Stark’.”

Jack shrugged. “Well, that’s how I always thought of him here, so it makes it easier in my head.” He motioned to his head.

“And what do you call me in your head?” Nathan asked with a small smile.

“Oh, no no no. There’s no way you’re charming me,” Jack quickly said.

“I’m not charming, I’m just curious,” Nathan replied.

Jack let out a huff. “You’re Nathan.”

“Ooh,” Nathan said as he leaned mirrored Jack’s pose against the table. “I like that – very personal.”

Jack narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to set me up to be your boyfriend here as a back-up plan?”

“What?” Nathan asked in disbelief. “No! I am going to return home and resume my life with *my* Jack and plan on chalking this up as another weird Eureka thing.”

“‘Thing’?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow. “Is that a technical scientific term?”

“Very technical,” Nathan replied with a serious nod before grinning and laughing. “But I mean it – I have no intentions whatsoever of making any sort of move on you. And if I do, please forgive me and know that it’s not intentional. Your virtue is safe with me.” Nathan’s cell phone went off and he answered it. “Hello? I’m at Café Diem with Jack Carter. I’ll be right there.” Ending the call, he said, “That was my fairy godmother making sure I didn’t turn into a pumpkin. I have to go. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Okay.” Jack nodded as Nathan stood. “Thanks for the milkshake and the apology.”

“You’re welcome. Maybe we can do this again? Or maybe catch a game or something?”

“I thought you didn’t like baseball,” Jack replied in confusion.

Nathan smiled. “You’ve had a considerable amount of influence on me,” he said with a smirk. “Good night, Jack.”

“Night, Nathan.”

Jack watched him go, fiddling with his straw and unsure of how to proceed. After tonight, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go back to thinking of Nathan as just another version of Stark. He could see how he could fall in love with this version of the man and how Allison could marry him a second time even with all the baggage that they had from the first time around.

He sighed and headed home.

******

Nathan sighed as he got ready for bed. He wished that his mental connection to Jack would work now. He knew that it was impossible with being in another reality, not that it worked when they actually wanted it to anyway, but he desperately wanted some sort of reassurance that Jack was okay and that he had survived the blast that had sent Nathan here.

He missed him so much it physically hurt. Pausing before he got into bed, he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold the pain inside, but first a gasp and then a sob escaped. He pinched his nose in an effort to make himself take deep, slow breaths, but it didn’t work and the tears and hitched sobs continued to escape.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths and wiped his eyes as the grief slowly seceded. He needed to pull himself together or he wouldn’t be of any use to himself or Dr. Lee in the morning to work on the alternate reality drive and get himself home.

He settled into bed, switched off the bedside lamp, and pulled the other pillow close to himself. He should’ve known it was a bad idea to meet this reality’s Jack at Café Diem. It was hard enough knowing that this Jack was available and more than likely open to the idea of being with another man, he shouldn’t taunt himself with trying to charm him on the off-chance that he was stuck here.

He needed to think positively. He *was* going to get home soon and his Jack *was* okay and they *were* going to resume their life as if this was just a weird hiccup.

Letting out another sob, he buried his face in the pillow and fell into a fitful sleep.

“Are you all right?” Dr. Williams asked the next morning, glancing at Nathan in worry as he yawned again.

“Yeah, fine,” Nathan replied. “Just didn’t sleep well last night. I think we need to have a function on here that allows us to set parameters to help narrow the field of realities to search through.”

“That’s what we’ve been working on for the past two hours. Are you *sure* you’re all right?”

“Yeah. Like I said – I didn’t sleep well last night. Plus, I’m missing home. Let’s focus on this and not my other problems.”

The door opened to the lab and Fargo came in. “Um… Dr. Stark?”

“Yes, Fargo?” Nathan asked with a sigh as he turned around.

Fargo hesitated for a moment before blurting out, “Dr. Blake wants to see you in her office.”

Nathan gave him a reassuring smile. “Thank you, Fargo.” Sighing, he said, “I’ll be back.”

“And get some coffee while you’re out,” Dr. Williams chided. “It’ll make things go a lot faster if there are two of us working on this and not just me.”

Nathan nodded as he followed Fargo to Allison’s office. “You wanted to see me?” he asked as he entered.

“Yes,” Allison replied as she set her pen down and gestured to the chairs on the other side of her desk and Nathan sat down. “I was thinking that we should get the ball rolling in case if you can’t go home – give you a better cover story for staying here, things like that. I’m sure you’ll want to move into your counterpart’s apartment? We haven’t done much with it.”

Nathan shrugged. “As far as cover stories go – I don’t see why we couldn’t continue with the one that’s already in place. You know how scientists work. I’m supposedly here to finish up the things that Nathan was working on that can’t be transferred to someone else – which is practically all of it. I don’t see why it couldn’t just ‘slip through the cracks’ so to speak and I stay on after they’re done. I’m sure that by then even Thorne will have gotten used to me being around and won’t care much.” He winced slightly. “Actually, I’d like to move into my own place, if that’s okay. Taking over your Nathan’s work is one thing, but living in his house is another. But I wouldn’t mind access to the wardrobe, if that’s okay.” Nathan didn’t want to let the wardrobe go if at all possible. He wasn’t vain – or at least not as much as other people took him for – but the fit of the suits would be hard to replicate.

“That’s fine,” Allison said as she folded her hands in her lap. “How close are you to getting done?”

“I think we’ll be done by the end of tomorrow, if everything goes according to plan. Then we just need to find the right reality.”

“Good,” Allison replied. “I know how anxious you are to get home, but I want you to take off this weekend. Don’t argue – I don’t want you messing up because you’ve overworked yourself. This is going to be tricky enough as it is.”

Nathan nodded. “I should go then, unless you have something else.”

******

Friday night, Nathan was surprised when SARAH said, “Sheriff, Dr. Stark is at the door.”

Confused, Jack got up from where he had just settled on the couch to watch the baseball game and said, “Let him in.” He went to the door as it swung open and an obviously drunk Nathan Stark stumbled in. Jack caught and steadied him and said, “Nathan, what are you doing?”

“Drowning my problems – what does it look like I’m doing?” Nathan slurred as he allowed himself to be propelled to the couch before Jack retrieved him a glass of water.

He took the glass as Jack sat down and said, “I’m stuck here. There’s a very good probability that I won’t be able to go home because either the alternate jump drive won’t work or because my reality ended. I don’t know what happened to my Jack,” he giggled slightly at that before becoming very serious and continuing, “and he’s probably dead. If there was a blast that was bad enough to propel me into another reality, who knows what it did to him? Do you think he’s in another reality? How will I find him?”

“I don’t know,” Jack replied, at a loss for how to comfort Nathan. “You would be the expert at this sort of thing, not me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Nathan replied morosely. “I may know a lot, but I’m a mathematician, not a physicist. I honestly don’t know if this will work.”

“Well, do the numbers work?” Jack asked.

Nathan nodded vigorously. “Yep. We checked them thoroughly and everything works.”

“Then I’m sure that this will work. I trust you know what you’re doing.”

Nathan laughed and patted Jack’s cheek. “That sounds like something you would say, Monkey. You always know how to make me feel better.” Before Jack could react, Nathan leaned in and nuzzled Jack’s neck and settled with his head in the crook of Jack’s neck and shoulder and his body pressed against the side of Jack’s body.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked as he took the cup from Nathan before it slipped out of his hands and set it on the coffee table.

“Snuggling,” Nathan replied matter-of-factly. “We always do this when we watch the game.”

“You can stay here and watch the game, but we’re not snuggling,” he told Nathan. “I don’t think your Jack would be very happy if he found out.”

Nathan pulled away so he could look at Jack and pouted. “But you *are* my Jack. Mostly. I think he’d understand, since it’s an alternate reality and I’m still with him. Sort of.”

Jack sighed. He knew that this was all kinds of wrong and all sorts of warning bells were going off, but it was safer to have a drunk, pouting Nathan here than a drunk, pissed off Nathan wandering around Eureka. “I mean it,” he said firmly. “I’ll sit here on the couch with you and we’ll watch the game together, but we’re not snuggling. That’s my offer – take it or leave it.”

Nathan pouted for another second before thinking about it. Jack figured Nathan *really* had to be drunk if he could see the wheels turning in his head. “Okay,” Nathan finally replied with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest and settled back against the couch.

They watched the baseball game in near silence, punctuated only by Jack cheering or yelling at the TV. By the end of the game, Nathan had sobered up considerably. And he was curled up on the couch, with his head in Jack’s lap and Jack absently stroking his hair.

“Where’s Zoe?” Nathan asked as he sat up once a commercial came on.

“She went away for the weekend with Pilar and her family,” Jack replied as he stood up and stretched. “They left right after the girls got out of school. I can make up the couch for you so you can stay here. Or, if you feel okay, I can take you home. How *did* you get here anyway?” he asked.

“I walked,” Nathan replied.

“You *walked*?” Jack replied. “You could’ve been killed!”

“I was careful!” Nathan replied indignantly. “Can I stay here?”

“Sure,” Jack said, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Nathan tonight. “Let me get you some pillows and a blanket.”

Nathan looked like he was about to say something, but tightened his jaw and nodded.

Jack just shook his head as he headed upstairs. To his surprise, he had enjoyed the contact with Nathan. It wasn’t something he had thought either of them would be into, but he had liked the feel of Nathan’s head against his thigh and the soft feel of his hair under Jack’s hand.

He quickly quashed that line of thought before it got out of hand.

******

Nathan stretched contentedly before opening his eyes. For the first time since he’d arrived in this reality, he’d slept well that night. Whatever he’d done, he needed to do it again.

He suddenly felt that something was different and carefully looked around, to realize that he wasn’t in bed at the bed and breakfast, but on Jack’s couch. Also, he smelled coffee. And Jack was coming down the stairs in a pair of old sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt and looking too damn good.

“Morning,” Jack said sleepily as he made his way into the kitchen. “SARAH – coffee.”

“It’s already in the coffee pot, Sheriff.”

“Thanks, SARAH,” Jack replied as he took out two mugs. “Would you like some coffee?” he asked Nathan.

“Sounds good – and black,” Nathan replied as he got up and began folding up the blanket. Accepting the mug from Jack, he asked, “What’s on your agenda today?”

Jack shrugged. “I have the weekend off and hadn’t really planned anything. Why?”

Nathan shrugged as he joined Jack at the kitchen island. “I thought we could maybe do something.”

“Like what?” Jack asked as he started pulling out things to make breakfast.

Nathan thought for a moment and realized he wasn’t sure. “I don’t know. Usually we hardly get out of bed on the weekends.”

Jack laughed. “That would figure. And, I’m sorry, but that’s not a viable option right now.”

“Right now?” Nathan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what I mean,” Jack replied with a glare. “Scrambled eggs okay?”

“Great,” Nathan replied. As Jack made breakfast, he racked his brain for something they could do together. He knew what his Jack liked – and chances are this Jack wasn’t much different, but he wasn’t completely sure. “We could go play frisbee,” he said tentatively. “We play it fairly regularly at home.”

“Okay, sure,” Jack replied with a grin. “That sounds like a great idea.”

Nathan smiled sadly as he watched Jack pour the batter for the first batch of pancakes. This felt so domestic and *normal*, that he tried not to think about the fact that he wasn’t in his own reality.

After they ate and Jack got dressed, they headed over to the bed and breakfast so Nathan could shower and change as well. From there, they headed to the park and joined the other people out enjoying the weather. Nathan enjoyed being outside – which was obviously Jack’s influence since they’d gotten together. And being outside after being cooped up in a GD lab for a week felt wonderful.

Once they’d picked a spot, he lazily tossed the Frisbee to Jack, who easily caught it, as they headed in opposite directions before turning to face each other. They threw the Frisbee back and forth a few times before Zane, who looked like he was finishing up a run, joined them. Nathan smiled – now all they needed was Lucas, but he doubted this version of him would join them. The game picked up as the Frisbee zigged and zagged between the three men. By the time they called it quits, they were all sweaty and worn out.

“Good game,” Nathan said.

“Thanks for letting me join in,” Zane said as he wiped his face with his discarded shirt.

“No problem,” Jack replied. Glancing at Nathan and then back to Zane, he added, “I think we’re going to go get lunch. Feel like joining us?”

“Can’t,” Zane said with a shake of his head. “I’m meeting Jo for lunch and I need to get cleaned up first.”

“Okay. See you later.”

Zane waved before jogging off and Nathan and Jack headed back to Jack’s car.

“Thank you,” Jack said after they’d gotten in the car.

“For what?” Nathan asked as he fastened his seatbelt.

“For this. I haven’t done something like this in a long time.” Jack smiled wistfully. “Probably too long.”

Nathan laughed as Jack started the car. “And you were always the one who dragged me out of the office to have some fun.”

“If you’re anything like Stark, I wouldn’t be surprised. There were times when I thought he lived at GD.”

Nathan shrugged. “Sometimes I did, depending on the project. And I’m sure he and I were working on similar projects – if not the same ones, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did too from time to time.”

“Do you want to go to Café Diem?” Jack asked. “Or we could go back to my place and make sandwiches. Or I could just drop you off. You’ve probably got things to do today.”

Nathan shrugged. “Not really. Let’s go back to the bed and breakfast so I can change and then let’s go back to your place and go from there.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Jack replied and they headed out.

******

Jack wandered around Nathan’s room as he waited for the other man to finish in the shower and wondered why he hadn’t moved into Stark’s apartment. If Nathan wasn’t being closely monitored by now, Allison must’ve given him that option. He sat down on the bed and stared at the bathroom door for a moment before getting up and looking through the stack of books on the dresser.

“I didn’t realize you were into quantum physics,” Nathan said and Jack jumped.

“Jesus!” Jack replied as he turned to look at Nathan, who was standing in the bathroom doorway and smirking. “Just curious what all the cool kids are reading these days.”

Nathan laughed as he sat down on the bed to put his shoes on. “I don’t know about that.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t moved into Stark’s place,” Jack commented.

Nathan shrugged as he stood. “Allison gave me the option, but it felt too weird. There’s an interesting duality to it. It’s my place, but it’s not. I keep remembering all these things with my Jack, yet there are reminders of Stark and your Allison…. I think it’s better this way.”

Jack nodded in understanding.

Once they were back at his place, he excused himself to also grab a quick shower. He also wanted to put a little bit of space between himself and Nathan. As unintentional as he knew it was, Nathan’s presence was a constant reminder of things Jack hadn’t thought about in a very long time. He was lonely and wanted romantic companionship in his life. And he missed being with a man – not that he’d had much experience before meeting Abby, but what he had had, he’d enjoyed. And, he was surprised to realize, the snippets that had slipped out of Nathan’s life with his Jack had made him want to try having a serious relationship with a man. And, quite possibly, not just any man, but this alternate version of Nathan Stark.

Jack let his head thump against the shower wall. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need something that was supposed to be a college phase to come roaring to life again. He was too young to even consider having a midlife crisis. Plus, he had Zoe to think about. What would this do to her?

Jack forced himself to quickly finish his shower, dress, and join Nathan in the kitchen – where the other man was fixing lunch.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Nathan said. “But my stomach was starting to growl and SARAH was kind enough to help me locate things.”

“Not a problem,” Jack replied with a slightly forced smile. “We wouldn’t want you to pass out from low blood sugar or anything like that.”

“You okay?” Nathan asked, searching Jack’s face for something.

“Yeah, fine. Why?” Jack responded as he took a potato chip out of the bag and ate it.

“You just seem a bit out of it.”

Jack just shrugged. “Maybe I’m hungrier than I feel like and my brain’s not listening to my body.”

Nathan relaxed as he pushed a plate towards Jack. “I highly doubt that. But you’d better start eating, just in case.”

Jack picked up a sandwich half and started eating as he watched Nathan put the sandwich makings away. After a few bites, he said, “I’d ask how you know this is my idea of a perfect sandwich, but now that just seems like a moot point.”

“Very true,” Nathan chuckled as he joined Jack at the bar and ate a chip. “This whole experience has been weird for everyone – not just you, Allison, and myself. I’ve had a number of GD employees start to ask me questions as if I was their Nathan Stark, before realizing I’m not who they want me to be and apologizing profusely. One of these days, I want someone to finish first, so I can see how well I’ll be able to muddle through the answer.”

“And then Allison will hear about it and skin you alive before throwing you out of GD and never letting you with in fifty yards,” Jack replied in amusement.

“That’s probably true. But it’s worth a shot.” He sobered. “Really, though? Right now, I’d just like for things to feel normal. Or even *something*. And not this jarring echo I have in my head of knowing things are the same, but not.”

“I’d offer to help,” Jack started, “but I doubt I could be the kind of help you need right now.”

“Actually, you’re doing a pretty good job, all things considered. And I’m not expecting you to help me that way. Just allowing me to be around you and be your friend is enough for now. Though, if I end up being stuck here…”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.” Taking a leap, he impetuously asked, “So, what’s your version of a normal Saturday?”

“A lot like what we’re doing right now,” Nathan replied with a smile. “If you’re not working and there aren’t any plans, we just see how things go.”

“Which ends up with a lot of the time spent in bed,” Jack said, wanting to be the one to say it.

“Sometimes,” Nathan replied with an amused look. “Not as much as you might think.”

“So, what are the living arrangements?”

“You and Zoe still live here and I still have my own apartment.” Nathan’s expression turned sad. “Though, we had started talking about my moving in here with the two of you and I –” Nathan stopped and looked away for a long moment to pull himself together. “I was going to agree after we finished with the clock,” he finally said softly.

“Want to talk about what happened in your version?” Jack asked.

“It’s still happening,” Nathan replied, looking back at Jack. “I’m still stuck in it.”

“So you were the one who kept repeating the day?” Jack asked in surprise.

Nathan nodded. “I had gone down to talk to Weinbrenner about the clock when he started the experiment, not realizing I was there.”

“Then what was I doing there when you and Fargo were trying to fix it?”

“I think you thought you could save me if something went wrong,” Nathan replied with a wan smile. “And I couldn’t shake you, as much as I tried.”

Clearing their plates to the dishwasher, Jack said, “Okay, let’s get off this depressing thought and do something else.”

Nathan nodded gratefully. “I wanted to work on the equations some more.”

“No, you’re not.” At Nathan’s surprised look, Jack said, “I may not have the same authority as your Jack does, but you’re not working on that thing until Monday morning. You’ve been burning yourself out with it this past week and I don’t want your Jack coming over here and kicking my ass for not taking good care of you. You’ll have a clearer head on Monday if you take today and tomorrow off. And I doubt Dr. Williams will be working on it right now.” They both looked at each other and laughed. “Okay, maybe he is, but at least one of you has to be fresh Monday morning and I have at least some say in what you’re doing right now.”

“All right, o great and wise one,” Nathan said, his amusement back. “What are we going to do now?”

Jack shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know.” Fishing, he said, “We still haven’t read the paper yet.”

“Okay,” Nathan replied. “Let’s read the paper, then.”

Jack laughed. “Seriously? You want to read the paper in the middle of a Saturday afternoon?”

“Why not?”

“Okay,” Jack replied, still surprised, and grabbed the paper and headed over to the couch. “What part do you want first?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Nathan replied as he sat down next to Jack. “I still can’t believe SARAH can call up all sorts of papers, magazines, and news channels for you and you still like reading the paper.”

“I just like it this way,” Jack said as he handed him the front page section and took the sports section for himself. “Though, SARAH’s database has come in handy with sports information.”

Nathan chuckled as he opened the paper. “I’m sure it has. I’d be more worried if I met a Jack Carter who *didn’t* like sports.”

They settled into a comfortable silence while they read and traded sections when they were done. Afterwards, they watched a baseball playoff game, during which they ordered a pizza for dinner.

It was all very quiet and normal and Jack liked it. He didn’t know what this thing was that he and Nathan had, but he was enjoying it. And, instinctively, Nathan cuddled against him again during the game. This time, though, Jack was prepared and actually enjoyed the whole thing, instead of alternating between being confused and dazed before slowly relaxing.

When the game and post-game report were over, both men were slow in moving. “What do you want to do now?” Jack asked.

Nathan shrugged, then yawned. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should go to bed.”

“Yeah, I probably should.” He sat up. “Can I stay here?”

“Sure,” Jack replied easily, though he wasn’t sure why.

Nathan hesitated slightly, which caught Jack’s attention. “Can I sleep with you?” He rushed on, quickly adding, “I promise I won’t try anything. I just want to hold you for the night.”

Jack thought about it for a moment. It *would* be nice to share his bed with someone – even if it was platonic. Plus, a small part niggled, Nathan was probably so thrown by everything that this would give him some measure of comfort.

******

Nathan was surprised and grateful that Jack had agreed to do it. While he had hoped Jack would say yes, he hadn’t actually expected him to say yes. And he knew that in the long run, this would probably only make things worse – especially if he was stuck here, but right now he needed to hold Jack in his arms and know that they were safe. And this Jack Carter was an acceptable substitute for his own for the night.

They went upstairs and separately got ready for bed and Jack lent Nathan pajamas and a toothbrush. When he was ready, he joined Jack at the bed. He stifled a laugh because even the bedding was the same color.

“Which side do you want?” Jack asked and Nathan could tell he was doing his best to not let it show that he thought this whole situation was weird.

“I’ll take this side,” Nathan replied, moving to the side he usually slept on, knowing the other side was Jack’s normal side. He waited for Jack to get in bed first before getting in himself.

“So, how do you want to do this?” Jack asked.

Nathan shrugged. “I just want to hold you, so however you’re most comfortable will work for me.”

“Do we – I mean do you and your Jack – do this a lot?”

“Some.” Trying to add some levity, he lightly said, “We don’t have sex *every* night, Jack.”

Jack looked like he was about to complain, but then stopped himself. After a minute of looking like he was debating what to do, and Nathan preparing himself to get booted back to the couch and then working up the courage to suggest it himself, Jack nodded to himself and turned off the bedside lamp.

He settled under the covers facing away from Nathan and said, “Okay, I’m ready.”

Nathan settled behind him and spooned against him, his left arm supporting Jack’s neck under his pillow. He carefully wrapped his arm around Jack’s torso, making sure to keep it just above Jack’s bellybutton, hoping Jack was comfortable with that. Nathan took a deep breath and felt himself relax. Jack smelled and felt the same as his own did and he had to resist the urge to kiss the back of Jack’s neck and bury his nose there like he normally would and settled for shifting himself back a tiny bit to give them a bit of space so Jack wouldn’t feel too crowded.

Nathan lay awake for a while listening to Jack’s breathing slowly even out as he fell asleep. He carefully inched his hand up to cover Jack’s heart and felt its reassuring cadence beneath his palm. He breathed deeply and smiled at the familiar smell Jack’s laundry detergent, soap, and the man himself.

Jack shifted back until he was flush against Nathan, who reflexively tightened his hold on Jack and Jack melted into him. If Nathan closed his eyes and didn’t think, he could pretend that this was his Jack and that he was home.

The next morning, Nathan woke slowly, luxuriating in the feel of a comfortable bed and Jack’s warm body entwined with his own. During the night, they had shifted in their sleep so that now Nathan was on his back and Jack was pressed against his side, his left leg thrown over Nathan’s right thigh and Nathan’s left arm holding him close. Jack’s hand had made its way beneath Nathan’s t-shirt and was splayed possessively across the middle of Nathan’s chest and his face was buried in the crook of Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan impulsively placed a kiss against Jack’s hair, but the other man didn’t stir, and gently stroked Jack’s back.

Unbidden, he started thinking about the alternate reality drive. He and Dr. Williams would be able to start sorting through the possible realities the next day and it would probably take two or three days to go through them all, even with the search parameters. Then he would know his fate. And his Jack’s fate.

Being stuck here was one thing. He could deal with that if they couldn’t get the drive to work. But living while knowing that his Jack wasn’t alive somewhere? He wasn’t sure he could do that. He sighed softly and pressed another kiss to the top of Jack’s head, squeezing him close for the duration of the kiss.

“You’re thinking, aren’t you?” Jack murmured sleepily into Nathan’s shoulder.

“Maybe,” Nathan replied softly.

“Stop it and go back to sleep.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Nathan told him truthfully.

“Try for me?” Jack almost whined. “It’s Sunday morning.” He nuzzled against Nathan’s neck and fell back asleep.

Nathan sighed again and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t going to be able to “stop thinking” for a few days.

When Nathan woke again, the bed was empty and he could smell breakfast cooking. Quashing the sadness he felt at that, he yawned and stretched before getting up. He quickly did his morning ablutions before heading downstairs.

“Good morning,” he said, curling his hands into fists and pressing his nails hard against his palms so he wouldn’t be as tempted to fist his hands in Jack’s t-shirt and press himself against Jack’s back.

“Morning,” Jack replied, glancing over his shoulder. “You timed it just right – breakfast is ready. There’s coffee in the pot.”

“Thanks,” Nathan said and busied himself with pouring himself a cup.