SGA fic: Gaijin part 20/40
Dec. 17th, 2008 11:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sam_gamgeeGaijin, Part 20/40
The complete header can be found in part 1.
Previous parts can be found here.
[In this part, English is in italics.]
“What more do you need?” John practically yelled. “A notarized affidavit? Natalia and the rest of her people have bent over backwards to do everything in their power to convince us that they’re telling us the truth about Rodney and that they’re not leading us into a trap.”
“They’re obviously not getting anything out of it, especially for the time and effort they’re putting into it,” Zelenka added.
“I know,” Elizabeth replied with a sigh. “I just…. I’m sorry. I want to believe them after all the work we’ve done with them for the past month both on the ‘Gate dialer and to help them get set up for the next planting.”
“And they’ve proven themselves to be very honest and forthright,” Zelenka supplied.
“If I didn’t know any better, Radek, I’d suspect you want Rodney back as much as John does,” Elizabeth replied, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
“Only so I can give him his job back, Elizabeth,” Zelenka replied. “I have firmly come to believe that only someone with Rodney’s forceful personality can truly run that department without it eating them alive.”
“I thought you liked being the head of the science department,” John said to him, eyes narrowing in confusion.
“I like not having ulcers more,” Zelenka replied. He paused for a moment, as if reconsidering his answer. “I do enjoy certain aspects of it, I will admit – like being able to see what everyone’s doing – but sometimes it’s like herding cats. And I much rather prefer it be Rodney having to be the one to pull a last minute save out of his ass when the Wraith decide to attack us.”
“But if it wasn’t for you, we might still be dealing with them on a fairly regular basis,” Elizabeth replied.
“Yeah,” John concurred. “Pitting them against Michael was a really good idea.”
Zelenka shrugged, blushing slightly. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just decided to give it a nudge to accelerate the process.”
Turning back to Elizabeth, John said, “Look, I promise to respect Rodney’s decision to stay if that’s what he wants and if that’s what you’re concerned about. But I think it’s ridiculous that you want to cross-check Natalia again before we make any plans. You’ve had enough discussions with her to know what she’s like. Zelenka and I – as well as Ronon, Teyla, at least a third of the science department, and a handful of Marines – have been to Morykos to help them set up their new irrigation system. If something was up, we would have found out about it then, regardless of whether or not they speak English.”
“I agree,” Zelenka spoke up. “There were too many new people for me to believe that they were all that good at keeping a cover.”
“Do I need to remind you both of the Genii?” Elizabeth asked.
“How about this?” John asked. “Natalia has told us that she would gladly take us to Lapras whenever we wanted and that this month would be good since there’s some sort of festival or market or something going on. We tell her when we want to go, make sure she doesn’t have contact with her people, and take one of the ‘Gate dialers we built. That should give us a 100% chance of not being ambushed, and if we somehow are, we’ll still be able to get off the planet.”
“I’ll think about it,” Elizabeth replied.
John was about to argue some more when Zelenka stood. “Come, John,” he said. “Let’s let Elizabeth have some time to consider it. Thank you, Elizabeth, for putting up with us,” he told her before he practically dragged John out of the office. “I would think that you would understand the genius behind a tactical retreat,” Zelenka told him once they were out of Elizabeth’s range of hearing.
“Yeah, good idea,” John replied. “Thanks.”
“Do we have a go yet?” Ronon asked after the team finished their sparring practice.
“Not yet,” John replied with a sigh. “Elizabeth still needs to think about it.”
“This level of caution is uncharacteristic, even for her,” Teyla replied with a note of confusion in her voice and her eyebrows knit together.
“Do you have a plan yet?” Darby asked.
“Yep,” John replied. “I presented it to her reasonably and logically, and with some help from Zelenka, and she still said she wants to think about it some more.”
“I say we just go,” Ronon replied.
“I’d love to, but I’m on thin ice as it is,” John told him with a sigh.
“I will speak with her,” Teyla told John.
“Thanks, Teyla,” he replied, giving her a weak smile. “She does seem to value your experience.”
“I would certainly hope so.”
“Let’s go eat,” Ronon said while he moved to the door, as if that solved everything.
“Keep this up, and your heart should be coming out of your chest any moment now,” Carson remarked dryly without looking up from his papers. “What’s got you so worked up this time, John?”
“I’m just pissed with Elizabeth,” John said as he entered Carson’s office and sat down in the empty chair. “She keeps dragging her feet in letting us go see Rodney. I understand the whole ‘wanting to be careful’ thing, but this is getting ridiculous.”
“You do realize that things may not be as you expect when you get there, right?” Carson asked, concern evident on his face and in his tone.
“Yes, I do realize it,” John replied. “Heightmeyer and I have been over it a few times. I can handle it.”
“I just –” Carson paused to choose his words. “I just worry about you, John. I know we’ve been through this before, but I don’t want you to be disappointed if you get there and things don’t work out as you expect. I do have another question for you that I don’t think you’ve considered. What are you going to do when you get back, assuming Rodney does come back with you?”
John opened his mouth to respond and then snapped it shut before replying, “That’s a trick question, right? Things will go back to normal.”
Carson shook his head in exasperation. “John, lad, the man’s been gone for just over three years. You can’t expect him to just waltz back in here and pick up as if he’d gone for a long lunch.”
“Well, then what do you suggest we do?” John asked, raising an eyebrow. His tone and body language demonstrated his disbelief in the scenario.
Carson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to see him in order to figure that out. Everyone’s case is different. Such as – while you’re still able to function, for another person, your same situation would have probably already converted over to full-blown depression. I just want you to consider this possibility as well.”
“Okay,” John replied, feeling like he’d been punched. “I’ll, uh, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“After having discussed the matter further with Natalia, I have decided to allow your team to accompany her to the festival,” Elizabeth told John and the rest of his team. “It would allow you to make contact with Rodney in a relaxed atmosphere and assess his situation. At the same time, Natalia has graciously agreed to act as a translator and liaison for you to the other peoples that will be at the festival. Hopefully, this will be a good chance to make a few more alliances.”
“That is great news,” Teyla replied with a pleased smile as John and Ronon grinned and even Darby seemed happy.
“You’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Elizabeth continued and they stood. “And Natalia said to make sure you have provisions because you’ll be stopping for a meal.”
“Elizabeth?” Darby asked. “I would like to request a dismissal from this mission. I think it’s going to be awkward enough for everyone without my presence.”
Elizabeth thought about it for a moment. “Okay. Fair enough. You can stay home.” As they left, she said, “Oh, John.” When he stayed behind, she continued, “Please be good and don’t let your exuberance to bring Rodney home get the best of you.”
“Don’t worry,” he replied tightly. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
That night, John couldn’t sleep. He kept going through every possible scenario – from it being an attack to Rodney yelling at them for taking so long and demanding they return to Atlantis immediately. When he finally got up, John’s stomach was in knots and he was certain he was going to go crazy from not knowing what was going to happen.
Both Teyla and Ronon looked like a mix of determination and hopefulness, and like they were much better rested than he was, when he arrived in the ‘Gate Room.
“Are you all right?” Teyla asked as she fixed one of the straps on his pack, looking concerned.
“Fine,” he replied shortly as Natalia entered. “Let’s get the show on the road. We’re ready, Chuck,” he called up to the Control room. The ‘Gate started up and John shifted from one foot to the other. When the wormhole stabilized, he motioned for Natalia to go ahead and then followed with Teyla and Ronon, the whole time willing himself to keep pace with them and not go running full speed ahead through the ‘Gate.
******
Rodney found it was easier to cope with Jaelyn’s death in silence and was grateful that everyone respected that, and even seemed to expect it. The ectopic pregnancy had taken him by surprise and had rattled him more than he had expected – and for the first time in his life making him feel like the gods were punishing them for what they had done. The knowledge that there was nothing he could have done for Jaelyn and the babies didn’t assuage his grief and guilt over what had happened.
And Rodney felt numb and cold, as if the warmth had been permanently sucked out of the air and his body. Whenever he thought of Jaelyn and the babies, or someone mentioned them, he didn’t feel like crying, like he had figured he would, but instead he just felt empty. On the third, and last, night of the wake, Rodney decided to swear off love completely. It was too much of a hassle and only lead to heartache and hurt. He had hoped that after John he wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt here, since things were done so differently, but he was wrong. Heartache still had a way of finding him and he was no longer going to give it a chance to hurt him again.
He did find some solace in the slow, methodical steps that were taken to prepare Jaelyn and the babies’ bodies for burial. Kirby had tried to explain to him that he didn’t have to do it alone, but Rodney swore off any help, wanting to do one last thing for Jaelyn and the babies, mostly out of love, and partially as an act of penance for his part in the whole mess.
He quietly murmured prayers for the dead as he washed the babies’ bodies and carefully went through the embalming process before wrapping them both in their burial shrouds. As he laid each of the little bodies aside, a wave of grief washed over him, and he leaned down and gently kissed the cloth-wrapped foreheads.
The preparation of Jaelyn’s body took more time because he had to sew up her abdomen and Rodney was surprised at how steady his hand was while he placed neat stitches along the incision. He felt a small measure of peace settle over him as he murmured the necessary prayers over her and prepared her body for burial. Once she was wrapped in her burial shroud, Rodney pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment and shut his eyes tightly against the suddenly threatening tears. Then he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed deeply for a few moments to get himself under control before moving to clean everything up.
“Are you ready?” Kirby asked, coming down into the pool cave.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Rodney replied, flexing his hands nervously at his sides as he looked at the shroud-wrapped bodies of his would-be family. “Thank you, Kirby, for letting me do this.”
“You’re welcome,” Kirby replied. “I can see that this was the proper way for you to say your goodbye. It’s time,” he called over his shoulder.
Jillian, Jessica, and Jennifer came into the cave. Jillian and Jessica each picked up one of the babies and Jennifer helped Rodney carry Jaelyn as they headed first to the surface and then out into the sunshine. Along the way, they were slowly and quietly joined by others in their village in a mournful procession until everyone had gathered around the burial site, situated about an hour’s walk from the village.
As the bodies were laid in the grave Rodney and Kelly had dug the previous day and Rodney began the funeral ceremony, he felt as if the process was lancing and suturing his numbness and grief, letting them out and letting warmth and peace in. By the time he had finished, Rodney felt more like his old self.
On the way back in to the village, Rodney noticed how unnaturally quiet the encampment was, as if they had been informed of the death and were paying their respects as well and he felt grateful that they would do that.
“Feel like going into the encampment?” Kelly asked when they reached the entrance to their village. “I wanted to visit Kevin-chan.”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, looking at the encampment and squinting in thought. “I don’t really feel like putting up with everyone’s condolences right now, but I know that if I don’t do it now, it’ll just happen later and I can’t afford to hide in my quarters all month.”
Jessica and Keith paused in front of them. “Thank you for what you did for Jaelyn-kun and the babies,” Jessica told him, her voice sad. “We’d like you to come over for dinner.”
“Okay,” Rodney replied with a slight nod. “I’ll be there.” To Kelly, he said, “Let’s go into the encampment. I think it’ll be better if I face whatever sympathy I’m going to get and get it over with. And it’ll be good to see Kevin again.”
Kevin greeted them warmly when they arrived at the Morykons’ tent. “I’m saddened to hear of your loss, Rodney. I could tell you felt deeply for her and were looking forward to your life together.”
“Thank you, Kevin,” Rodney replied sincerely. “Your words are appreciated. I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”
They talked until Rodney had to leave for dinner with Jaelyn’s family.
“I’ll come with you,” Kelly said as he stood with Rodney.
“Stay,” Rodney replied, trying to wave him back down. “I can find my way back perfectly fine and this will give you both a chance to catch up before Natalia decides to play den mother and kick you out.”
“She’s actually not here right now,” Kevin replied. “She’s been helping another people with portable dialers for the Ring. She’s hoping to come later this month, though.”
“It would be good to see her again, if she does,” Kelly replied. “What would keep her away, though?”
“The people she’s helping have a way to help us establish a more reliable harvest cycle and we’re hoping to have that finished this month as well, even if this cycle’s harvest is too late to save.”
“Did she say who these people were?” Rodney asked, his interest piqued.
Kevin shook his head. “Only that they spoke the common language of the majority and are very gracious hosts. I think it is because, like so many planets, they know the Wraith and are careful of giving out too much information. You never know who might be a Worshipper.” Both Rodney and Kevin made a disgusted expression. “You better go, Rodney. I don’t want you being late for your dinner.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Rodney asked expectantly.
“Tomorrow,” Kevin replied with a nod and a smile. “I will like that very much.”
When Rodney arrived at Jaelyn’s family’s quarters, he was greeted by the sad faces of her family.
“We wanted to thank you again for what you did for Jaelyn and the babies,” Keith said. “We couldn’t have gotten a better son.”
“And we wanted you to have these things,” Jessica said, pointing to the neatly stacked pile of items Jaelyn had been collecting for the wedding.
“What am I supposed to do with them?” Rodney asked, confusion evident in his voice.
“That is up to you,” Keith replied. “We won’t be offended whichever way you decide.”
“Okay, um….” Rodney tried to think as quickly as possible. “I’d like you all to have something, if you want it. Or, you know, a couple somethings. Feel free to take what you want.”
They all looked at him dubiously until Jennifer carefully picked out a couple of Jaelyn’s new dresses and Rodney gave her a small smile. Reassured that he meant what he said, the rest of the family each picked out a couple of things. When they had finished, they ate dinner in silence before helping Rodney carry the rest of the items to his quarters. Jillian and Kirby came out and helped them put things away. As everything was neatly stacked, Rodney made a mental inventory of what he had and started divvying it up to people he knew could use it.
Once Jaelyn’s family had left, he pulled out two blankets and two stools and said, “I want you both to have these.”
“We can’t take them, Rodney-kun,” Jillian replied.
“Please take them,” he replied. “I *want* you to have them. You’ve both been so generous to me.”
“Thank you, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, graciously taking the items Rodney offered him. Rodney could tell, though, that he was a bit uneasy about it as well. After he put the items away, Kirby said, “During the festival, mourning practices are suspended, so we’ll start once it’s over.”
“Okay,” Rodney replied. “If there’s something else you’d rather have, Jillian-kun, I’ll gladly give it to you.”
“Let me think about it,” she replied, looking relieved. “It just feels odd to be taking something that was supposed to be part of a happy event for you.”
Rodney put the other stool and blanket away. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll make me happy if something I have can make you happy and be put to good use.”
After Jillian left with Jasmine to visit friends in the encampment, Kirby patted the stool next to his and said, “Rodney-kun, I need to talk to you about Jaelyn.”
“What about her?” Rodney asked apprehensively as he sat down next to Kirby, wondering what would cause him to be so serious about someone recently deceased.
“This wasn’t to be Jaelyn’s first marriage – or her first miscarriage.” Kirby continued through Rodney’s sharp intake of breath and raised eyebrows. “She was married before – a few cycles ago – but the Korsans took her husband. She was barely pregnant at the time – just enough that we knew for certain she was – but she miscarried after he was taken. We all assumed then that it was the grief that caused the pregnancy to end since they were very much in love, and maybe it’s still true, but maybe her body just wasn’t made to have children as much as she wanted them.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Rodney asked, feeling very much out of his depth.
“I’m telling you because I don’t want you carrying guilt over her death. If this hadn’t happened now, it would have happened after you were married. And I hope it will help you understand Jillian’s behavior these past few months. She was afraid that Jaelyn would hurt you in trying to get what she wanted – another child.”
“Then why –?” Rodney looked at him confused for a moment. “Why didn’t Jillian come out and say it, especially after everything came out?”
“I don’t know,” Kirby replied. “I can only guess that when she heard that the wedding was still on, she figured that you would be okay.”
Kelly called to them from the other side of the curtain and Kirby invited him in. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Kelly said.
“Not at all,” Kirby replied. “We’re finished here. Go on, Rodney-kun, have a good time.” He smiled at the two men.
“Thanks for telling me, Kirby. Would you mind helping me out, Kelly?” Rodney asked Kelly as he stood.
“Sure, what do you need to do?” Kelly asked.
“Jessica and Keith gave me the things Jaelyn had acquired for the wedding and I want to take some things to people who I think could use them.”
“No problem. Give me some things and let’s get going.”
Trying to track down the people on his list took Rodney more time than he thought, but it helped him find a new balance with his life and let him slowly get used to the idea that Jaelyn really was gone. It also cemented his desire to stay single for the rest of his life. He found he was happy to be able to do his own thing and not have to worry about someone else in such an intimate way.
“Why would you want to do that?” Kelly asked when Rodney told him near the end of the festival. “I’m sure we could find someone else for you, if you’re worried that we wouldn’t be able to.”
“It’s not that,” Rodney replied as they made their way through the crowd to the Morykons’ tent. “I just don’t think I could stand losing someone else again. And I’m happy being by myself.”
Kelly shook his head as they reached their tent. “I don’t get you, Rodney-chan. And I promise not to tell you I told you so when you change your mind.” He called into the tent and Kevin appeared a moment later.
“Hi,” Kevin replied, stepping outside. “I was told to tell you two that you should go back to your borough.”
“For what?” Kelly asked, eyebrows knitting together.
“I don’t know,” Kevin replied. “Natalia’s here and she stuck her head in to tell us to pass on the message if Rodney stopped by, but that was it before she left again.”
Kelly and Rodney looked at each other and shrugged. “Thanks, Kevin,” Kelly replied. “We’ll be back later.”
“I hope everything’s okay,” Rodney said as they headed to the village.
“I’m sure it will be,” Kelly replied. “If it wasn’t, I think they would have sent someone looking for us,” he said as they entered their borough and the conversation immediately stopped.
“What’s goi–?” Rodney asked, immediately stopping. He stared at the newcomers in dumbfounded silence, gaping at them. He was vaguely aware of Kelly looking back and forth between them and Kirby asking him something, but Rodney could only stare at John, Teyla, and Ronon, who were looking back at him in shock. “What the –? What the hell are you three doing here?”
“Who are they, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked him nervously.
“They’re my –,” Rodney swallowed before continuing. “They’re my teammates. The ones I told you about. The woman is Teyla, the big guy is Ronon and the guy with the impossible hair is Col. John Sheppard.” Turning his attention back to them, he repeated, “What are you doing here?”
Rodney could see that while Ronon seemed to have recovered, there was surprise still in Teyla’s eyes and John’s frown deepened and he opened his mouth as Rodney’s brain clicked into gear and he realized that they couldn’t understand him.
His brain scrambled for a second before he repeated, “What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? We’re here to take you home,” John managed to say as he took a cautious step forward.
“It is good to see you again, Rodney,” Teyla said as she came forward with a warm smile, easily passing John, putting her hands on his shoulders and tilting her head down slightly.
“It’s, uh, good to see you again too, Teyla,” Rodney replied, mirroring her actions before putting both of his hands on her cheeks. He could feel the expectant air around them ease a bit at the sight of the familiar gesture.
Ronon was next, sweeping him into a fierce hug. Rodney was afraid they wouldn’t be able to pry Ronon off of him before some real damage was done. “I’m glad we found you, buddy,” he told Rodney gruffly.
“Need air here,” Rodney said, patting Ronon on the shoulder and Ronon released him with a goofy grin.
Rodney eyed John warily. “Well, then,” he said, hesitantly.
“It’s good to see you, Rodney,” John said.
“It’s good to see you too,” Rodney replied as he closed the distance between them and cupped John’s face with his hands. John looked surprised, but didn’t pull away, and after a moment, he mirrored the act.
When Rodney and John stepped away from each other, Kirby said, “Rodney-kun, Natalia was just about to explain to us who are new guests are. Perhaps you would like to do it for her?”
Rodney ducked his head before replying, “These are my teammates from my native home.” He gestured to each of them as he said, “This is John Sheppard, Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagen. I can’t say why they’re here, though. Natalia will have to explain that one to you.”
“They came to see about making alliances with the tribes here,” Natalia replied, “and to see about taking you home.”
“I’ll see you later, Rodney-chan,” Kelly said.
“Okay,” Rodney replied, barely taking his eyes off his teammates. “I’ll introduce you properly later.”
“Why don’t you go into our quarters, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said as Kelly left. “I’ll make sure you have some uninterrupted time to get reacquainted.”
“Thank you, Kirby,” Rodney replied. “Come on,” he said to Ronon, John, and Teyla as he went into his quarters.
Looking around as Rodney pulled out stools, John said, “Well, this is cozy.”
“It’s got its own sort of charm,” Rodney replied. “I live here with Kirby and his daughter, Jillian.” After taking their gear and stowing it at the end of his cot, Rodney said, “Please, sit,” as he took off his robe and traded his boots for moccasins. “Can I get you something to drink or something to eat?”
“Nah, we’re good,” John replied as they sat.
Rodney sat down on his cot and saw they were examining him. He wondered how he looked to them. He knew he was leaner – any excess fat has been burned off long ago and his hair was shaggier and a little longer than any of them, himself included, were used to. And it was probably a little odd to see him sitting still and not babbling away or messing with something. For his part, he could see that they hadn’t changed much in the past four cycles, aside from Ronon having a new tattoo on his left forearm.
Teyla was the first to break the silence. “You look well, Rodney.”
“I’ve been gone for four cycles and that’s the best you can come up with?” he asked in disbelief. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before amending, “Sorry. That was out of line.”
“That tunnel’s pretty cool,” Ronon replied with a grin.
“It is pretty ingenious,” Rodney agreed with a smile of his own.
“If you had access to the ‘Gate, why didn’t you come home?” John asked.
“No ‘Gate dialer,” Rodney replied. “It’s not like everyone here has one. Most have never been off the planet. And it’s not like I didn’t try,” he added huffily.
“Well, we’re here to take you home now,” John told him.
“I don’t know if I want to go back to Atlantis,” Rodney replied, crossing his arms.
“Why not?” John asked in alarm.
“Maybe I like it here. Maybe I like it better here than Atlantis. Maybe I like not having to perform life or death miracles.”
“We are not forcing you to come back, Rodney,” Teyla replied as she gave John a stern look. “We are merely letting you know the option is there. We will be here until the end of the festival – whichever way you decide.”
“Are you, uh, staying with the Morykons?” Rodney asked, letting the anger at John’s assumption leave him.
“We are,” Teyla replied. “Kirby was here when we came in from the tunnel and Natalia wanted to introduce us first before continuing on.”
“You should stay a night or two here. I know no one would mind.” Rodney turned when he heard voices outside were getting closer and one was excited.
“What’s going on?” Ronon asked, looking a little uneasy and on the ready.
“It’s, uh, Jillian. She wants to meet you three and Kirby’s trying to convince her to give us a little more time first.”
“It’s not like we’re meeting you for the first time,” John replied with a roll of his eyes. “We’ve already met Kirby, so why don’t we meet her now and get it out of the way?”
“Okay,” Rodney replied, getting up. He went to the entry and stuck his head out. “It’s okay,” he told them. “They want to meet her too.”
Jillian’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Really,” Rodney replied with a smile and moved aside so she could enter. He led her over to where they were sitting. “This is John, Teyla, and Ronon – my team,” he told her as he pointed them out and she gave them each a slight bow.
“I remember you talking about them,” Jillian replied, looking at him with concern. “Does this mean you’re going back with them?”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied. “It’s something I’ll have to think about.”
Jillian nodded and said, “Invite them for dinner.” Rodney complied and passed on the invitation.
“That’s very kind,” Teyla replied, “but we don’t want to put you out. Tell her we’ll take a rain check for a day when she’s had time to plan.”
Rodney relayed the message, but Jillian was adamant that they would stay for dinner that night. “I guess she wants to make sure you have a home-cooked meal your first night here,” Rodney told them with a wry smile. “Let’s get your things over to the Morykons’ tent while she’s starting dinner.”
Ronon, Teyla, and John stood and Rodney handed each of them their gear. Once they were ready, he led them out of the tent and into the sunlight. They paused for a moment to let their eyes adjust to the brighter light and John reflexively put on his sunglasses.
“Lot of people,” Ronon commented as they started walking again.
“There are,” Rodney agreed. “But this is the big business event of the cycle for everyone, so there’s always a good turnout. And I’m assuming that Elizabeth wants you to see if you can do business with anyone.”
“That was the idea,” John drawled as he looked around.
Even with the shades on and four cycles between them, Rodney knew the look he was using – John was checking for threats. Rodney knew it wasn’t anything personal, but he felt like telling him that no one here was a *serious* threat – never had been, never would be.
They wound through the encampment with Rodney leading the way and occasionally greeting people and making quick appointments.
“You’re popular,” John commented when they reached the Morykons’ tent.
“It sounds like you’re surprised,” Rodney commented before calling into the tent.
Natalia and Kevin greeted them and helped stow their things. Once that was done, Rodney made the formal introduction between them and Kevin, who seemed pleased to meet them. They were quiet on the way back and through dinner – which Rodney was going to consider a miracle for the amount of food Jillian had whipped up in such a short time.
Rodney had hoped to talk to them after dinner, but after they had finished, John yawned loudly.
“I’m sorry,” John said sheepishly. “I didn’t sleep last night.”
On his way back home from taking them to the Morykons’ tent, Rodney wasn’t sure what to think. Part of him wanted to say that having them show up now was his mind’s way of trying to cope with the loss of Jaelyn and the babies. But if that were the case, Ronon wouldn’t have a new tattoo and John wouldn’t look so haunted and tired.
Rodney admitted that he had wanted to see them for so long that, now that he had the chance, he didn’t know what he wanted to do or say to them. And he definitely didn’t know if he wanted to go back. He would admit that it would be good for closure, but what if they didn’t let him come back?
“You look troubled, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said when Rodney reentered their quarters. “I would think that your friends being here would be a cause for celebration”
“It is,” Rodney replied as he sat down with a sigh. “They want me to go back with them.”
“Do you want to?”
“I honestly don’t know. I had always assumed that if I got the chance to I would, I guess. But now that they’re here….” He trailed off.
“I think you should. That way you can finally put those questions and feelings to rest and move forward. You will always be welcomed back.”
“If they let me,” Rodney muttered. “But what about you?” he asked.
Kirby shrugged. “I’ll find someone else. It’s not like sudden vacancies are a new thing here, Rodney-kun. And Laura will as well. It’s been a fact of life for us for a long time.”
“What about Jaelyn’s family? Don’t I have an obligation to them?”
“No, you don’t. You fulfilled your end of the punishment, the marriage didn’t happen and, ultimately, you didn’t have any children.” Seeing that Rodney was about to protest, Kirby continued, “You’ve seen what happens here when someone dies. It’s not any one person’s or family’s responsibility to make sure the remaining family members are provided for. Everyone chips in to help them out.” He stood. “Get some rest and try to clear your head. The next few days will be tough for you. I know you’ll make the right decision.”
“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied as he laid down on his cot and let out a deep breath, closing his eyes to concentrate.
He felt like he had back at the beginning – adrift and unsure, wishing his wasn’t in this position, and, this time, wishing he didn’t care so much for both sides. When he shifted and rolled over, he found Jillian making breakfast.
“Good morning, sleepy-head,” she said with a smile.
Rodney quickly got up, changed, and went through his morning ablutions. “You should’ve woken me,” he hissed. “They’ll be here any minute.”
“You’ll be fine,” she said, unconcerned. Hearing foreign accents outside as he finished, she said, “See, just in time.”
“Very funny,” Rodney replied dryly. He went to let them in. “Good morning,” he told them as they entered and they responded in kind. “I hope you all slept well.”
“Very well,” John replied as they sat around the fire pit. “The Morykons seem to enjoy traveling in style. It’s quite different from they way they live at home.”
As they talked and ate, Rodney was reminded of how much he had come to care for these three, as well as the people back on Atlantis and that, regardless of where he ended up, he needed to go back to Atlantis and say a proper good-bye to everyone there. He just hoped that Kelly would understand.
Near the end of breakfast, Kelly hailed them from outside and Jillian waved Rodney to stay seated while she let him in. Seeing the crowd, Kelly said, “I’ll come back later.”
“No, stay,” Rodney replied. “I want you to meet everyone anyway. These are my best friends in Atlantis – John, Teyla, and Ronon,” he said, pointing each of them out. “This is my bound friend, Kelly,” he told them.
“Bound friend?” John asked, gaze shifting to Kelly and then back to Rodney. “Sounds a little… hinky.”
“It’s like a best friend, but deeper,” Rodney replied. “He’s kept me from going crazy more than once.”
Looking at his watch, John said, “I hate to eat and run, but we have an agreement with Natalia to make some contacts with the other groups here and she wanted to get started early. Did you want to come with us?”
“I need to talk to Kelly first, then I’ll see if I can find you,” Rodney replied, feeling a tiny sting, but pushing it away.
The Lanteans nodded and stood, had Rodney relay a ‘thanks’ to Jillian – who had stepped out, and headed out.
“What’s going on?” Kelly asked, looking confused and sitting down next to Rodney.
“Natalia’s introducing them to some of the other groups,” Rodney replied. “I need to tell you something, though. They’ve asked me to go back with them and I think I’m going to.”
“Good for you,” Kelly replied. “I know you’ve wanted that for a long time.”
“The thing is,” Rodney added, looking down at his hands, “I don’t know if I want to stay there. I love it here and I don’t want to leave all of you.”
“Don’t worry about us, Rodney-chan. We’re a resilient bunch – just like you. You need to do this. You’ve always said you wanted to make a clean break from them. Now’s your chance to do so. Or, if you place is with them, that’s how it will end up.”
Rodney looked at Kelly for a long moment, torn between going through with his decision and changing his mind. The decision to go back to Atlantis slowly won out. Impulsively, he leaned over and hugged Kelly tightly. “You’ve been a better friend than I’ve ever had,” he told the shocked Kelly as he pulled away. “I hope we’ll be able to see each other again.”
“I have a feeling we will,” Kelly replied with a smile. Touching his heart, he said, “I can feel it in here.”
“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied, wondering what being back in Atlantis would be like after four cycles away.
Continue in Part 21
The complete header can be found in part 1.
Previous parts can be found here.
[In this part, English is in italics.]
“What more do you need?” John practically yelled. “A notarized affidavit? Natalia and the rest of her people have bent over backwards to do everything in their power to convince us that they’re telling us the truth about Rodney and that they’re not leading us into a trap.”
“They’re obviously not getting anything out of it, especially for the time and effort they’re putting into it,” Zelenka added.
“I know,” Elizabeth replied with a sigh. “I just…. I’m sorry. I want to believe them after all the work we’ve done with them for the past month both on the ‘Gate dialer and to help them get set up for the next planting.”
“And they’ve proven themselves to be very honest and forthright,” Zelenka supplied.
“If I didn’t know any better, Radek, I’d suspect you want Rodney back as much as John does,” Elizabeth replied, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
“Only so I can give him his job back, Elizabeth,” Zelenka replied. “I have firmly come to believe that only someone with Rodney’s forceful personality can truly run that department without it eating them alive.”
“I thought you liked being the head of the science department,” John said to him, eyes narrowing in confusion.
“I like not having ulcers more,” Zelenka replied. He paused for a moment, as if reconsidering his answer. “I do enjoy certain aspects of it, I will admit – like being able to see what everyone’s doing – but sometimes it’s like herding cats. And I much rather prefer it be Rodney having to be the one to pull a last minute save out of his ass when the Wraith decide to attack us.”
“But if it wasn’t for you, we might still be dealing with them on a fairly regular basis,” Elizabeth replied.
“Yeah,” John concurred. “Pitting them against Michael was a really good idea.”
Zelenka shrugged, blushing slightly. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just decided to give it a nudge to accelerate the process.”
Turning back to Elizabeth, John said, “Look, I promise to respect Rodney’s decision to stay if that’s what he wants and if that’s what you’re concerned about. But I think it’s ridiculous that you want to cross-check Natalia again before we make any plans. You’ve had enough discussions with her to know what she’s like. Zelenka and I – as well as Ronon, Teyla, at least a third of the science department, and a handful of Marines – have been to Morykos to help them set up their new irrigation system. If something was up, we would have found out about it then, regardless of whether or not they speak English.”
“I agree,” Zelenka spoke up. “There were too many new people for me to believe that they were all that good at keeping a cover.”
“Do I need to remind you both of the Genii?” Elizabeth asked.
“How about this?” John asked. “Natalia has told us that she would gladly take us to Lapras whenever we wanted and that this month would be good since there’s some sort of festival or market or something going on. We tell her when we want to go, make sure she doesn’t have contact with her people, and take one of the ‘Gate dialers we built. That should give us a 100% chance of not being ambushed, and if we somehow are, we’ll still be able to get off the planet.”
“I’ll think about it,” Elizabeth replied.
John was about to argue some more when Zelenka stood. “Come, John,” he said. “Let’s let Elizabeth have some time to consider it. Thank you, Elizabeth, for putting up with us,” he told her before he practically dragged John out of the office. “I would think that you would understand the genius behind a tactical retreat,” Zelenka told him once they were out of Elizabeth’s range of hearing.
“Yeah, good idea,” John replied. “Thanks.”
“Do we have a go yet?” Ronon asked after the team finished their sparring practice.
“Not yet,” John replied with a sigh. “Elizabeth still needs to think about it.”
“This level of caution is uncharacteristic, even for her,” Teyla replied with a note of confusion in her voice and her eyebrows knit together.
“Do you have a plan yet?” Darby asked.
“Yep,” John replied. “I presented it to her reasonably and logically, and with some help from Zelenka, and she still said she wants to think about it some more.”
“I say we just go,” Ronon replied.
“I’d love to, but I’m on thin ice as it is,” John told him with a sigh.
“I will speak with her,” Teyla told John.
“Thanks, Teyla,” he replied, giving her a weak smile. “She does seem to value your experience.”
“I would certainly hope so.”
“Let’s go eat,” Ronon said while he moved to the door, as if that solved everything.
“Keep this up, and your heart should be coming out of your chest any moment now,” Carson remarked dryly without looking up from his papers. “What’s got you so worked up this time, John?”
“I’m just pissed with Elizabeth,” John said as he entered Carson’s office and sat down in the empty chair. “She keeps dragging her feet in letting us go see Rodney. I understand the whole ‘wanting to be careful’ thing, but this is getting ridiculous.”
“You do realize that things may not be as you expect when you get there, right?” Carson asked, concern evident on his face and in his tone.
“Yes, I do realize it,” John replied. “Heightmeyer and I have been over it a few times. I can handle it.”
“I just –” Carson paused to choose his words. “I just worry about you, John. I know we’ve been through this before, but I don’t want you to be disappointed if you get there and things don’t work out as you expect. I do have another question for you that I don’t think you’ve considered. What are you going to do when you get back, assuming Rodney does come back with you?”
John opened his mouth to respond and then snapped it shut before replying, “That’s a trick question, right? Things will go back to normal.”
Carson shook his head in exasperation. “John, lad, the man’s been gone for just over three years. You can’t expect him to just waltz back in here and pick up as if he’d gone for a long lunch.”
“Well, then what do you suggest we do?” John asked, raising an eyebrow. His tone and body language demonstrated his disbelief in the scenario.
Carson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to see him in order to figure that out. Everyone’s case is different. Such as – while you’re still able to function, for another person, your same situation would have probably already converted over to full-blown depression. I just want you to consider this possibility as well.”
“Okay,” John replied, feeling like he’d been punched. “I’ll, uh, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“After having discussed the matter further with Natalia, I have decided to allow your team to accompany her to the festival,” Elizabeth told John and the rest of his team. “It would allow you to make contact with Rodney in a relaxed atmosphere and assess his situation. At the same time, Natalia has graciously agreed to act as a translator and liaison for you to the other peoples that will be at the festival. Hopefully, this will be a good chance to make a few more alliances.”
“That is great news,” Teyla replied with a pleased smile as John and Ronon grinned and even Darby seemed happy.
“You’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Elizabeth continued and they stood. “And Natalia said to make sure you have provisions because you’ll be stopping for a meal.”
“Elizabeth?” Darby asked. “I would like to request a dismissal from this mission. I think it’s going to be awkward enough for everyone without my presence.”
Elizabeth thought about it for a moment. “Okay. Fair enough. You can stay home.” As they left, she said, “Oh, John.” When he stayed behind, she continued, “Please be good and don’t let your exuberance to bring Rodney home get the best of you.”
“Don’t worry,” he replied tightly. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
That night, John couldn’t sleep. He kept going through every possible scenario – from it being an attack to Rodney yelling at them for taking so long and demanding they return to Atlantis immediately. When he finally got up, John’s stomach was in knots and he was certain he was going to go crazy from not knowing what was going to happen.
Both Teyla and Ronon looked like a mix of determination and hopefulness, and like they were much better rested than he was, when he arrived in the ‘Gate Room.
“Are you all right?” Teyla asked as she fixed one of the straps on his pack, looking concerned.
“Fine,” he replied shortly as Natalia entered. “Let’s get the show on the road. We’re ready, Chuck,” he called up to the Control room. The ‘Gate started up and John shifted from one foot to the other. When the wormhole stabilized, he motioned for Natalia to go ahead and then followed with Teyla and Ronon, the whole time willing himself to keep pace with them and not go running full speed ahead through the ‘Gate.
******
Rodney found it was easier to cope with Jaelyn’s death in silence and was grateful that everyone respected that, and even seemed to expect it. The ectopic pregnancy had taken him by surprise and had rattled him more than he had expected – and for the first time in his life making him feel like the gods were punishing them for what they had done. The knowledge that there was nothing he could have done for Jaelyn and the babies didn’t assuage his grief and guilt over what had happened.
And Rodney felt numb and cold, as if the warmth had been permanently sucked out of the air and his body. Whenever he thought of Jaelyn and the babies, or someone mentioned them, he didn’t feel like crying, like he had figured he would, but instead he just felt empty. On the third, and last, night of the wake, Rodney decided to swear off love completely. It was too much of a hassle and only lead to heartache and hurt. He had hoped that after John he wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt here, since things were done so differently, but he was wrong. Heartache still had a way of finding him and he was no longer going to give it a chance to hurt him again.
He did find some solace in the slow, methodical steps that were taken to prepare Jaelyn and the babies’ bodies for burial. Kirby had tried to explain to him that he didn’t have to do it alone, but Rodney swore off any help, wanting to do one last thing for Jaelyn and the babies, mostly out of love, and partially as an act of penance for his part in the whole mess.
He quietly murmured prayers for the dead as he washed the babies’ bodies and carefully went through the embalming process before wrapping them both in their burial shrouds. As he laid each of the little bodies aside, a wave of grief washed over him, and he leaned down and gently kissed the cloth-wrapped foreheads.
The preparation of Jaelyn’s body took more time because he had to sew up her abdomen and Rodney was surprised at how steady his hand was while he placed neat stitches along the incision. He felt a small measure of peace settle over him as he murmured the necessary prayers over her and prepared her body for burial. Once she was wrapped in her burial shroud, Rodney pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment and shut his eyes tightly against the suddenly threatening tears. Then he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed deeply for a few moments to get himself under control before moving to clean everything up.
“Are you ready?” Kirby asked, coming down into the pool cave.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Rodney replied, flexing his hands nervously at his sides as he looked at the shroud-wrapped bodies of his would-be family. “Thank you, Kirby, for letting me do this.”
“You’re welcome,” Kirby replied. “I can see that this was the proper way for you to say your goodbye. It’s time,” he called over his shoulder.
Jillian, Jessica, and Jennifer came into the cave. Jillian and Jessica each picked up one of the babies and Jennifer helped Rodney carry Jaelyn as they headed first to the surface and then out into the sunshine. Along the way, they were slowly and quietly joined by others in their village in a mournful procession until everyone had gathered around the burial site, situated about an hour’s walk from the village.
As the bodies were laid in the grave Rodney and Kelly had dug the previous day and Rodney began the funeral ceremony, he felt as if the process was lancing and suturing his numbness and grief, letting them out and letting warmth and peace in. By the time he had finished, Rodney felt more like his old self.
On the way back in to the village, Rodney noticed how unnaturally quiet the encampment was, as if they had been informed of the death and were paying their respects as well and he felt grateful that they would do that.
“Feel like going into the encampment?” Kelly asked when they reached the entrance to their village. “I wanted to visit Kevin-chan.”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied, looking at the encampment and squinting in thought. “I don’t really feel like putting up with everyone’s condolences right now, but I know that if I don’t do it now, it’ll just happen later and I can’t afford to hide in my quarters all month.”
Jessica and Keith paused in front of them. “Thank you for what you did for Jaelyn-kun and the babies,” Jessica told him, her voice sad. “We’d like you to come over for dinner.”
“Okay,” Rodney replied with a slight nod. “I’ll be there.” To Kelly, he said, “Let’s go into the encampment. I think it’ll be better if I face whatever sympathy I’m going to get and get it over with. And it’ll be good to see Kevin again.”
Kevin greeted them warmly when they arrived at the Morykons’ tent. “I’m saddened to hear of your loss, Rodney. I could tell you felt deeply for her and were looking forward to your life together.”
“Thank you, Kevin,” Rodney replied sincerely. “Your words are appreciated. I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”
They talked until Rodney had to leave for dinner with Jaelyn’s family.
“I’ll come with you,” Kelly said as he stood with Rodney.
“Stay,” Rodney replied, trying to wave him back down. “I can find my way back perfectly fine and this will give you both a chance to catch up before Natalia decides to play den mother and kick you out.”
“She’s actually not here right now,” Kevin replied. “She’s been helping another people with portable dialers for the Ring. She’s hoping to come later this month, though.”
“It would be good to see her again, if she does,” Kelly replied. “What would keep her away, though?”
“The people she’s helping have a way to help us establish a more reliable harvest cycle and we’re hoping to have that finished this month as well, even if this cycle’s harvest is too late to save.”
“Did she say who these people were?” Rodney asked, his interest piqued.
Kevin shook his head. “Only that they spoke the common language of the majority and are very gracious hosts. I think it is because, like so many planets, they know the Wraith and are careful of giving out too much information. You never know who might be a Worshipper.” Both Rodney and Kevin made a disgusted expression. “You better go, Rodney. I don’t want you being late for your dinner.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Rodney asked expectantly.
“Tomorrow,” Kevin replied with a nod and a smile. “I will like that very much.”
When Rodney arrived at Jaelyn’s family’s quarters, he was greeted by the sad faces of her family.
“We wanted to thank you again for what you did for Jaelyn and the babies,” Keith said. “We couldn’t have gotten a better son.”
“And we wanted you to have these things,” Jessica said, pointing to the neatly stacked pile of items Jaelyn had been collecting for the wedding.
“What am I supposed to do with them?” Rodney asked, confusion evident in his voice.
“That is up to you,” Keith replied. “We won’t be offended whichever way you decide.”
“Okay, um….” Rodney tried to think as quickly as possible. “I’d like you all to have something, if you want it. Or, you know, a couple somethings. Feel free to take what you want.”
They all looked at him dubiously until Jennifer carefully picked out a couple of Jaelyn’s new dresses and Rodney gave her a small smile. Reassured that he meant what he said, the rest of the family each picked out a couple of things. When they had finished, they ate dinner in silence before helping Rodney carry the rest of the items to his quarters. Jillian and Kirby came out and helped them put things away. As everything was neatly stacked, Rodney made a mental inventory of what he had and started divvying it up to people he knew could use it.
Once Jaelyn’s family had left, he pulled out two blankets and two stools and said, “I want you both to have these.”
“We can’t take them, Rodney-kun,” Jillian replied.
“Please take them,” he replied. “I *want* you to have them. You’ve both been so generous to me.”
“Thank you, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied, graciously taking the items Rodney offered him. Rodney could tell, though, that he was a bit uneasy about it as well. After he put the items away, Kirby said, “During the festival, mourning practices are suspended, so we’ll start once it’s over.”
“Okay,” Rodney replied. “If there’s something else you’d rather have, Jillian-kun, I’ll gladly give it to you.”
“Let me think about it,” she replied, looking relieved. “It just feels odd to be taking something that was supposed to be part of a happy event for you.”
Rodney put the other stool and blanket away. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll make me happy if something I have can make you happy and be put to good use.”
After Jillian left with Jasmine to visit friends in the encampment, Kirby patted the stool next to his and said, “Rodney-kun, I need to talk to you about Jaelyn.”
“What about her?” Rodney asked apprehensively as he sat down next to Kirby, wondering what would cause him to be so serious about someone recently deceased.
“This wasn’t to be Jaelyn’s first marriage – or her first miscarriage.” Kirby continued through Rodney’s sharp intake of breath and raised eyebrows. “She was married before – a few cycles ago – but the Korsans took her husband. She was barely pregnant at the time – just enough that we knew for certain she was – but she miscarried after he was taken. We all assumed then that it was the grief that caused the pregnancy to end since they were very much in love, and maybe it’s still true, but maybe her body just wasn’t made to have children as much as she wanted them.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Rodney asked, feeling very much out of his depth.
“I’m telling you because I don’t want you carrying guilt over her death. If this hadn’t happened now, it would have happened after you were married. And I hope it will help you understand Jillian’s behavior these past few months. She was afraid that Jaelyn would hurt you in trying to get what she wanted – another child.”
“Then why –?” Rodney looked at him confused for a moment. “Why didn’t Jillian come out and say it, especially after everything came out?”
“I don’t know,” Kirby replied. “I can only guess that when she heard that the wedding was still on, she figured that you would be okay.”
Kelly called to them from the other side of the curtain and Kirby invited him in. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Kelly said.
“Not at all,” Kirby replied. “We’re finished here. Go on, Rodney-kun, have a good time.” He smiled at the two men.
“Thanks for telling me, Kirby. Would you mind helping me out, Kelly?” Rodney asked Kelly as he stood.
“Sure, what do you need to do?” Kelly asked.
“Jessica and Keith gave me the things Jaelyn had acquired for the wedding and I want to take some things to people who I think could use them.”
“No problem. Give me some things and let’s get going.”
Trying to track down the people on his list took Rodney more time than he thought, but it helped him find a new balance with his life and let him slowly get used to the idea that Jaelyn really was gone. It also cemented his desire to stay single for the rest of his life. He found he was happy to be able to do his own thing and not have to worry about someone else in such an intimate way.
“Why would you want to do that?” Kelly asked when Rodney told him near the end of the festival. “I’m sure we could find someone else for you, if you’re worried that we wouldn’t be able to.”
“It’s not that,” Rodney replied as they made their way through the crowd to the Morykons’ tent. “I just don’t think I could stand losing someone else again. And I’m happy being by myself.”
Kelly shook his head as they reached their tent. “I don’t get you, Rodney-chan. And I promise not to tell you I told you so when you change your mind.” He called into the tent and Kevin appeared a moment later.
“Hi,” Kevin replied, stepping outside. “I was told to tell you two that you should go back to your borough.”
“For what?” Kelly asked, eyebrows knitting together.
“I don’t know,” Kevin replied. “Natalia’s here and she stuck her head in to tell us to pass on the message if Rodney stopped by, but that was it before she left again.”
Kelly and Rodney looked at each other and shrugged. “Thanks, Kevin,” Kelly replied. “We’ll be back later.”
“I hope everything’s okay,” Rodney said as they headed to the village.
“I’m sure it will be,” Kelly replied. “If it wasn’t, I think they would have sent someone looking for us,” he said as they entered their borough and the conversation immediately stopped.
“What’s goi–?” Rodney asked, immediately stopping. He stared at the newcomers in dumbfounded silence, gaping at them. He was vaguely aware of Kelly looking back and forth between them and Kirby asking him something, but Rodney could only stare at John, Teyla, and Ronon, who were looking back at him in shock. “What the –? What the hell are you three doing here?”
“Who are they, Rodney-chan?” Kelly asked him nervously.
“They’re my –,” Rodney swallowed before continuing. “They’re my teammates. The ones I told you about. The woman is Teyla, the big guy is Ronon and the guy with the impossible hair is Col. John Sheppard.” Turning his attention back to them, he repeated, “What are you doing here?”
Rodney could see that while Ronon seemed to have recovered, there was surprise still in Teyla’s eyes and John’s frown deepened and he opened his mouth as Rodney’s brain clicked into gear and he realized that they couldn’t understand him.
His brain scrambled for a second before he repeated, “What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? We’re here to take you home,” John managed to say as he took a cautious step forward.
“It is good to see you again, Rodney,” Teyla said as she came forward with a warm smile, easily passing John, putting her hands on his shoulders and tilting her head down slightly.
“It’s, uh, good to see you again too, Teyla,” Rodney replied, mirroring her actions before putting both of his hands on her cheeks. He could feel the expectant air around them ease a bit at the sight of the familiar gesture.
Ronon was next, sweeping him into a fierce hug. Rodney was afraid they wouldn’t be able to pry Ronon off of him before some real damage was done. “I’m glad we found you, buddy,” he told Rodney gruffly.
“Need air here,” Rodney said, patting Ronon on the shoulder and Ronon released him with a goofy grin.
Rodney eyed John warily. “Well, then,” he said, hesitantly.
“It’s good to see you, Rodney,” John said.
“It’s good to see you too,” Rodney replied as he closed the distance between them and cupped John’s face with his hands. John looked surprised, but didn’t pull away, and after a moment, he mirrored the act.
When Rodney and John stepped away from each other, Kirby said, “Rodney-kun, Natalia was just about to explain to us who are new guests are. Perhaps you would like to do it for her?”
Rodney ducked his head before replying, “These are my teammates from my native home.” He gestured to each of them as he said, “This is John Sheppard, Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagen. I can’t say why they’re here, though. Natalia will have to explain that one to you.”
“They came to see about making alliances with the tribes here,” Natalia replied, “and to see about taking you home.”
“I’ll see you later, Rodney-chan,” Kelly said.
“Okay,” Rodney replied, barely taking his eyes off his teammates. “I’ll introduce you properly later.”
“Why don’t you go into our quarters, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said as Kelly left. “I’ll make sure you have some uninterrupted time to get reacquainted.”
“Thank you, Kirby,” Rodney replied. “Come on,” he said to Ronon, John, and Teyla as he went into his quarters.
Looking around as Rodney pulled out stools, John said, “Well, this is cozy.”
“It’s got its own sort of charm,” Rodney replied. “I live here with Kirby and his daughter, Jillian.” After taking their gear and stowing it at the end of his cot, Rodney said, “Please, sit,” as he took off his robe and traded his boots for moccasins. “Can I get you something to drink or something to eat?”
“Nah, we’re good,” John replied as they sat.
Rodney sat down on his cot and saw they were examining him. He wondered how he looked to them. He knew he was leaner – any excess fat has been burned off long ago and his hair was shaggier and a little longer than any of them, himself included, were used to. And it was probably a little odd to see him sitting still and not babbling away or messing with something. For his part, he could see that they hadn’t changed much in the past four cycles, aside from Ronon having a new tattoo on his left forearm.
Teyla was the first to break the silence. “You look well, Rodney.”
“I’ve been gone for four cycles and that’s the best you can come up with?” he asked in disbelief. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before amending, “Sorry. That was out of line.”
“That tunnel’s pretty cool,” Ronon replied with a grin.
“It is pretty ingenious,” Rodney agreed with a smile of his own.
“If you had access to the ‘Gate, why didn’t you come home?” John asked.
“No ‘Gate dialer,” Rodney replied. “It’s not like everyone here has one. Most have never been off the planet. And it’s not like I didn’t try,” he added huffily.
“Well, we’re here to take you home now,” John told him.
“I don’t know if I want to go back to Atlantis,” Rodney replied, crossing his arms.
“Why not?” John asked in alarm.
“Maybe I like it here. Maybe I like it better here than Atlantis. Maybe I like not having to perform life or death miracles.”
“We are not forcing you to come back, Rodney,” Teyla replied as she gave John a stern look. “We are merely letting you know the option is there. We will be here until the end of the festival – whichever way you decide.”
“Are you, uh, staying with the Morykons?” Rodney asked, letting the anger at John’s assumption leave him.
“We are,” Teyla replied. “Kirby was here when we came in from the tunnel and Natalia wanted to introduce us first before continuing on.”
“You should stay a night or two here. I know no one would mind.” Rodney turned when he heard voices outside were getting closer and one was excited.
“What’s going on?” Ronon asked, looking a little uneasy and on the ready.
“It’s, uh, Jillian. She wants to meet you three and Kirby’s trying to convince her to give us a little more time first.”
“It’s not like we’re meeting you for the first time,” John replied with a roll of his eyes. “We’ve already met Kirby, so why don’t we meet her now and get it out of the way?”
“Okay,” Rodney replied, getting up. He went to the entry and stuck his head out. “It’s okay,” he told them. “They want to meet her too.”
Jillian’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Really,” Rodney replied with a smile and moved aside so she could enter. He led her over to where they were sitting. “This is John, Teyla, and Ronon – my team,” he told her as he pointed them out and she gave them each a slight bow.
“I remember you talking about them,” Jillian replied, looking at him with concern. “Does this mean you’re going back with them?”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied. “It’s something I’ll have to think about.”
Jillian nodded and said, “Invite them for dinner.” Rodney complied and passed on the invitation.
“That’s very kind,” Teyla replied, “but we don’t want to put you out. Tell her we’ll take a rain check for a day when she’s had time to plan.”
Rodney relayed the message, but Jillian was adamant that they would stay for dinner that night. “I guess she wants to make sure you have a home-cooked meal your first night here,” Rodney told them with a wry smile. “Let’s get your things over to the Morykons’ tent while she’s starting dinner.”
Ronon, Teyla, and John stood and Rodney handed each of them their gear. Once they were ready, he led them out of the tent and into the sunlight. They paused for a moment to let their eyes adjust to the brighter light and John reflexively put on his sunglasses.
“Lot of people,” Ronon commented as they started walking again.
“There are,” Rodney agreed. “But this is the big business event of the cycle for everyone, so there’s always a good turnout. And I’m assuming that Elizabeth wants you to see if you can do business with anyone.”
“That was the idea,” John drawled as he looked around.
Even with the shades on and four cycles between them, Rodney knew the look he was using – John was checking for threats. Rodney knew it wasn’t anything personal, but he felt like telling him that no one here was a *serious* threat – never had been, never would be.
They wound through the encampment with Rodney leading the way and occasionally greeting people and making quick appointments.
“You’re popular,” John commented when they reached the Morykons’ tent.
“It sounds like you’re surprised,” Rodney commented before calling into the tent.
Natalia and Kevin greeted them and helped stow their things. Once that was done, Rodney made the formal introduction between them and Kevin, who seemed pleased to meet them. They were quiet on the way back and through dinner – which Rodney was going to consider a miracle for the amount of food Jillian had whipped up in such a short time.
Rodney had hoped to talk to them after dinner, but after they had finished, John yawned loudly.
“I’m sorry,” John said sheepishly. “I didn’t sleep last night.”
On his way back home from taking them to the Morykons’ tent, Rodney wasn’t sure what to think. Part of him wanted to say that having them show up now was his mind’s way of trying to cope with the loss of Jaelyn and the babies. But if that were the case, Ronon wouldn’t have a new tattoo and John wouldn’t look so haunted and tired.
Rodney admitted that he had wanted to see them for so long that, now that he had the chance, he didn’t know what he wanted to do or say to them. And he definitely didn’t know if he wanted to go back. He would admit that it would be good for closure, but what if they didn’t let him come back?
“You look troubled, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said when Rodney reentered their quarters. “I would think that your friends being here would be a cause for celebration”
“It is,” Rodney replied as he sat down with a sigh. “They want me to go back with them.”
“Do you want to?”
“I honestly don’t know. I had always assumed that if I got the chance to I would, I guess. But now that they’re here….” He trailed off.
“I think you should. That way you can finally put those questions and feelings to rest and move forward. You will always be welcomed back.”
“If they let me,” Rodney muttered. “But what about you?” he asked.
Kirby shrugged. “I’ll find someone else. It’s not like sudden vacancies are a new thing here, Rodney-kun. And Laura will as well. It’s been a fact of life for us for a long time.”
“What about Jaelyn’s family? Don’t I have an obligation to them?”
“No, you don’t. You fulfilled your end of the punishment, the marriage didn’t happen and, ultimately, you didn’t have any children.” Seeing that Rodney was about to protest, Kirby continued, “You’ve seen what happens here when someone dies. It’s not any one person’s or family’s responsibility to make sure the remaining family members are provided for. Everyone chips in to help them out.” He stood. “Get some rest and try to clear your head. The next few days will be tough for you. I know you’ll make the right decision.”
“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied as he laid down on his cot and let out a deep breath, closing his eyes to concentrate.
He felt like he had back at the beginning – adrift and unsure, wishing his wasn’t in this position, and, this time, wishing he didn’t care so much for both sides. When he shifted and rolled over, he found Jillian making breakfast.
“Good morning, sleepy-head,” she said with a smile.
Rodney quickly got up, changed, and went through his morning ablutions. “You should’ve woken me,” he hissed. “They’ll be here any minute.”
“You’ll be fine,” she said, unconcerned. Hearing foreign accents outside as he finished, she said, “See, just in time.”
“Very funny,” Rodney replied dryly. He went to let them in. “Good morning,” he told them as they entered and they responded in kind. “I hope you all slept well.”
“Very well,” John replied as they sat around the fire pit. “The Morykons seem to enjoy traveling in style. It’s quite different from they way they live at home.”
As they talked and ate, Rodney was reminded of how much he had come to care for these three, as well as the people back on Atlantis and that, regardless of where he ended up, he needed to go back to Atlantis and say a proper good-bye to everyone there. He just hoped that Kelly would understand.
Near the end of breakfast, Kelly hailed them from outside and Jillian waved Rodney to stay seated while she let him in. Seeing the crowd, Kelly said, “I’ll come back later.”
“No, stay,” Rodney replied. “I want you to meet everyone anyway. These are my best friends in Atlantis – John, Teyla, and Ronon,” he said, pointing each of them out. “This is my bound friend, Kelly,” he told them.
“Bound friend?” John asked, gaze shifting to Kelly and then back to Rodney. “Sounds a little… hinky.”
“It’s like a best friend, but deeper,” Rodney replied. “He’s kept me from going crazy more than once.”
Looking at his watch, John said, “I hate to eat and run, but we have an agreement with Natalia to make some contacts with the other groups here and she wanted to get started early. Did you want to come with us?”
“I need to talk to Kelly first, then I’ll see if I can find you,” Rodney replied, feeling a tiny sting, but pushing it away.
The Lanteans nodded and stood, had Rodney relay a ‘thanks’ to Jillian – who had stepped out, and headed out.
“What’s going on?” Kelly asked, looking confused and sitting down next to Rodney.
“Natalia’s introducing them to some of the other groups,” Rodney replied. “I need to tell you something, though. They’ve asked me to go back with them and I think I’m going to.”
“Good for you,” Kelly replied. “I know you’ve wanted that for a long time.”
“The thing is,” Rodney added, looking down at his hands, “I don’t know if I want to stay there. I love it here and I don’t want to leave all of you.”
“Don’t worry about us, Rodney-chan. We’re a resilient bunch – just like you. You need to do this. You’ve always said you wanted to make a clean break from them. Now’s your chance to do so. Or, if you place is with them, that’s how it will end up.”
Rodney looked at Kelly for a long moment, torn between going through with his decision and changing his mind. The decision to go back to Atlantis slowly won out. Impulsively, he leaned over and hugged Kelly tightly. “You’ve been a better friend than I’ve ever had,” he told the shocked Kelly as he pulled away. “I hope we’ll be able to see each other again.”
“I have a feeling we will,” Kelly replied with a smile. Touching his heart, he said, “I can feel it in here.”
“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied, wondering what being back in Atlantis would be like after four cycles away.
Continue in Part 21
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Date: 2008-12-18 11:28 pm (UTC)I love it, Even if I told you more than once!
Yay! Team is together again!
Am I the only one commenting here, or they are all waiting for the end before doing the impressions on the fic?
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Date: 2008-12-19 04:01 am (UTC)So far you're the only one, but I know that there are a lot of people who do it all at the end. (But don't let this stop you!)