SGA fic: Gaijin Part 15/40
Dec. 15th, 2008 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sam_gamgeeGaijin, Part 15/40
The complete header can be found in part 1.
Previous parts can be found here.
“See, this is the time when I would normally ask why the hell I’d need to spend the day in silence and meditation, since I’m the one that’s going to be auctioned off, not the one doing the bidding. But I’ll comply and not question it.”
Kirby laughed. “I think that is why you have flourished here, Rodney-kun. You’ve been able to adapt to your surroundings and, in doing so, you are thriving – much like the silkworms you work with. Who would have guessed that this place would be a place they could do so well in?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “So, tomorrow will be a day of silence and meditation. And will I have to do any ritual bathing as well?”
Kirby nodded as he replied, “Yes, both in the morning as soon as you wake and then again at night right before you go to bed.” As Jillian and Jasmine entered from spending the day among the encampment, Kirby stood and retrieve something from the trunk at the foot of his cot. “I do have one more order of interest that I was waiting until Jillian returned to take care of.”
Jillian looked at him questioningly as she and Jasmine broke off their conversation. Jillian sat down on the floor next to Rodney in front of Kirby’s cot and Jasmine quietly excused herself from their quarters.
Looking directly at Rodney, Kirby said, “Since you came to us, Rodney-kun, you have done very well in adapting to circumstances that I gather are much different from the ones you left, as night is different from day. And I am very proud of the way you’ve applied yourself to that task and, as I said a moment ago, have been thriving here. You also, even though you did not know it, have helped Jillian and I by filling the role of son and brother. And last, but certainly not least, you have taken on the role of my apprentice, thereby making sure our people will have guidance and good health into the next generations.” He paused to take a deep breath. “I have spoken with our elders and you are, from now on, to be considered a native son of Lapras, as well as a member of this family. And they have also officially recognized you as my heir apparent.”
Rodney gaped at Kirby, not sure how to process what he had just said. “Are you – really?” he finally managed, looking dumbfounded.
“Really,” Kirby replied with a small smile. “And I have this for you as well.” He handed Rodney the item he had been holding.
Rodney slowly unwound the tan object to have it reveal a suede messenger bag much like Kirby’s that had been tooled around the edge of the flap with what looked like an approximation of Ancient writing. Rodney traced the lettering, slowly making out what looked like the beginning of the Hippocratic Oath. Rodney chuckled and shook his head, amused.
“You’re not happy with it?” Kirby asked, looking concerned. “I had asked Kelly to design it for you, figuring that, as your bound friend he would be better suited to giving it a more personal meaning.”
“No, I love it,” Rodney replied, continuing to stroke the lettering. “These lines here,” he outlined them with his finger, “are Ancient – a language I used back in Atlantis – and they loosely translate to say, ‘First, do no harm’. Among my native people – my first native people,” he glanced at both Kirby and Jillian, “it is the beginning of an oath taken by people who learn medicine. It’s a promise to seek to preserve life.” His breath hitched as he continued, “I was just surprised by it, but I guess I shouldn’t be, since I know Kelly heard me say it enough times when I was first learning everything. This – all of it – means a lot to me.”
Kirby smiled and relaxed. “Then I am glad Kelly was able to find a way to honor both your old and new lives.”
Jillian grinned and clapped a couple times. “I’m so happy for you, Rodney-kun,” she said. “I’ve been hoping since you first came to us that you would become a part of our family.”
Rodney laughed. “I’m glad I was able to do that for you.”
Laura hailed Rodney from the commons area and he put down his bag and went to answer her. “What can I do for you?” he asked. “And isn’t it a little late for you to be out?”
“I’m a grown woman, Rodney. And my husband knows where I sleep at night,” Laura replied with a laugh. She pulled an item out of her satchel. “I have a gift for you, on behalf of the silk guild.”
Rodney opened the fabric and held it up to find it was a sleeveless sky blue shirt with a mandarin collar. He recognized Laura’s weaving style in it. “Wow, thank you,” he said, feeling slightly overwhelmed as he gently stroked the fabric with his thumbs. “This is… thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied with an amused smile. “You deserve at least this for what you did for all of us at the last festival against the Korsans. And you have no idea how excited we all are that one of us has been chosen to take part in the auction. I’ll leave you to begin your preparations for the auction.”
“Thank you again,” Rodney replied earnestly.
“Good night, Rodney,” Laura replied with a laugh as she left.
“Good night, Laura,” Rodney replied, watching her leave the borough before going back into his quarters. Into his family’s quarters, his mind amended, and for a moment he was bowled over by that fact.
“What happened?” Jillian asked.
“Laura came by to give me a gift on behalf of the silk guild,” Rodney replied, showing them the shirt. “In honor of being in the auction and for my ‘brilliant plan’ to have everyone do what they should have done a long time ago – fight back against the Korsans.”
“Wow, that’s amazing,” Jillian replied, fingering the hem of the shirt.
“Okay, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said. “It’s time for you to get some sleep and start preparing for the auction.”
Rodney looked at him mulishly. “Don’t think that just because I’m now part of the family, I’m actually going to start obeying you at the drop of a hat.”
“You mean like you already have been?” Jillian replied mock-innocently.
Rodney swatted her with the shirt as he smiled. “And that goes especially for you,” he replied as he made his way to his cot, stopping to pick up his bag on the way. He carefully laid them out on top of his trunk and gently ran his fingers over each of them before going to get ready for bed, still amazed at what these people had done for him and thinking that, just maybe, they were right and he really was home.
The next morning, Rodney rose quietly before either Jillian or Kirby was awake – which surprised him, since they were normally up before him, even after all this time. He carefully gathered a clean outfit and his bathing accoutrements out of his trunk and headed down to the bathing pool.
Slipping into the warm water, Rodney let out a small sigh as he felt himself relax. He took a moment to let his mind go blank before he began washing himself. He did his best to focus on the auction the next day and what his role in it would be, but he kept hitting a wall. He knew he would be a participant, but he didn’t know what to focus on in order to prepare himself for it. Eventually, he shrugged it off, knowing he was ready for anything that they could throw at him and that he’d make the other Laprans proud in how he conducted himself in the auction. When he had finished bathing thoroughly, he dressed as purposefully as he could, feeling himself settling into ready state of mind.
Rodney had expected to spend the day either in their quarters, or in the commons area, but Kirby had other ideas. Rodney made rounds with him as he went to check on those who had fallen ill while at the festival and to counsel those who were having problems and didn’t wish to talk to their own healer. Rodney quietly stayed in the background and was grateful that the other tribes seemed to understand, or at least recognize, what he was doing. They didn’t do anything that would put him into an uncomfortable position, instead, giving him reassuring smiles and good wishes for him at the auction.
At the end of the day, as Rodney got out of the bathing pool and dried himself off, he felt much calmer than he expected to – despite the slim chance that he might be taken off-world again. He was ready for whatever happened at the auction and was actually looking forward to it.
Jillian gave him a reassuring smile when he returned to their quarters and, as he was getting into bed, said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, Rodney-kun. Everything will be fine, I know it.”
Rodney simply nodded before turning over and going to sleep.
The encampment was quiet as they walked through it.
“Where is everyone?” Rodney asked, looking around at the deserted tents on either side.
“They’ve already gone to the auction site on the other side of the camp,” Kirby told him. “The auction inspections started at dawn.”
“Shouldn’t we have been there then, then?” Rodney asked glancing between Kirby, Kelly and Jillian, a little worried that they were doing something that would get them in trouble.
Kirby shook his head as he replied, “People aren’t auctioned off until the end. They start with products, then move on to livestock, then to people. Besides, it’s still early, so there’s nothing to worry about. The auction itself doesn’t start for a while yet.”
A buzz ahead of them continued to grow as they got closer and Rodney saw that everyone had gathered at the far edge of the camp. They were inspecting various goods, ranging from seeds and foodstuffs to technology, and livestock ranging from chickens to horses and cattle. The people – practically every tribe was represented – were being questioned a final time before the auction started.
Throughout the day, a number of the tribe’s representatives questioned Rodney for a final time and he couldn’t help but enjoy the questions, some of which reminded him of conversations he’d once had with John, only the cultural references were different.
The rest of the time, he remained quiet and enjoyed watching what was going on around him. The auction itself was easy enough to follow, since it operated like any auction he had ever seen. The only differences were the insults that the buyers were passing back and forth, and the heckling from the bystanders.
When it came time to auction the people, they were all lined up to one side of the platform. Rodney idly wondered if it was good or bad that he was third in line or if it just happened to be a random process. He avidly watched the two in front of him – a man and a woman – being auctioned; taking in the way they stood, how they didn’t take part in the heckling or insult-throwing that was never actually directed at them but seemed to enjoy it just the same, and how they seemed pleased with who they went to and the price they fetched – though Rodney was suddenly curious where that money went.
One of the attendants motioned him forward and Rodney mounted the platform, drawing himself up to his full height and looking out over the crowd with a confident expression on his face. The auctioneer called out a price and the bidding started. Rodney scanned the crowd and picked out familiar faces as the bidding and heckling went back and forth between the bidding tribes. Rodney was surprised how many people he was able to pick out and name and that he knew a few things about each of them. Before he knew it, he was being ushered off the other side of the platform and over to one of the men who had been taking care of recording all of the auctions and writing up the contracts between the winners and the people being auctioned.
“Congratulations,” the man said to Rodney. “So far you’ve gotten the highest bid of the day.”
“Uh… good?” Rodney replied expectantly as a man and woman came up to the table.
“Now we can begin the negotiations,” the man behind the table replied as he pulled out a clean sheet of paper and prepared his pen. “Rodney of Lapras, this is Dar’eem,” he pointed to the man, “and Dar’an,” he pointed to the woman, “of Darshan. They won your services in the auction.”
Rodney bowed to both of them and they returned the bow. “Can I ask how much you paid?” Rodney asked.
“Two silver talents,” the bookkeeper, as Rodney decided to call him, replied distractedly as he began writing up their transaction. “Your services appear to be in large demand, Rodney.”
“What exactly was I offered for?” Rodney asked, his eyes narrowing.
“To give security advice and help with Ancient technology,” Dar’eem replied. “Seeing as how we have a standing army, we have no issues with our security.”
“But we recently found a cache of Ancient technology and would like help with it,” Dar’an smoothly finished.
“Now, to the terms of your agreement,” the bookkeeper said. “The length of time will be for one cycle, until the next auction. Once the account has been settled at that time, you will be free to continue your business however you see fit or break it off completely. Until then, this contract you are about to agree to will be binding.”
“And what happens if the contract is broken?” Rodney asked, curious.
“It depends on who violated it and how,” the bookkeeper replied, looking up at Rodney placidly. “But either restitution or an extension of the contract will be decided upon. Now, the purpose of this contract is to lay out very specifically what the Darshans expect of you and how they would like to use your services, as well as what you expect from them in return for the use of your services.”
Rodney was surprised at how willing Dar’eem and Dar’an were to haggle about the terms of the contract, as well as how taken aback they were when he accepted a lower compensation than they first gave him. When he saw how frustrated they were getting with him, Rodney said, “I’m sorry. I’m not used to doing this, plus I don’t know your customs in this sort of thing. It’s just that I don’t really need anything for myself.”
“Thank you for your honesty,” Dar’an replied. “We’re willing to give you things for your family or friends. We didn’t intend to give the impression that this all had to be for you specifically and solely.”
After that, the negotiations went more smoothly. They would give Rodney a few items at a time and he would figure out if they worked and what they did. In exchange, they would give him some darchnan plants, which Rodney knew Kirby would be happy to have easy access to, new dishware for both himself and Jaelyn, as well as Jillian, and – once Dar’eem and Dar’an heard he was getting married soon – an almost endless supply of little things that he and Jaelyn would need to start their life together that they wouldn’t be able to get on Lapras.
“I do have one caveat before we finish,” Rodney mentioned before they finalized the deal. “The Laprans have no written language and I doubt you would be able to understand my native language.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Dar’eem replied. “We’ll give you a voice recorder and we’ll have someone transcribe the file after we’ve picked it up with the corresponding items.”
“We have also been authorized to give you the first batch of items as soon as you’re ready,” Dar’an said as the bookkeeper turned the page around for them all to sign and she took the pen and signed where indicated.
“I’m ready whenever you are,” Rodney replied as Dar’eem bent over to sign. After he signed, Rodney stared at his name for a moment and felt his stomach churn with a mix of indescribable feelings at seeing his own handwriting for the first time in so long and that it hadn’t felt odd to write “Rodney of Lapras” instead of “Dr. M. Rodney McKay, Ph.D.”
“How about we meet after dinner at the entrance to your village?” Dar’an asked.
“That works for me,” Rodney replied, glancing back over his shoulder and seeing the auction crowd was breaking up as people headed back to their homes for dinner. “I’ll meet you there then.” The three of them bowed to each other and went their separate ways.
When he got back to his quarters, both Kirby and Jillian greeted him with a grin. “What?” he asked, suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.
“We’re very proud of you,” Kirby replied. “Not many people have ever gotten a two talent bid at the auction.”
“And where exactly does that money go?” Rodney asked. “It’s not exactly like we use it here.”
“Part of it goes to the auctioneers as a fee for their services and the rest will come to you to be used in case you have to go to the other world in the course of your service to them. I’m sure you’ll do a great job for the Darshans. They’re a good people – easy to get along with and very fair in their business proceedings.”
“What did you get in return for your services?” Jillian asked.
“Well, I got some darchnan plants for Kirby and I. I got some dishware for Jaelyn and I, as well as you, Jillian. And they’re also going to provide Jaelyn and I with a lot of the little things we’ll need for our wedding that we can’t make here.”
“That sounds very reasonable,” Kirby replied, “and I’ll be grateful for access to the plants.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything, though,” Jillian replied. “We’ve already been through this.”
“I know I didn’t have to. But I wanted to get you something for all you’ve done for me. Plus, if it’s any consolation, the Darshans were practically forcing me to take things and, since I didn’t really want anything, I figured I could get you and Kirby some things instead. And the wedding stuff was a bit of an accident because I let it slip.”
“We are grateful that you decided to share your wealth with us, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a gracious smile and Rodney could tell by his tone that that was meant to be the end of the discussion. “Now, we’ll need to discuss how much work they’ve given you and what sort of time frame they’re looking at for getting things back, so you can figure out a way to include everything in your day.”
Rodney nodded. “They’ll be by later to drop off the first batch so I’m sure we can figure something out.”
After discussing the terms of Rodney’s contract with the Darshans, it was decided that he and Kirby could easily accommodate the extra work into his schedule with out much of a change to their current schedule.
When the Darshans arrived with Rodney’s first workload, he took the satchel of items from Dar’an and said, “Please, come back to my quarters. It’ll be more comfortable there and you can fill me in on what you know about the items.”
The pair hesitated for a moment before agreeing and, for that moment, Rodney hoped he hadn’t greatly overstepped any boundaries. But they relaxed once they were inside Rodney’s quarters and were seated on Rodney and Jillian’s stools after Kirby and Jillian both excused themselves.
“Would either of you like anything to eat or drink?” he asked, wanting to make sure they were both comfortable.
“No, thank you,” Dar’an replied. “We ate before we came.”
“I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries,” Rodney said as he knelt and opened the bag and began laying out various items.
“It’s all right,” Dar’eem replied. “We simply aren’t used to it.”
Rodney’s fingers lingered on each of the pieces, simply soaking in their shape and texture, relishing their untapped potential.
“You look like you’re with a lover,” Dar’an said with an amused tone.
“I haven’t seen items like these in a very long time,” Rodney replied, visually taking in each of the items. “Before I came to the Laprans, I daily used equipment made by the people that made these. Seeing them brings back memories.”
“And how long have you been with the Laprans?” Dar’an asked, intrigued.
“Three cycles,” Rodney replied, looking up at her, his hand hovering over one of the items that he was about to pick up. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious,” she replied. “You speak the language very well.”
“And you act very much like a Lapran,” Dar’eem added. “If you hadn’t said something, I doubt we would have known you weren’t a natural Lapran.”
Rodney pulled the conversation back on track and they went through the items. As Rodney figured, what they knew about what they had wasn’t much. But he did feel better once they had finished, since he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be blowing up anyone or anything accidentally. And the fact that there were others out there who had the ATA gene and access to Ancient technology, even if they didn’t know how to use it due to the constant cullings and disruptions to their culture, sent a hopeful thrill through Rodney.
After they left, Rodney sat down next to the Ancient tech and just stared at it, feeling both completely overwhelmed and extremely excited at the same time. After staring at everything for a long time, he picked up the voice recorder and made his first entry, entitled, “Ancient Technology and You: How to Safely Use What Your Ancestors Left Behind When You’re Not Sure What It Is”. He didn’t want to be blamed for anyone else’s stupidity if he could help it. Then he picked up a piece of technology at random that looked like a slightly larger version of the life signs detector and started examining it, making notes on the recorder of his findings and what did and didn’t work as he went along.
When Jillian returned late that evening, she had to forcefully take the new-and-improved life signs detector out of Rodney’s hands and, in no uncertain terms, force him to eat something. She was also very firm when she told him that she wouldn’t watch over him to make sure he ate and slept, regardless of how interesting the technology was, and Rodney had to promise her that he would take care of himself before she let him have the life signs detector back.
“When did you get to be so evil?” Rodney asked as she set aside some food for Kirby and began cleaning up.
“That’s assuming I wasn’t before,” she replied. “Maybe you just didn’t notice.”
“Oh, I think I would have noticed,” he commented as he tapped the screen to go back a few pages so he could reread it again.
“What are you working on?” she asked, sitting down next to him.
“It’s called a life signs detector. It can tell who is in it’s vicinity and they’ll pop up on the screen as dots. One improvement it has over the ones I’m used to using is that this is sentient and can tell the different people in the vicinity apart – which is very helpful if you’re trying to figure out if someone is good or bad.”
“That’s intriguing,” she replied, peering at the screen. “What’s this?” she asked, pointing at a cluster of dots.
“That’s us,” Rodney replied. “And this big mess over here is the encampment. If we were actually out there, it might be able to differentiate better.”
“I can see why you like this technology so much.” She yawned. “I should get some sleep; I have an early morning.”
For the next few days, Rodney only ventured into the encampment when absolutely necessary on business with either Laura or Kirby – or, in one case, when Kelly physically dragged him and used threats Rodney didn’t think he knew. Otherwise, he ensconced himself either in his quarters or in the commons with one of the Darshan’s pieces of Atlantean technology.
He had forgotten how much he had missed this – the simple discovery of what the items did and how they worked. On Atlantis, so often he had either two options – push the research aside to pull a death-defying save out of his ass or learn how something worked as quickly as possible in case it was potentially dangerous because it wasn’t a good idea to have it lying around for one of the morons to accidentally activate it.
But having a more relaxed pace in which to play around and check all possible tangents was invigorating and it reminded Rodney why he had fallen in love with science all those years ago. It had its own rhythm and music that called to him and pulled him in until he felt like he was drowning in it, much as he had every time he had listened to Mozart’s piano concertos as a child.
And, true to her word, Jillian didn’t force him to eat or make him go to bed, which lead to a couple of sleepless nights and near-hypoglycemic shock – each of which was followed by a stern lecture by Kirby on the necessities of watching out for himself, which Rodney couldn’t help but think sounded too much like Carson’s lectures minus the Scottish brogue.
“I don’t know, Jaelyn. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Rodney heard Jennifer tell her at the end of the festival. He stopped in his tracks and, as an afterthought, moved to the side of the pathway between the caves. Going to the practice cave for some private practice suddenly seemed like a bad idea.
“Granted, it’s not the *best* idea, but it’s better than anything else we’ve been able to think of,” Jaelyn replied with a sigh. “Besides, he seems to respect honesty greatly. I think I should just tell him that I really only want him so I can have a baby. I think it’s best that that’s out in the open before the wedding. I do care for him – just not as a woman should love her husband.”
Rodney felt his jaw drop and his brain stutter to a stop. That was just…. He couldn’t think of the right thing to describe what that was.
“And while he doesn’t talk about it much,” Jaelyn continued, “it seems like his people are much more relaxed about conception, so I’m sure that it won’t be too hard to do it without having to go through the rest of the courtship and the wedding.”
Rodney heard them getting out of the pool and he quickly turned and headed back up to the surface, hoping he hadn’t alerted them to his presence. His mind was swirling and he didn’t know what to think or how to act or anything, really.
He wanted to talk to Kelly about it, but didn’t know how that would fare, regardless of their bound friend status. Even among close friends, sex was just one of those things that wasn’t normally talked about in casual conversation. But this wasn’t normal – at least not for Rodney. But he guessed that he should have known their relationship was too good to be true.
“I thought you were going to get some private practice time in,” Kelly commented when he saw Rodney emerge from the tunnel.
“I was, but decided against it,” Rodney replied.
“Is everything okay?” Kelly asked, concern evident in his voice as he gave him a scrutinizing look.
“Yeah, nothing to worry about,” Rodney replied, waving him off. “And thank you again for the bag. It means a lot to me.”
“You can stop thanking me,” Kelly replied with a laugh. “I was happy to do it and I enjoyed the challenge. There aren’t many people around that know Ancient.”
Rodney rolled his eyes as he replied, “Tell me about it. Even among my people, not many did.”
Jaelyn and Jennifer emerged from the tunnel and Rodney turned to look at them. He was about to get their attention, but the intent look on Jaelyn’s face as they talked and their swift pace made him hesitate and they were back in their borough before Rodney could open his mouth.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” Kelly asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rodney replied. “I just have a few things on my mind.”
“Or one thing,” Kelly muttered. “Are you getting cold feet?”
“No,” Rodney replied sharply. He paused for a moment before continuing more gently, “I’m just worried that I’ll do something wrong.” ‘Like blurt out that I heard what Jaelyn and Jennifer where talking about and get myself into a shitload of trouble,’ he thought. Rodney sighed and said, “I’ll see you later. I have to go get some work done if I plan on being ready for the Darshans when they come to pick up their stuff.”
“Okay,” Kelly replied, looking mystified as Rodney headed back into the borough.
Rodney tinkered with a piece of Ancient technology the next morning, but couldn’t concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing. His gaze kept going to Jaelyn and Jennifer who were sitting across the commons area talking and giggling as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
After stabbing himself with the stylus for the fifth time, Rodney cursed under his breath and let his hands and the device fall to his lap. He cursed again as he tore his eyes from the women and clenched his hands around the gadget, willing himself to not throw it in exasperation. He wasn’t getting anywhere with his work and he had no idea how to broach the subject with Jaelyn.
While he had never thought of himself as the “get married and have kids” type, Rodney had slowly come to the realization that he wouldn’t necessarily be averse to it. But he didn’t want to do it this way. He had come to value the Laprans and the way they did things too much to be so cavalier in his relationship with Jaelyn, regardless of what she wanted. And he had decided a long time ago that if he did, in fact, have children, he would do everything in his power to stay with their mother and make it work with her. And he wanted to have a part in his offspring’s lives in a way his parents hadn’t.
Rodney sighed as he turned off the device and set it to the side. He took a deep breath and centered himself, focusing on his breathing. He felt himself calm down and his mind clear. He knew he needed to talk with Jaelyn – and sooner rather than later.
Rodney stood and walked resolutely across the commons area before he could talk himself out of it. He ducked into his quarters and donned his robe and boots. Jaelyn and Jennifer stopped talking looked up at him as he approached, confusion showing on both their faces at the grim expression he wore.
“I need to speak with you, Jaelyn,” Rodney said brusquely. “Alone.”
“Okay,” she replied a little nervously as she gave Jennifer a shrug before standing and disappearing into her quarters, returning shortly wearing her robe and boots. “What’s going on?” she asked as they headed out of the village and across the sand, away from both the village and the encampment.
Once they were on top of a nearby dune, Rodney turned to her and put his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not wanting his temper to get the best of him. “When were you planning on telling me?” he finally asked quietly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaelyn replied, still looking confused.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” Rodney lashed out. He took a moment to compose himself and Jaelyn didn’t offer any explanation. “I heard you and Jennifer talking yesterday,” he finally admitted.
“Oh, that,” she replied nonchalantly.
“‘Oh, that’?” Rodney repeated indignantly. “What do you mean, ‘oh, that’?”
Jaelyn shrugged as she sat down on the sand, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. “What do you want me to say? It’s true.”
“I just – I just thought,” Rodney sputtered then huffed in exasperation. “I thought that I actually meant something to you. All of me, not the parts of me that fit your plan to have a child.”
“You do mean something to me, Rodney-chan,” she replied softly. “I just can’t. Not the way you want me to.”
“How long have you known?” he asked. When she didn’t look at him and didn’t answer, he asked more forcefully, “How long?”
“A while.” She looked up at him, her expression sad. “I did try, Rodney-chan. I wanted – I *want* – to love you. You’re a very good man and I realize how lucky I am that we were a match. I just can’t love you the way I should.”
“Why not?” he asked as he did his best to keep the grief that had crept into his chest out of his voice. He dropped down into the sand next to her.
She shrugged sadly. “I don’t know. Believe me, it’s not you.”
Rodney let out a bark of a laugh as he wiped his hands over his face. At her startled look, he shook his head. “It’s a cultural thing,” he said, but didn’t elaborate.
“So, what do you think?” she asked after a quiet moment. “You help me have a baby and I’ll break up with you so you can find someone who will love you back the way you deserve. That way we both get what we want.”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied morosely as he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Won’t the break-up cause problems for us?”
“I don’t think so,” Jaelyn replied. “It’s happened before – not often, but it’s happened.”
“And what happens when they find out that you’re pregnant?”
Jaelyn grimaced. “It won’t be pretty – which is why I want to do it before the festival is over. That way, I can keep you out of it as much as possible. That’s happened before as well, even if it is incredibly rare. And if the mother doesn’t divulge the father’s name, she can’t be forced to do so and action can’t be taken.”
“And what makes you so sure this is the best way to do it?” Rodney asked, gently.
“Because I feel it in here.” She touched her chest over her heart. “Even against my better judgment and everything I know to be true and right, I want this. I want a baby more than anything and have for a long, long time. But I’ve never seen a husband in the picture.”
“Let me think about it, okay?” Rodney asked.
Jaelyn nodded mutely. “Take your time. I don’t want you to regret your decision – whatever it will be.”
Rodney scanned the sky without looking for anything in particular and stood. “We should get back inside or they’ll start looking for us.”
“I think I’m going to walk in the encampment for a while, if anyone asks,” Jaelyn replied as she stood.
“Okay,” Rodney replied before he watched her go, her posture making her look more tired and worn out than he knew she should be.
He sat back down on the sand with a thump and let out a huge sigh. He had no idea how to handle this. He knew that if he agreed and Jaelyn conceived, that things would get very hard for her. He knew how people looked at and talked about a couple of the older women who had been single mothers by choice and it wasn’t kind, even if there was a note of pity in their voices. He didn’t wish that for her.
But he did want her to be happy and he loved her enough that he was willing to let her go. And if this could make her happy, then maybe it was worth a shot. He could always hope that she didn’t conceive. He let out a puff of air as he ran his hands through his hair and then down over his face, wondering what he was getting himself into now.
Continue to Part 16
The complete header can be found in part 1.
Previous parts can be found here.
“See, this is the time when I would normally ask why the hell I’d need to spend the day in silence and meditation, since I’m the one that’s going to be auctioned off, not the one doing the bidding. But I’ll comply and not question it.”
Kirby laughed. “I think that is why you have flourished here, Rodney-kun. You’ve been able to adapt to your surroundings and, in doing so, you are thriving – much like the silkworms you work with. Who would have guessed that this place would be a place they could do so well in?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “So, tomorrow will be a day of silence and meditation. And will I have to do any ritual bathing as well?”
Kirby nodded as he replied, “Yes, both in the morning as soon as you wake and then again at night right before you go to bed.” As Jillian and Jasmine entered from spending the day among the encampment, Kirby stood and retrieve something from the trunk at the foot of his cot. “I do have one more order of interest that I was waiting until Jillian returned to take care of.”
Jillian looked at him questioningly as she and Jasmine broke off their conversation. Jillian sat down on the floor next to Rodney in front of Kirby’s cot and Jasmine quietly excused herself from their quarters.
Looking directly at Rodney, Kirby said, “Since you came to us, Rodney-kun, you have done very well in adapting to circumstances that I gather are much different from the ones you left, as night is different from day. And I am very proud of the way you’ve applied yourself to that task and, as I said a moment ago, have been thriving here. You also, even though you did not know it, have helped Jillian and I by filling the role of son and brother. And last, but certainly not least, you have taken on the role of my apprentice, thereby making sure our people will have guidance and good health into the next generations.” He paused to take a deep breath. “I have spoken with our elders and you are, from now on, to be considered a native son of Lapras, as well as a member of this family. And they have also officially recognized you as my heir apparent.”
Rodney gaped at Kirby, not sure how to process what he had just said. “Are you – really?” he finally managed, looking dumbfounded.
“Really,” Kirby replied with a small smile. “And I have this for you as well.” He handed Rodney the item he had been holding.
Rodney slowly unwound the tan object to have it reveal a suede messenger bag much like Kirby’s that had been tooled around the edge of the flap with what looked like an approximation of Ancient writing. Rodney traced the lettering, slowly making out what looked like the beginning of the Hippocratic Oath. Rodney chuckled and shook his head, amused.
“You’re not happy with it?” Kirby asked, looking concerned. “I had asked Kelly to design it for you, figuring that, as your bound friend he would be better suited to giving it a more personal meaning.”
“No, I love it,” Rodney replied, continuing to stroke the lettering. “These lines here,” he outlined them with his finger, “are Ancient – a language I used back in Atlantis – and they loosely translate to say, ‘First, do no harm’. Among my native people – my first native people,” he glanced at both Kirby and Jillian, “it is the beginning of an oath taken by people who learn medicine. It’s a promise to seek to preserve life.” His breath hitched as he continued, “I was just surprised by it, but I guess I shouldn’t be, since I know Kelly heard me say it enough times when I was first learning everything. This – all of it – means a lot to me.”
Kirby smiled and relaxed. “Then I am glad Kelly was able to find a way to honor both your old and new lives.”
Jillian grinned and clapped a couple times. “I’m so happy for you, Rodney-kun,” she said. “I’ve been hoping since you first came to us that you would become a part of our family.”
Rodney laughed. “I’m glad I was able to do that for you.”
Laura hailed Rodney from the commons area and he put down his bag and went to answer her. “What can I do for you?” he asked. “And isn’t it a little late for you to be out?”
“I’m a grown woman, Rodney. And my husband knows where I sleep at night,” Laura replied with a laugh. She pulled an item out of her satchel. “I have a gift for you, on behalf of the silk guild.”
Rodney opened the fabric and held it up to find it was a sleeveless sky blue shirt with a mandarin collar. He recognized Laura’s weaving style in it. “Wow, thank you,” he said, feeling slightly overwhelmed as he gently stroked the fabric with his thumbs. “This is… thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied with an amused smile. “You deserve at least this for what you did for all of us at the last festival against the Korsans. And you have no idea how excited we all are that one of us has been chosen to take part in the auction. I’ll leave you to begin your preparations for the auction.”
“Thank you again,” Rodney replied earnestly.
“Good night, Rodney,” Laura replied with a laugh as she left.
“Good night, Laura,” Rodney replied, watching her leave the borough before going back into his quarters. Into his family’s quarters, his mind amended, and for a moment he was bowled over by that fact.
“What happened?” Jillian asked.
“Laura came by to give me a gift on behalf of the silk guild,” Rodney replied, showing them the shirt. “In honor of being in the auction and for my ‘brilliant plan’ to have everyone do what they should have done a long time ago – fight back against the Korsans.”
“Wow, that’s amazing,” Jillian replied, fingering the hem of the shirt.
“Okay, Rodney-kun,” Kirby said. “It’s time for you to get some sleep and start preparing for the auction.”
Rodney looked at him mulishly. “Don’t think that just because I’m now part of the family, I’m actually going to start obeying you at the drop of a hat.”
“You mean like you already have been?” Jillian replied mock-innocently.
Rodney swatted her with the shirt as he smiled. “And that goes especially for you,” he replied as he made his way to his cot, stopping to pick up his bag on the way. He carefully laid them out on top of his trunk and gently ran his fingers over each of them before going to get ready for bed, still amazed at what these people had done for him and thinking that, just maybe, they were right and he really was home.
The next morning, Rodney rose quietly before either Jillian or Kirby was awake – which surprised him, since they were normally up before him, even after all this time. He carefully gathered a clean outfit and his bathing accoutrements out of his trunk and headed down to the bathing pool.
Slipping into the warm water, Rodney let out a small sigh as he felt himself relax. He took a moment to let his mind go blank before he began washing himself. He did his best to focus on the auction the next day and what his role in it would be, but he kept hitting a wall. He knew he would be a participant, but he didn’t know what to focus on in order to prepare himself for it. Eventually, he shrugged it off, knowing he was ready for anything that they could throw at him and that he’d make the other Laprans proud in how he conducted himself in the auction. When he had finished bathing thoroughly, he dressed as purposefully as he could, feeling himself settling into ready state of mind.
Rodney had expected to spend the day either in their quarters, or in the commons area, but Kirby had other ideas. Rodney made rounds with him as he went to check on those who had fallen ill while at the festival and to counsel those who were having problems and didn’t wish to talk to their own healer. Rodney quietly stayed in the background and was grateful that the other tribes seemed to understand, or at least recognize, what he was doing. They didn’t do anything that would put him into an uncomfortable position, instead, giving him reassuring smiles and good wishes for him at the auction.
At the end of the day, as Rodney got out of the bathing pool and dried himself off, he felt much calmer than he expected to – despite the slim chance that he might be taken off-world again. He was ready for whatever happened at the auction and was actually looking forward to it.
Jillian gave him a reassuring smile when he returned to their quarters and, as he was getting into bed, said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, Rodney-kun. Everything will be fine, I know it.”
Rodney simply nodded before turning over and going to sleep.
The encampment was quiet as they walked through it.
“Where is everyone?” Rodney asked, looking around at the deserted tents on either side.
“They’ve already gone to the auction site on the other side of the camp,” Kirby told him. “The auction inspections started at dawn.”
“Shouldn’t we have been there then, then?” Rodney asked glancing between Kirby, Kelly and Jillian, a little worried that they were doing something that would get them in trouble.
Kirby shook his head as he replied, “People aren’t auctioned off until the end. They start with products, then move on to livestock, then to people. Besides, it’s still early, so there’s nothing to worry about. The auction itself doesn’t start for a while yet.”
A buzz ahead of them continued to grow as they got closer and Rodney saw that everyone had gathered at the far edge of the camp. They were inspecting various goods, ranging from seeds and foodstuffs to technology, and livestock ranging from chickens to horses and cattle. The people – practically every tribe was represented – were being questioned a final time before the auction started.
Throughout the day, a number of the tribe’s representatives questioned Rodney for a final time and he couldn’t help but enjoy the questions, some of which reminded him of conversations he’d once had with John, only the cultural references were different.
The rest of the time, he remained quiet and enjoyed watching what was going on around him. The auction itself was easy enough to follow, since it operated like any auction he had ever seen. The only differences were the insults that the buyers were passing back and forth, and the heckling from the bystanders.
When it came time to auction the people, they were all lined up to one side of the platform. Rodney idly wondered if it was good or bad that he was third in line or if it just happened to be a random process. He avidly watched the two in front of him – a man and a woman – being auctioned; taking in the way they stood, how they didn’t take part in the heckling or insult-throwing that was never actually directed at them but seemed to enjoy it just the same, and how they seemed pleased with who they went to and the price they fetched – though Rodney was suddenly curious where that money went.
One of the attendants motioned him forward and Rodney mounted the platform, drawing himself up to his full height and looking out over the crowd with a confident expression on his face. The auctioneer called out a price and the bidding started. Rodney scanned the crowd and picked out familiar faces as the bidding and heckling went back and forth between the bidding tribes. Rodney was surprised how many people he was able to pick out and name and that he knew a few things about each of them. Before he knew it, he was being ushered off the other side of the platform and over to one of the men who had been taking care of recording all of the auctions and writing up the contracts between the winners and the people being auctioned.
“Congratulations,” the man said to Rodney. “So far you’ve gotten the highest bid of the day.”
“Uh… good?” Rodney replied expectantly as a man and woman came up to the table.
“Now we can begin the negotiations,” the man behind the table replied as he pulled out a clean sheet of paper and prepared his pen. “Rodney of Lapras, this is Dar’eem,” he pointed to the man, “and Dar’an,” he pointed to the woman, “of Darshan. They won your services in the auction.”
Rodney bowed to both of them and they returned the bow. “Can I ask how much you paid?” Rodney asked.
“Two silver talents,” the bookkeeper, as Rodney decided to call him, replied distractedly as he began writing up their transaction. “Your services appear to be in large demand, Rodney.”
“What exactly was I offered for?” Rodney asked, his eyes narrowing.
“To give security advice and help with Ancient technology,” Dar’eem replied. “Seeing as how we have a standing army, we have no issues with our security.”
“But we recently found a cache of Ancient technology and would like help with it,” Dar’an smoothly finished.
“Now, to the terms of your agreement,” the bookkeeper said. “The length of time will be for one cycle, until the next auction. Once the account has been settled at that time, you will be free to continue your business however you see fit or break it off completely. Until then, this contract you are about to agree to will be binding.”
“And what happens if the contract is broken?” Rodney asked, curious.
“It depends on who violated it and how,” the bookkeeper replied, looking up at Rodney placidly. “But either restitution or an extension of the contract will be decided upon. Now, the purpose of this contract is to lay out very specifically what the Darshans expect of you and how they would like to use your services, as well as what you expect from them in return for the use of your services.”
Rodney was surprised at how willing Dar’eem and Dar’an were to haggle about the terms of the contract, as well as how taken aback they were when he accepted a lower compensation than they first gave him. When he saw how frustrated they were getting with him, Rodney said, “I’m sorry. I’m not used to doing this, plus I don’t know your customs in this sort of thing. It’s just that I don’t really need anything for myself.”
“Thank you for your honesty,” Dar’an replied. “We’re willing to give you things for your family or friends. We didn’t intend to give the impression that this all had to be for you specifically and solely.”
After that, the negotiations went more smoothly. They would give Rodney a few items at a time and he would figure out if they worked and what they did. In exchange, they would give him some darchnan plants, which Rodney knew Kirby would be happy to have easy access to, new dishware for both himself and Jaelyn, as well as Jillian, and – once Dar’eem and Dar’an heard he was getting married soon – an almost endless supply of little things that he and Jaelyn would need to start their life together that they wouldn’t be able to get on Lapras.
“I do have one caveat before we finish,” Rodney mentioned before they finalized the deal. “The Laprans have no written language and I doubt you would be able to understand my native language.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Dar’eem replied. “We’ll give you a voice recorder and we’ll have someone transcribe the file after we’ve picked it up with the corresponding items.”
“We have also been authorized to give you the first batch of items as soon as you’re ready,” Dar’an said as the bookkeeper turned the page around for them all to sign and she took the pen and signed where indicated.
“I’m ready whenever you are,” Rodney replied as Dar’eem bent over to sign. After he signed, Rodney stared at his name for a moment and felt his stomach churn with a mix of indescribable feelings at seeing his own handwriting for the first time in so long and that it hadn’t felt odd to write “Rodney of Lapras” instead of “Dr. M. Rodney McKay, Ph.D.”
“How about we meet after dinner at the entrance to your village?” Dar’an asked.
“That works for me,” Rodney replied, glancing back over his shoulder and seeing the auction crowd was breaking up as people headed back to their homes for dinner. “I’ll meet you there then.” The three of them bowed to each other and went their separate ways.
When he got back to his quarters, both Kirby and Jillian greeted him with a grin. “What?” he asked, suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.
“We’re very proud of you,” Kirby replied. “Not many people have ever gotten a two talent bid at the auction.”
“And where exactly does that money go?” Rodney asked. “It’s not exactly like we use it here.”
“Part of it goes to the auctioneers as a fee for their services and the rest will come to you to be used in case you have to go to the other world in the course of your service to them. I’m sure you’ll do a great job for the Darshans. They’re a good people – easy to get along with and very fair in their business proceedings.”
“What did you get in return for your services?” Jillian asked.
“Well, I got some darchnan plants for Kirby and I. I got some dishware for Jaelyn and I, as well as you, Jillian. And they’re also going to provide Jaelyn and I with a lot of the little things we’ll need for our wedding that we can’t make here.”
“That sounds very reasonable,” Kirby replied, “and I’ll be grateful for access to the plants.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything, though,” Jillian replied. “We’ve already been through this.”
“I know I didn’t have to. But I wanted to get you something for all you’ve done for me. Plus, if it’s any consolation, the Darshans were practically forcing me to take things and, since I didn’t really want anything, I figured I could get you and Kirby some things instead. And the wedding stuff was a bit of an accident because I let it slip.”
“We are grateful that you decided to share your wealth with us, Rodney-kun,” Kirby replied with a gracious smile and Rodney could tell by his tone that that was meant to be the end of the discussion. “Now, we’ll need to discuss how much work they’ve given you and what sort of time frame they’re looking at for getting things back, so you can figure out a way to include everything in your day.”
Rodney nodded. “They’ll be by later to drop off the first batch so I’m sure we can figure something out.”
After discussing the terms of Rodney’s contract with the Darshans, it was decided that he and Kirby could easily accommodate the extra work into his schedule with out much of a change to their current schedule.
When the Darshans arrived with Rodney’s first workload, he took the satchel of items from Dar’an and said, “Please, come back to my quarters. It’ll be more comfortable there and you can fill me in on what you know about the items.”
The pair hesitated for a moment before agreeing and, for that moment, Rodney hoped he hadn’t greatly overstepped any boundaries. But they relaxed once they were inside Rodney’s quarters and were seated on Rodney and Jillian’s stools after Kirby and Jillian both excused themselves.
“Would either of you like anything to eat or drink?” he asked, wanting to make sure they were both comfortable.
“No, thank you,” Dar’an replied. “We ate before we came.”
“I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries,” Rodney said as he knelt and opened the bag and began laying out various items.
“It’s all right,” Dar’eem replied. “We simply aren’t used to it.”
Rodney’s fingers lingered on each of the pieces, simply soaking in their shape and texture, relishing their untapped potential.
“You look like you’re with a lover,” Dar’an said with an amused tone.
“I haven’t seen items like these in a very long time,” Rodney replied, visually taking in each of the items. “Before I came to the Laprans, I daily used equipment made by the people that made these. Seeing them brings back memories.”
“And how long have you been with the Laprans?” Dar’an asked, intrigued.
“Three cycles,” Rodney replied, looking up at her, his hand hovering over one of the items that he was about to pick up. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious,” she replied. “You speak the language very well.”
“And you act very much like a Lapran,” Dar’eem added. “If you hadn’t said something, I doubt we would have known you weren’t a natural Lapran.”
Rodney pulled the conversation back on track and they went through the items. As Rodney figured, what they knew about what they had wasn’t much. But he did feel better once they had finished, since he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be blowing up anyone or anything accidentally. And the fact that there were others out there who had the ATA gene and access to Ancient technology, even if they didn’t know how to use it due to the constant cullings and disruptions to their culture, sent a hopeful thrill through Rodney.
After they left, Rodney sat down next to the Ancient tech and just stared at it, feeling both completely overwhelmed and extremely excited at the same time. After staring at everything for a long time, he picked up the voice recorder and made his first entry, entitled, “Ancient Technology and You: How to Safely Use What Your Ancestors Left Behind When You’re Not Sure What It Is”. He didn’t want to be blamed for anyone else’s stupidity if he could help it. Then he picked up a piece of technology at random that looked like a slightly larger version of the life signs detector and started examining it, making notes on the recorder of his findings and what did and didn’t work as he went along.
When Jillian returned late that evening, she had to forcefully take the new-and-improved life signs detector out of Rodney’s hands and, in no uncertain terms, force him to eat something. She was also very firm when she told him that she wouldn’t watch over him to make sure he ate and slept, regardless of how interesting the technology was, and Rodney had to promise her that he would take care of himself before she let him have the life signs detector back.
“When did you get to be so evil?” Rodney asked as she set aside some food for Kirby and began cleaning up.
“That’s assuming I wasn’t before,” she replied. “Maybe you just didn’t notice.”
“Oh, I think I would have noticed,” he commented as he tapped the screen to go back a few pages so he could reread it again.
“What are you working on?” she asked, sitting down next to him.
“It’s called a life signs detector. It can tell who is in it’s vicinity and they’ll pop up on the screen as dots. One improvement it has over the ones I’m used to using is that this is sentient and can tell the different people in the vicinity apart – which is very helpful if you’re trying to figure out if someone is good or bad.”
“That’s intriguing,” she replied, peering at the screen. “What’s this?” she asked, pointing at a cluster of dots.
“That’s us,” Rodney replied. “And this big mess over here is the encampment. If we were actually out there, it might be able to differentiate better.”
“I can see why you like this technology so much.” She yawned. “I should get some sleep; I have an early morning.”
For the next few days, Rodney only ventured into the encampment when absolutely necessary on business with either Laura or Kirby – or, in one case, when Kelly physically dragged him and used threats Rodney didn’t think he knew. Otherwise, he ensconced himself either in his quarters or in the commons with one of the Darshan’s pieces of Atlantean technology.
He had forgotten how much he had missed this – the simple discovery of what the items did and how they worked. On Atlantis, so often he had either two options – push the research aside to pull a death-defying save out of his ass or learn how something worked as quickly as possible in case it was potentially dangerous because it wasn’t a good idea to have it lying around for one of the morons to accidentally activate it.
But having a more relaxed pace in which to play around and check all possible tangents was invigorating and it reminded Rodney why he had fallen in love with science all those years ago. It had its own rhythm and music that called to him and pulled him in until he felt like he was drowning in it, much as he had every time he had listened to Mozart’s piano concertos as a child.
And, true to her word, Jillian didn’t force him to eat or make him go to bed, which lead to a couple of sleepless nights and near-hypoglycemic shock – each of which was followed by a stern lecture by Kirby on the necessities of watching out for himself, which Rodney couldn’t help but think sounded too much like Carson’s lectures minus the Scottish brogue.
“I don’t know, Jaelyn. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Rodney heard Jennifer tell her at the end of the festival. He stopped in his tracks and, as an afterthought, moved to the side of the pathway between the caves. Going to the practice cave for some private practice suddenly seemed like a bad idea.
“Granted, it’s not the *best* idea, but it’s better than anything else we’ve been able to think of,” Jaelyn replied with a sigh. “Besides, he seems to respect honesty greatly. I think I should just tell him that I really only want him so I can have a baby. I think it’s best that that’s out in the open before the wedding. I do care for him – just not as a woman should love her husband.”
Rodney felt his jaw drop and his brain stutter to a stop. That was just…. He couldn’t think of the right thing to describe what that was.
“And while he doesn’t talk about it much,” Jaelyn continued, “it seems like his people are much more relaxed about conception, so I’m sure that it won’t be too hard to do it without having to go through the rest of the courtship and the wedding.”
Rodney heard them getting out of the pool and he quickly turned and headed back up to the surface, hoping he hadn’t alerted them to his presence. His mind was swirling and he didn’t know what to think or how to act or anything, really.
He wanted to talk to Kelly about it, but didn’t know how that would fare, regardless of their bound friend status. Even among close friends, sex was just one of those things that wasn’t normally talked about in casual conversation. But this wasn’t normal – at least not for Rodney. But he guessed that he should have known their relationship was too good to be true.
“I thought you were going to get some private practice time in,” Kelly commented when he saw Rodney emerge from the tunnel.
“I was, but decided against it,” Rodney replied.
“Is everything okay?” Kelly asked, concern evident in his voice as he gave him a scrutinizing look.
“Yeah, nothing to worry about,” Rodney replied, waving him off. “And thank you again for the bag. It means a lot to me.”
“You can stop thanking me,” Kelly replied with a laugh. “I was happy to do it and I enjoyed the challenge. There aren’t many people around that know Ancient.”
Rodney rolled his eyes as he replied, “Tell me about it. Even among my people, not many did.”
Jaelyn and Jennifer emerged from the tunnel and Rodney turned to look at them. He was about to get their attention, but the intent look on Jaelyn’s face as they talked and their swift pace made him hesitate and they were back in their borough before Rodney could open his mouth.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” Kelly asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rodney replied. “I just have a few things on my mind.”
“Or one thing,” Kelly muttered. “Are you getting cold feet?”
“No,” Rodney replied sharply. He paused for a moment before continuing more gently, “I’m just worried that I’ll do something wrong.” ‘Like blurt out that I heard what Jaelyn and Jennifer where talking about and get myself into a shitload of trouble,’ he thought. Rodney sighed and said, “I’ll see you later. I have to go get some work done if I plan on being ready for the Darshans when they come to pick up their stuff.”
“Okay,” Kelly replied, looking mystified as Rodney headed back into the borough.
Rodney tinkered with a piece of Ancient technology the next morning, but couldn’t concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing. His gaze kept going to Jaelyn and Jennifer who were sitting across the commons area talking and giggling as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
After stabbing himself with the stylus for the fifth time, Rodney cursed under his breath and let his hands and the device fall to his lap. He cursed again as he tore his eyes from the women and clenched his hands around the gadget, willing himself to not throw it in exasperation. He wasn’t getting anywhere with his work and he had no idea how to broach the subject with Jaelyn.
While he had never thought of himself as the “get married and have kids” type, Rodney had slowly come to the realization that he wouldn’t necessarily be averse to it. But he didn’t want to do it this way. He had come to value the Laprans and the way they did things too much to be so cavalier in his relationship with Jaelyn, regardless of what she wanted. And he had decided a long time ago that if he did, in fact, have children, he would do everything in his power to stay with their mother and make it work with her. And he wanted to have a part in his offspring’s lives in a way his parents hadn’t.
Rodney sighed as he turned off the device and set it to the side. He took a deep breath and centered himself, focusing on his breathing. He felt himself calm down and his mind clear. He knew he needed to talk with Jaelyn – and sooner rather than later.
Rodney stood and walked resolutely across the commons area before he could talk himself out of it. He ducked into his quarters and donned his robe and boots. Jaelyn and Jennifer stopped talking looked up at him as he approached, confusion showing on both their faces at the grim expression he wore.
“I need to speak with you, Jaelyn,” Rodney said brusquely. “Alone.”
“Okay,” she replied a little nervously as she gave Jennifer a shrug before standing and disappearing into her quarters, returning shortly wearing her robe and boots. “What’s going on?” she asked as they headed out of the village and across the sand, away from both the village and the encampment.
Once they were on top of a nearby dune, Rodney turned to her and put his hands on his hips. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not wanting his temper to get the best of him. “When were you planning on telling me?” he finally asked quietly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaelyn replied, still looking confused.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” Rodney lashed out. He took a moment to compose himself and Jaelyn didn’t offer any explanation. “I heard you and Jennifer talking yesterday,” he finally admitted.
“Oh, that,” she replied nonchalantly.
“‘Oh, that’?” Rodney repeated indignantly. “What do you mean, ‘oh, that’?”
Jaelyn shrugged as she sat down on the sand, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. “What do you want me to say? It’s true.”
“I just – I just thought,” Rodney sputtered then huffed in exasperation. “I thought that I actually meant something to you. All of me, not the parts of me that fit your plan to have a child.”
“You do mean something to me, Rodney-chan,” she replied softly. “I just can’t. Not the way you want me to.”
“How long have you known?” he asked. When she didn’t look at him and didn’t answer, he asked more forcefully, “How long?”
“A while.” She looked up at him, her expression sad. “I did try, Rodney-chan. I wanted – I *want* – to love you. You’re a very good man and I realize how lucky I am that we were a match. I just can’t love you the way I should.”
“Why not?” he asked as he did his best to keep the grief that had crept into his chest out of his voice. He dropped down into the sand next to her.
She shrugged sadly. “I don’t know. Believe me, it’s not you.”
Rodney let out a bark of a laugh as he wiped his hands over his face. At her startled look, he shook his head. “It’s a cultural thing,” he said, but didn’t elaborate.
“So, what do you think?” she asked after a quiet moment. “You help me have a baby and I’ll break up with you so you can find someone who will love you back the way you deserve. That way we both get what we want.”
“I don’t know,” Rodney replied morosely as he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Won’t the break-up cause problems for us?”
“I don’t think so,” Jaelyn replied. “It’s happened before – not often, but it’s happened.”
“And what happens when they find out that you’re pregnant?”
Jaelyn grimaced. “It won’t be pretty – which is why I want to do it before the festival is over. That way, I can keep you out of it as much as possible. That’s happened before as well, even if it is incredibly rare. And if the mother doesn’t divulge the father’s name, she can’t be forced to do so and action can’t be taken.”
“And what makes you so sure this is the best way to do it?” Rodney asked, gently.
“Because I feel it in here.” She touched her chest over her heart. “Even against my better judgment and everything I know to be true and right, I want this. I want a baby more than anything and have for a long, long time. But I’ve never seen a husband in the picture.”
“Let me think about it, okay?” Rodney asked.
Jaelyn nodded mutely. “Take your time. I don’t want you to regret your decision – whatever it will be.”
Rodney scanned the sky without looking for anything in particular and stood. “We should get back inside or they’ll start looking for us.”
“I think I’m going to walk in the encampment for a while, if anyone asks,” Jaelyn replied as she stood.
“Okay,” Rodney replied before he watched her go, her posture making her look more tired and worn out than he knew she should be.
He sat back down on the sand with a thump and let out a huge sigh. He had no idea how to handle this. He knew that if he agreed and Jaelyn conceived, that things would get very hard for her. He knew how people looked at and talked about a couple of the older women who had been single mothers by choice and it wasn’t kind, even if there was a note of pity in their voices. He didn’t wish that for her.
But he did want her to be happy and he loved her enough that he was willing to let her go. And if this could make her happy, then maybe it was worth a shot. He could always hope that she didn’t conceive. He let out a puff of air as he ran his hands through his hair and then down over his face, wondering what he was getting himself into now.
Continue to Part 16
