(no subject)

So I've heard "Unwell" by Matchbox 20 three times between yesterday and today. For some reason, it just resonates with me. You know - when a song just hits you *right* *there* and you don't necessarily know why? That's how it's been with this song. And I wonder what's going on if twice before the song came on, I was thinking about Ames. *shrugs* Whatever.

( lyrics for 'Unwell' )

(no subject)

I feel...

I don't know how I feel. Things are all kind of jumbled up inside. There's sadness and doubt and a need to be with at least one of my best friends (since they know me so well and I know that they could help me through this) that quite honestly scares me. Starting to doubt about whether a romantic relationship with Ames would even remotely work (aside from the distance), just because of the age difference - yes, there's a gap between our ages. (But those of you that know me really well - are you really surprised by this?) I would still like to give it a go, but I'm starting to do the 'what if?' game in the back of my mind.

I don't even know where to begin with everything, so I'm not going to try right now. Regina, Mary Ann, Beth, anyone - is there anyway I could chat with one of you one night this week? I'll be home about 11 tomorrow and possibly Friday, Thursday I'll be home later. But I know I'll see you on Saturday, R.

I think I'm beginning to understand why practically everyone in the entertainment industry's got a therapist.

And the lack of sleep hasn't helped lately.