(no subject)

[sam_gamgee]

In honor of Brawny turning 30 today.

Title: "Blatant Ageism"
Author: Adrian
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Distribution: My site
Rating: G
Summary: Ageism is evil.
Notes: a) This is all jacklemmon's fault. And the Brawny ad department's. b) Odd lines are the "old" Brawny man (the one with the sandy hair and the mustache) and the even lines are the newer "younger" Brawny man (the one with the dark brown hair). c) This is, in no way, meant to be taken seriously.
Dedication: To the Brawny ad department for those hilarious commercials that made me think of this in the first place.



*grumble, grumble, grumble*

"What is your problem?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"A few months before I turn 30, the head honchos send you for me to train and tell me I have to retire at the beginning of October. Today, actually."

"Why?"

"Blatant ageism."

"It is not."

*shows letter of forced retirement*

"That's not right. You should be allowed to work as long as you want."

"Maybe it's better this way. Now I'll be able to travel. And I won't have to put up with your infernal optimism every day."

"C'mon. You know you'll miss me."

*grumble, grumble* "Maybe a little."

"And you can always come visit."

*snort* "Like they'd let me."

"Then I'm sure you could find a nice family to live with."

"You know I don't like kids."

"Then maybe you'll get an older couple with no kids."

"How is your optimism always this eternal?"

"I find it takes a lot less energy than being pessimistic all the time."

"And what do you do with all your extra energy? Aside from the meditation, people watching, and soap marathons."

"Well, I've been seeing someone casually."

"Oh, yeah? Who?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?"

"What's with the sudden interest?"

"What's with the sudden discretion? You've always told me everything."

"Maybe because I think that I need to deal with it discreetly."

"Dicsreetly? It's casual. Casual relationships are never discreet."

"Then why do you need me to tell you who I'm seeing? Wouldn't you have already heard?"

"Maybe I just want to see if what I've heard is right."

*sigh* "You're incorrigible."

*chuckles*

*looong pause* "It's Mr. Clean."

*raises eyebrows*

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, that was a something look."

"I just never, well, you know."

"Did I just render you speechless?"

"Yes."

"Who were you expecting? Aunt Jemima?"

"Well, I would've rather not thought about it at all."

"Why? Does the thought of sex scare you?"

"No. Just the thought of you having sex scares me."

"Well, what do you expect? I have needs too, you know."

Customers, the store is now closing. Please make your way to the registers.

"Well, that's it. I'm off. Maybe I'll send you a postcard, kid." *pause* "Good luck with Baldie. He's worth it."

"Thanks. Have fun."

Comments

[spikesleman.livejournal.com]

LOL

That's a lot of fun!

[jacklemmon.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHA!

And how, pray tell, is this my fault? I don't slash the shopping aisle!
Okay, I do, but only when theirloveissopure LOL.

*snoooogles* This was most enjoyable, yo! *bounce*

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

Well, it's your fault because you're the one that really got the ball rolling with the inanimate object slash. But I'm not completely blaming you since the PR department's gotta take some too.

Well, in this case, I think theirloveissosqueakyclean is more apropos. :-P

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[nakedwesley.livejournal.com]

"Who were you expecting? Aunt Jemima?"

Hee! That was hilarious!

[lunanne.livejournal.com]

*giggle and bounce* The infamous Brawny fic! It's really great sweetie, very funny. I loved it. *nods*

And Younger Brawny Man/Mr. Clean theirloveissosqueakyclean!

Sorry I had too! *bounce*

*snoogles you tight*

[sam-gamgee.livejournal.com]

theirloveissosqueakyclean!

LOL. I *love* that! :-D

And I love that icon.