(no subject)
Apr. 1st, 2007 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sam_gamgeeContinued from Part 3
"Very true," Wesley replied with a chuckle of his own.
"Now, how did you get hooked up with Stacey?" Lorne asked. "At first glance she doesn’t seem to fit into the little group, but – "
"She’s my Slayer," Wesley said. "She actually came to us a couple months ago worried about some weird occurrences. After some discussion, I took her on for training and such."
"That’s great, Wes!" Fred said with a grin.
"But how exactly does that work?" Lorne asked. "From what Dory and Marty told me, the demon population isn’t exactly in need of a Slayer."
"We’ve got an agreement worked out with the demon prison here where she executes the death row inmates." Wesley looked down into his drink. "It’s not ideal for a Slayer, but," he shrugged half-heartedly. "It serves its purposes."
"We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do, right?" Angel asked as he took a sip of his beer. They paused for the waitress to serve their food. Once she was gone, Angel said, "You know, I’ll admit that on our way out here, I was still trying to think of ways to make you three come back with us. But now that I’ve seen you guys here, I don’t think there’s anything I could say that would make you."
"You’re right," Wesley replied, a bit defensively, "there isn’t.”
"I’m just glad you’re happy," Fred said. "And you too, Lindsey. Not that I knew you before, but…"
"I know what you mean," Lindsey said with a smile. "I was in a similar boat a while back, so I’d say it still applies."
The conversation moved on with Fred and Lorne asking questions about the ceremony and Gunn wanting to know more about the town. Lindsey squeezed Wesley’s thigh and Wesley couldn’t help but smile. Here he was with an opportunity to return to his old life, and he knew now for certain that there was no way he’d ever do it. This was where he belonged.
"I think that went well," Lindsey said that night when they got home.
"So do I," Wesley agreed. "I feel a lot better now that we’ve been able to have that sit-down with them. Even though we didn’t really resolve anything in my relationship with them, I feel like the air was definitely cleared."
"Or something," Lindsey added jokingly.
"Yes, ‘or something’," Wesley replied with a laugh.
Elisa came out of Zane’s room. "Did you lot have a good time tonight?" she asked.
"We did," Wesley replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "How was Zane?"
"An absolute joy," she replied with a smile. "He reminds me a lot of you at that age." She kissed them both on the cheek. “Good night, you two. Sleep well.”
Following Wesley into their room and closing the door behind them, Lindsey said, “So, when do you want to meet with Angel?”
Wesley half-shrugged as he took his shirt off. “I don’t know.”
Lindsey sat down on the bed to take his boots off. “I think it’d be good if we did it before the seventh. That way it’s behind us before the wedding.”
“Being symbolic, are we?” Wesley asked as he got their pajamas out.
“Yes. Besides, I want you to get this over sooner rather than later. Since Stacey’s next slaying gig is on Thursday, you’ve got either tomorrow, Tuesday, or Wednesday to do it. At least call him tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Believe me,” Lindsey said as they got under the covers, “it’s going to be hard, but it’s for our own good.”
“Why did you choose here?” Lindsey asked as he and Wesley got out of the truck the next evening at the park. He easily took Wesley’s hand as they met at the front of the truck.
Wesley shrugged as they entered the park and headed to the swings. “I don’t know. It just seemed fitting, some how.” He caught sight of a lone figure coming from the other side of the park. “There’s Angel.”
“Wes. Lindsey,” Angel said when he reached them.
“Angel,” they replied in unison.
“Zane looks good,” the vampire commented. “He looks happy.”
“He is,” Wesley replied.
“You’ve both done a good job with him.”
“Thank you.”
Lindsey detangled his hand from Wesley’s. “Obviously, my being here isn’t helping as much as I had thought, if the two of you are just going to stare at each other. I’m going to take a walk and you two talk things out, come to blows if you need to and I’ll be back.”
“Lindsey –” Wesley replied quietly.
“I’ll be back,” he reiterated firmly before kissing Wesley on the cheek. “*Talk*.”
Wesley watched Lindsey until he was out of earshot and then sat down on one of the swings. “I’m happy here, Angel,” he finally said. “What we had back in L.A. never would have worked in the long run.”
“I thought we were doing pretty good,” Angel replied, coming a little closer and standing in front of Wesley.
“Sure, in a very maladaptive way.” Wesley began swaying back and forth. “You were using me both physically and for my expertise and I kept hoping for something more. Sooner or later, something would have exploded. It was better for all of us that I got out of there.”
Angel’s voice took on a plaintive tone as he said, “But you left without even saying good-bye. You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant.” He became angrier, accusing. “You didn’t even tell me you *could* get pregnant.” He began pacing.
“And I’m sorry about that, Angel. For so long, I had had to deal with what I am alone, that it was just second nature by the time I started working with you and Cordelia. It’s just a part of who I am – same with you being a vampire. And it was an honest, stupid mistake on my part in letting myself become pregnant.”
“So you didn’t want to become pregnant?”
“At that point in time? No, I didn’t. But in time – after the initial shock wore off – I did want it. Because it was a part of you that no one else could have and that no one could take away from me.”
“Why didn’t you call me and tell me what was going on?”
“I *did* call you and you never called back. You also never called before I called you – which was *two months* after I left. Fred and Gunn called me all the time to see how I was, but I didn’t get anything from you – not even a ‘hey, no one’s heard from you and that’s not like you and you’re not at your apartment, where the hell are you?’ call. What was I supposed to think?”
Angel shrugged helplessly, not having a good response.
“Honestly, I don’t have anything for you any more, Angel. There were a few months there in the beginning where I still hoped that you would just show up one day and promise to do better and we’d go back to L.A. and be a family. But when day after day came and went and there was nothing, that dream slowly died. Then when you showed up on our doorstep unannounced five months into the pregnancy, I started to hope again. Not for myself this time – but for Zane. That he would know his dad, have a better relationship with him than either of us ever did with ours. But aside from the baby book, there was nothing for the next two and a half months. Then I thought that maybe you were just waiting until Zane was born to start. And then Lindsey started being the good parent and reaching out to you – first with the completed baby book and then with the regular correspondence. But we never heard anything from you. What was I supposed to think, Angel?”
“You never said you weren’t coming back,” Angel said feebly.
“And you also said that you would be involved. We both know I wasn’t looking for money, Angel. Even something as simple as a phone call or a card saying, ‘thanks for the letter – my, he’s getting big,’ would have sufficed.
“Well, if you had come back to L.A. –” Angel continued.
“If I had come back to L.A., what?” Wesley replied bitingly. “We would’ve been a happy family with a dog and a white picket fence? You would have been an attentive father? I know how you were with Connor, Angel, but would it have been different with Zane since there are two of us?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.”
“Look, I’m happy here. Zane’s happy here. Lindsey’s happy here. We’re not moving just because you like having ‘your’ people close to you. We’ve been doing great here and we like it. You can stop worrying about us.”
“How can I tell you that I do want to be more of a part of Zane’s life?”
“You can’t because you did before and nothing happened. You’ll actually have to do something. He doesn’t need big, grand gestures. Little things will work just fine. And you know now that he’s met you, he’s going to ask about you in the future, want to know if you’re going to come visit.”
Angel nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“What will you tell Zane I am?”
“When?”
Angel shrugged. “Whenever.”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t need to know right now, does he? Especially since he’s just met you. As far as he’s concerned, Lindsey’s his other daddy and that’s all he cares about.” Wesley paused for a minute to think. “If, in the future, it seems like it’s important to tell him, we can discuss it and figure something out. Until then, I’m happy leaving things the way they are.”
Angel nodded and smiled slightly. “You know, Lorne’s been telling me for a while that I need to get over myself and start talking to you again and get to know Zane.”
“Smart demon,” Wesley replied. “You should have listened to him.”
“Here comes Lindsey.” Angel gestured with his chin over Wesley’s shoulder. “I should get going. You two need to get back to your family.”
“Okay,” Wesley replied. “I’ll see you in a couple days.”
Angel nodded. “Okay. Goodnight, Wesley.”
“Night, Angel.”
“How did it go?” Lindsey said as he came up.
“Okay,” Wesley replied, standing and moving into Lindsey’s embrace. “Even if I felt like I was talking to a brick wall.”
“Do you think he’ll actually keep in touch this time?”
Wesley half-shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope so – for Zane’s sake.”
“As long as you’re happy with it, I am.”
Wesley smiled. “Let’s go home, shall we?”
Lindsey smiled as well and stole a quick kiss. “Sounds good to me.”
Thursday evening saw Wesley and Stacey at the prison. She had been doing an execution a week there since they started and things had gone exceedingly well. Tonight she was going to try stepping up to two demons a night, to see how that would work.
“How are you feeling?” Wesley asked, as he did before each of the fights.
“Doubly nervous,” she replied with a smile, “because I so don’t want to end up in the hospital or with some nasty gash on my forehead before the ceremony.”
“You’ll be fine,” he replied, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Deep breaths. These two are going to go just like all the other ones. I’ll be over on the sideline, like always, and Marty and the warden are going to be up in the box watching over us.”
She let out a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, give me the five second rundown on the first guy.”
Stacey went through the first guy easily. It probably hadn’t helped that the demon had been resigned to the fact that he was going to die and didn’t put up much of a fight.
“Good job, Stacey,” Wesley said when she was done. “Don’t let yourself get complacent, though. We both know this guy was an exception to the rule.”
She nodded as she rolled her shoulders. “Who’s up next?”
As if to underline Wesley’s point, the next demon was a fireball and put up a fight. There were a few close calls, but Stacey pulled herself out of them gracefully.
“Good work,” Wesley replied when she came to him at the end. “You did very well tonight and I’m very proud of you.”
She blushed a little and said, “Well, I had a good teacher.”
Marty and the warden came down and also gave her their praise, which caused Stacey to blush even more. After helping Wesley to quickly clean and pack the weapons, he took her home.
The rehearsal the following evening went and helped ease a great deal of the nervousness that Wesley was feeling, though he was still convinced that as much as possible was going to go wrong the next day.
As they were getting ready the day of the ceremony, both men were nervous and almost vibrating with anxiety. Zane was an excited ball of energy and it took a lot of coaxing from Elisa to get any of them to eat anything for breakfast. But when they arrived at the church, Lindsey took a deep breath and a relaxed calm settled over his features.
"How did you do that?" Wesley asked.
"Years of performing," Lindsey replied. "And a really bad case of stage fright that Lorne helped me get through. Just think of something good and keep it in your mind's eye."
"And what do you keep there?"
“Nowadays?” Lindsey smiled. "You and Zane."
Wesley took a couple of deep breaths and tried picturing Lindsey and Zane. After a moment, he felt better and said, “Yeah, I’d say it works.”
After checking to make sure the sanctuary was ready, they went to the changing room. As they were adjusting each other's ties, Elisa came in.
"Oh, look at you two! Aren't you just a picture?" Taking in the sight of the two of them together, she simply smiled at them for a moment. Seeing the tartan cummerbunds, she said, "I love the tartan touch. A little bit of tradition in a rather untraditional setting."
They put their boutonnieres on each other, and Wesley looked at his watch. "Well, I guess it's show time."
Lindsey nodded and the three of them moved to the door. Wesley grabbed Lindsey's hand as they exited and walked to the doorway of the sanctuary. Elisa went in and took her seat. Both men took a deep breath and took in the crowd of people that were there to witness their commitment. Making eye contact with Marty, Wesley nodded slightly and "Chapel of Love" by the Dixie Cups started playing. Wesley and Lindsey looked at each other and smiled and as the audience stood, started down the aisle.
Wesley couldn't keep his eyes off of Lindsey. How he had been able to catch the eye and capture the heart of this beautiful, kind man was beyond him. But somehow he had, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world.
Stacey got up to do the first of two readings, and said, "The first time I read this poem in my Lit class, two people came to mind – the two in front of us today, celebrating their love. The poem is 'i carry your heart with me' by e.e. cummings."
"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
"my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
"i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
"by only me is your doing, my darling)
"i fear
"no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
"no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
"and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
"and whatever a sun will always sing is you
"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
"(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
"and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
"higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
"and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
"i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"
As Stacey read, Wesley couldn't help but feel his heart begin to ache with happiness, the words of the poem resonating in him. And he could tell by Lindsey's expression, that he felt the same way.
As she stepped down, Dory got for the second reading. "My reading comes from Kate Chopin's The Awakening. 'Are you in love with Robert?' [Mademoiselle Reisz asked.]
"'Yes,' said Edna. It was the first time she had admitted it, and a glow overspread her face, blotching it with red spots.
"'Why?' asked her companion. 'Why do you love him when you ought not to?'
“'Why? Because his hair is brown and grows away from his temples; because he opens and shuts his eyes, and his nose is a little out of drawing; because he has two lips and a square chin, and a little finger which he can't straighten from having played baseball too energetically in his youth. Because –'
'Because you do, in short,' laughed Mademoiselle. 'What will you do when he comes back?' she asked.
'Do? Nothing, except feel glad and happy to be alive.'"
Wesley's smile grew as he listened because there was truth in what she had read. There may have been many reasons in the beginning for him to not have fallen in love Lindsey, but he had and now he could think of so many reasons why he should have.
"Before we get to the part of the ceremony everyone's been waiting for," David said, "I have a few Bible passages I would like to read. The first comes from 1 Samuel 18:1-4. 'After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends. From that day on Saul kept David with him at the palace and wouldn't let him return home. And Jonathan made a special vow to be David's friend, and he sealed the pact by giving him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.'
"The second reading comes from the book of Ruth, 1:16-17. 'But Ruth replied, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the LORD punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!"
David closed the Bible and smiled. “And now it's time for the recitation of the vows. Lindsey and Wesley have both written their own vows for this occasion."
The two men smiled at each other and tightened their hold on each others' hands. Lindsey gave Wesley a slight nod to go ahead.
Wesley cleared his throat and said, "I, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, take you Lindsey McDonald, to be my wedded husband because you love me for who and what I am. To have and to hold from this day forward, because I know that no matter what happens, I am safe with you. I will be with you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. And I will love and cherish you because of how you have loved and cherished me and mine," he gave a quick smile to Zane, who was standing next to Jonathan, before looking back at Lindsey. "Until death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness forever." He looked at Zane again and took the ring that Zane was holding up for him and slipped it on Lindsey's ring finger.
Lindsey grinned. "I, Lindsey McDonald, take you, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, to be my wedded husband because you have touched my life in ways I never could have imagined. With you, I feel a profound sense of belonging and a love deeper than I could ever have imagined. Therefore, I pledge from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as well as to love and to cherish, because without you, my life would be less than what it's become, and until death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness forever." He glanced at Zane and took the ring that Zane was now offering him and slipped it on Wesley's ring finger.
They both smiled and looked back at David, who was smiling as well. David said, "In the presence of God and these witnesses, it is my joy to announce that you are now partners for life, bound by your love for each other to walk the rest of this journey we call life together. And, as tradition dictates, it is now time for the kiss."
The crowd applauded as they kissed. After the recessional, they went outside with the wedding party for the pictures as the rest of the guests made their way over to where the reception was being held.
Once Lindsey and Wesley arrived at the reception hall and found their seats, Marty and Jonathan stood up. "We've decided that we're going to be quick about it and do the toasts to the lucky couple now and get them out of the way so we can get on with this shindig," Jonathan said. "So, if you all wouldn't mind raising a glass with me…" After everyone did so, he looked at Wesley and Lindsey and continued, "May God grant you both have long lives, a love that conquers all, and the sanity needed where necessary to raise Zane to become the man he's meant to be. Cheers."
After everyone had drunk, he sat down and Marty said, "I hope that you two will never lie, steal, cheat, or drink – which may be hard, given that you're both working in the legal system." He paused for the smattering of laughter to die out. "But if you must lie, I hope that you lie in the arms of the one you love. And if you must steal, steal away from bad company. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away." He held up his glass again and smiled at Wesley and Lindsey.
Both men were a bit teary – their friends’ words having touched them deeply. After putting their glasses down, they kissed again to their friends’ cheers.
The reception was officially underway. Food was distributed and everyone talked and laughed as they ate.
Once the plates had been cleared away, and before the cutting of the cake, Lindsey went up to the small stage and picked up the guitar that had been sitting on one side of it. “I hope y’all don’t mind, but I’ve been working on something special for Wesley for the past few weeks and I’d like to play it for him now, since I don’t think I’m going to get a better time to do it.”
He quickly tuned it before starting to play a song Wesley hadn’t heard before, his eyes closing in concentration.
“Living with me – it ain’t easy / How do you do it every day / Sometimes even now I want to run away / There you are, you’re trying to please me / You stand your ground / It’s more than I deserve
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve
“It’s just your style to wear a smile / Oh, baby, you wear it well / If I had my way, I’d dress you in nothing else / Come over here and lay down a little while / Because you right now are more than I deserve
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve”
During the interlude, Lindsey opened his eyes and met Wesley’s gaze. All the love he felt was broadcast in that gaze. He sang the chorus one more time, and this time it was for Wesley only.
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve”
As Lindsey sang, Wesley was bowled over again by how much he loved the man. When Lindsey was finished, there was wild applause and Lindsey colored a bit as he set the guitar back on its stand. Wesley kissed Lindsey as soon as he sat back down.
“I love you,” he murmured, touching his forehead to Lindsey’s.
“I love you too, babe,” Lindsey whispered back.
Epilogue:
Zane’s fourth birthday and Christmas came and went and before they knew it, it was time for Elisa to head home. And Angel actually did start corresponding with Zane. It wasn’t much – sometimes a postcard with a short note scrawled on the back or a cheesy kids’ card with a note inside and a picture of the L.A. gang. Zane was always thrilled to be getting mail and was determined to always send something back – usually a picture he drew himself.
The next big date on the calendar was the release of Lindsey’s album. As the date crept closer, Lindsey became more on edge, sure something was going to go wrong. A few days before they were due in Oklahoma City for the official release party – an unofficial one having been planned for the following night in Stillwater – Wesley had an appointment with Dr. Gonzales, which went according to plan.
The party itself was crazy. Wesley and Lindsey had left Zane with Marty and Dory for the night before heading down to Oklahoma City. The venue holding the party was packed with a number of executives and socialites hoping to be seen. Wesley and Lindsey were surprised to find that a number of their friends had also traveled to show their support for Lindsey.
The couple was swamped almost from the moment they walked through the door with people asking for autographs and wanting to talk to Lindsey. Wesley hung back, letting Lindsey do his thing, happy to watch his partner doing something he loved.
After doing a set of songs and some more networking, Lindsey and Wesley were able to slip away and back to their hotel.
“What a night!” Lindsey said as they landed on the bed with a laugh. “That was insane!”
“But it looks like you enjoyed every minute of it,” Wesley replied with a smirk.
“Oh, I did,” Lindsey replied as he rolled onto his stomach and pressed against Wesley’s side. “But I think I’m going to enjoy this even more,” and he captured Wesley’s mouth in a hungry kiss.
They undressed each other quickly before resuming their kissing, the adrenaline from the evening fueling their passion. They made love with an intensity that hadn’t been there before the wedding, but that had fueled each of their couplings since.
Afterwards, Lindsey spooned up behind Wesley. "I do have one more surprise for you," Wesley said.
"Oh?" Lindsey replied as he tightened his arms around Wesley and nuzzled and kissed his exposed neck. "And what would that be?"
Wesley intertwined the fingers of one hand with Lindsey’s and laid them over his stomach. "I'm pregnant."
FIN
"Very true," Wesley replied with a chuckle of his own.
"Now, how did you get hooked up with Stacey?" Lorne asked. "At first glance she doesn’t seem to fit into the little group, but – "
"She’s my Slayer," Wesley said. "She actually came to us a couple months ago worried about some weird occurrences. After some discussion, I took her on for training and such."
"That’s great, Wes!" Fred said with a grin.
"But how exactly does that work?" Lorne asked. "From what Dory and Marty told me, the demon population isn’t exactly in need of a Slayer."
"We’ve got an agreement worked out with the demon prison here where she executes the death row inmates." Wesley looked down into his drink. "It’s not ideal for a Slayer, but," he shrugged half-heartedly. "It serves its purposes."
"We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do, right?" Angel asked as he took a sip of his beer. They paused for the waitress to serve their food. Once she was gone, Angel said, "You know, I’ll admit that on our way out here, I was still trying to think of ways to make you three come back with us. But now that I’ve seen you guys here, I don’t think there’s anything I could say that would make you."
"You’re right," Wesley replied, a bit defensively, "there isn’t.”
"I’m just glad you’re happy," Fred said. "And you too, Lindsey. Not that I knew you before, but…"
"I know what you mean," Lindsey said with a smile. "I was in a similar boat a while back, so I’d say it still applies."
The conversation moved on with Fred and Lorne asking questions about the ceremony and Gunn wanting to know more about the town. Lindsey squeezed Wesley’s thigh and Wesley couldn’t help but smile. Here he was with an opportunity to return to his old life, and he knew now for certain that there was no way he’d ever do it. This was where he belonged.
"I think that went well," Lindsey said that night when they got home.
"So do I," Wesley agreed. "I feel a lot better now that we’ve been able to have that sit-down with them. Even though we didn’t really resolve anything in my relationship with them, I feel like the air was definitely cleared."
"Or something," Lindsey added jokingly.
"Yes, ‘or something’," Wesley replied with a laugh.
Elisa came out of Zane’s room. "Did you lot have a good time tonight?" she asked.
"We did," Wesley replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "How was Zane?"
"An absolute joy," she replied with a smile. "He reminds me a lot of you at that age." She kissed them both on the cheek. “Good night, you two. Sleep well.”
Following Wesley into their room and closing the door behind them, Lindsey said, “So, when do you want to meet with Angel?”
Wesley half-shrugged as he took his shirt off. “I don’t know.”
Lindsey sat down on the bed to take his boots off. “I think it’d be good if we did it before the seventh. That way it’s behind us before the wedding.”
“Being symbolic, are we?” Wesley asked as he got their pajamas out.
“Yes. Besides, I want you to get this over sooner rather than later. Since Stacey’s next slaying gig is on Thursday, you’ve got either tomorrow, Tuesday, or Wednesday to do it. At least call him tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Believe me,” Lindsey said as they got under the covers, “it’s going to be hard, but it’s for our own good.”
“Why did you choose here?” Lindsey asked as he and Wesley got out of the truck the next evening at the park. He easily took Wesley’s hand as they met at the front of the truck.
Wesley shrugged as they entered the park and headed to the swings. “I don’t know. It just seemed fitting, some how.” He caught sight of a lone figure coming from the other side of the park. “There’s Angel.”
“Wes. Lindsey,” Angel said when he reached them.
“Angel,” they replied in unison.
“Zane looks good,” the vampire commented. “He looks happy.”
“He is,” Wesley replied.
“You’ve both done a good job with him.”
“Thank you.”
Lindsey detangled his hand from Wesley’s. “Obviously, my being here isn’t helping as much as I had thought, if the two of you are just going to stare at each other. I’m going to take a walk and you two talk things out, come to blows if you need to and I’ll be back.”
“Lindsey –” Wesley replied quietly.
“I’ll be back,” he reiterated firmly before kissing Wesley on the cheek. “*Talk*.”
Wesley watched Lindsey until he was out of earshot and then sat down on one of the swings. “I’m happy here, Angel,” he finally said. “What we had back in L.A. never would have worked in the long run.”
“I thought we were doing pretty good,” Angel replied, coming a little closer and standing in front of Wesley.
“Sure, in a very maladaptive way.” Wesley began swaying back and forth. “You were using me both physically and for my expertise and I kept hoping for something more. Sooner or later, something would have exploded. It was better for all of us that I got out of there.”
Angel’s voice took on a plaintive tone as he said, “But you left without even saying good-bye. You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant.” He became angrier, accusing. “You didn’t even tell me you *could* get pregnant.” He began pacing.
“And I’m sorry about that, Angel. For so long, I had had to deal with what I am alone, that it was just second nature by the time I started working with you and Cordelia. It’s just a part of who I am – same with you being a vampire. And it was an honest, stupid mistake on my part in letting myself become pregnant.”
“So you didn’t want to become pregnant?”
“At that point in time? No, I didn’t. But in time – after the initial shock wore off – I did want it. Because it was a part of you that no one else could have and that no one could take away from me.”
“Why didn’t you call me and tell me what was going on?”
“I *did* call you and you never called back. You also never called before I called you – which was *two months* after I left. Fred and Gunn called me all the time to see how I was, but I didn’t get anything from you – not even a ‘hey, no one’s heard from you and that’s not like you and you’re not at your apartment, where the hell are you?’ call. What was I supposed to think?”
Angel shrugged helplessly, not having a good response.
“Honestly, I don’t have anything for you any more, Angel. There were a few months there in the beginning where I still hoped that you would just show up one day and promise to do better and we’d go back to L.A. and be a family. But when day after day came and went and there was nothing, that dream slowly died. Then when you showed up on our doorstep unannounced five months into the pregnancy, I started to hope again. Not for myself this time – but for Zane. That he would know his dad, have a better relationship with him than either of us ever did with ours. But aside from the baby book, there was nothing for the next two and a half months. Then I thought that maybe you were just waiting until Zane was born to start. And then Lindsey started being the good parent and reaching out to you – first with the completed baby book and then with the regular correspondence. But we never heard anything from you. What was I supposed to think, Angel?”
“You never said you weren’t coming back,” Angel said feebly.
“And you also said that you would be involved. We both know I wasn’t looking for money, Angel. Even something as simple as a phone call or a card saying, ‘thanks for the letter – my, he’s getting big,’ would have sufficed.
“Well, if you had come back to L.A. –” Angel continued.
“If I had come back to L.A., what?” Wesley replied bitingly. “We would’ve been a happy family with a dog and a white picket fence? You would have been an attentive father? I know how you were with Connor, Angel, but would it have been different with Zane since there are two of us?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.”
“Look, I’m happy here. Zane’s happy here. Lindsey’s happy here. We’re not moving just because you like having ‘your’ people close to you. We’ve been doing great here and we like it. You can stop worrying about us.”
“How can I tell you that I do want to be more of a part of Zane’s life?”
“You can’t because you did before and nothing happened. You’ll actually have to do something. He doesn’t need big, grand gestures. Little things will work just fine. And you know now that he’s met you, he’s going to ask about you in the future, want to know if you’re going to come visit.”
Angel nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“What will you tell Zane I am?”
“When?”
Angel shrugged. “Whenever.”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t need to know right now, does he? Especially since he’s just met you. As far as he’s concerned, Lindsey’s his other daddy and that’s all he cares about.” Wesley paused for a minute to think. “If, in the future, it seems like it’s important to tell him, we can discuss it and figure something out. Until then, I’m happy leaving things the way they are.”
Angel nodded and smiled slightly. “You know, Lorne’s been telling me for a while that I need to get over myself and start talking to you again and get to know Zane.”
“Smart demon,” Wesley replied. “You should have listened to him.”
“Here comes Lindsey.” Angel gestured with his chin over Wesley’s shoulder. “I should get going. You two need to get back to your family.”
“Okay,” Wesley replied. “I’ll see you in a couple days.”
Angel nodded. “Okay. Goodnight, Wesley.”
“Night, Angel.”
“How did it go?” Lindsey said as he came up.
“Okay,” Wesley replied, standing and moving into Lindsey’s embrace. “Even if I felt like I was talking to a brick wall.”
“Do you think he’ll actually keep in touch this time?”
Wesley half-shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope so – for Zane’s sake.”
“As long as you’re happy with it, I am.”
Wesley smiled. “Let’s go home, shall we?”
Lindsey smiled as well and stole a quick kiss. “Sounds good to me.”
Thursday evening saw Wesley and Stacey at the prison. She had been doing an execution a week there since they started and things had gone exceedingly well. Tonight she was going to try stepping up to two demons a night, to see how that would work.
“How are you feeling?” Wesley asked, as he did before each of the fights.
“Doubly nervous,” she replied with a smile, “because I so don’t want to end up in the hospital or with some nasty gash on my forehead before the ceremony.”
“You’ll be fine,” he replied, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Deep breaths. These two are going to go just like all the other ones. I’ll be over on the sideline, like always, and Marty and the warden are going to be up in the box watching over us.”
She let out a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, give me the five second rundown on the first guy.”
Stacey went through the first guy easily. It probably hadn’t helped that the demon had been resigned to the fact that he was going to die and didn’t put up much of a fight.
“Good job, Stacey,” Wesley said when she was done. “Don’t let yourself get complacent, though. We both know this guy was an exception to the rule.”
She nodded as she rolled her shoulders. “Who’s up next?”
As if to underline Wesley’s point, the next demon was a fireball and put up a fight. There were a few close calls, but Stacey pulled herself out of them gracefully.
“Good work,” Wesley replied when she came to him at the end. “You did very well tonight and I’m very proud of you.”
She blushed a little and said, “Well, I had a good teacher.”
Marty and the warden came down and also gave her their praise, which caused Stacey to blush even more. After helping Wesley to quickly clean and pack the weapons, he took her home.
The rehearsal the following evening went and helped ease a great deal of the nervousness that Wesley was feeling, though he was still convinced that as much as possible was going to go wrong the next day.
As they were getting ready the day of the ceremony, both men were nervous and almost vibrating with anxiety. Zane was an excited ball of energy and it took a lot of coaxing from Elisa to get any of them to eat anything for breakfast. But when they arrived at the church, Lindsey took a deep breath and a relaxed calm settled over his features.
"How did you do that?" Wesley asked.
"Years of performing," Lindsey replied. "And a really bad case of stage fright that Lorne helped me get through. Just think of something good and keep it in your mind's eye."
"And what do you keep there?"
“Nowadays?” Lindsey smiled. "You and Zane."
Wesley took a couple of deep breaths and tried picturing Lindsey and Zane. After a moment, he felt better and said, “Yeah, I’d say it works.”
After checking to make sure the sanctuary was ready, they went to the changing room. As they were adjusting each other's ties, Elisa came in.
"Oh, look at you two! Aren't you just a picture?" Taking in the sight of the two of them together, she simply smiled at them for a moment. Seeing the tartan cummerbunds, she said, "I love the tartan touch. A little bit of tradition in a rather untraditional setting."
They put their boutonnieres on each other, and Wesley looked at his watch. "Well, I guess it's show time."
Lindsey nodded and the three of them moved to the door. Wesley grabbed Lindsey's hand as they exited and walked to the doorway of the sanctuary. Elisa went in and took her seat. Both men took a deep breath and took in the crowd of people that were there to witness their commitment. Making eye contact with Marty, Wesley nodded slightly and "Chapel of Love" by the Dixie Cups started playing. Wesley and Lindsey looked at each other and smiled and as the audience stood, started down the aisle.
Wesley couldn't keep his eyes off of Lindsey. How he had been able to catch the eye and capture the heart of this beautiful, kind man was beyond him. But somehow he had, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world.
Stacey got up to do the first of two readings, and said, "The first time I read this poem in my Lit class, two people came to mind – the two in front of us today, celebrating their love. The poem is 'i carry your heart with me' by e.e. cummings."
"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
"my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
"i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
"by only me is your doing, my darling)
"i fear
"no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
"no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
"and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
"and whatever a sun will always sing is you
"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
"(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
"and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
"higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
"and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
"i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"
As Stacey read, Wesley couldn't help but feel his heart begin to ache with happiness, the words of the poem resonating in him. And he could tell by Lindsey's expression, that he felt the same way.
As she stepped down, Dory got for the second reading. "My reading comes from Kate Chopin's The Awakening. 'Are you in love with Robert?' [Mademoiselle Reisz asked.]
"'Yes,' said Edna. It was the first time she had admitted it, and a glow overspread her face, blotching it with red spots.
"'Why?' asked her companion. 'Why do you love him when you ought not to?'
“'Why? Because his hair is brown and grows away from his temples; because he opens and shuts his eyes, and his nose is a little out of drawing; because he has two lips and a square chin, and a little finger which he can't straighten from having played baseball too energetically in his youth. Because –'
'Because you do, in short,' laughed Mademoiselle. 'What will you do when he comes back?' she asked.
'Do? Nothing, except feel glad and happy to be alive.'"
Wesley's smile grew as he listened because there was truth in what she had read. There may have been many reasons in the beginning for him to not have fallen in love Lindsey, but he had and now he could think of so many reasons why he should have.
"Before we get to the part of the ceremony everyone's been waiting for," David said, "I have a few Bible passages I would like to read. The first comes from 1 Samuel 18:1-4. 'After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends. From that day on Saul kept David with him at the palace and wouldn't let him return home. And Jonathan made a special vow to be David's friend, and he sealed the pact by giving him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.'
"The second reading comes from the book of Ruth, 1:16-17. 'But Ruth replied, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the LORD punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!"
David closed the Bible and smiled. “And now it's time for the recitation of the vows. Lindsey and Wesley have both written their own vows for this occasion."
The two men smiled at each other and tightened their hold on each others' hands. Lindsey gave Wesley a slight nod to go ahead.
Wesley cleared his throat and said, "I, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, take you Lindsey McDonald, to be my wedded husband because you love me for who and what I am. To have and to hold from this day forward, because I know that no matter what happens, I am safe with you. I will be with you for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. And I will love and cherish you because of how you have loved and cherished me and mine," he gave a quick smile to Zane, who was standing next to Jonathan, before looking back at Lindsey. "Until death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness forever." He looked at Zane again and took the ring that Zane was holding up for him and slipped it on Lindsey's ring finger.
Lindsey grinned. "I, Lindsey McDonald, take you, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, to be my wedded husband because you have touched my life in ways I never could have imagined. With you, I feel a profound sense of belonging and a love deeper than I could ever have imagined. Therefore, I pledge from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as well as to love and to cherish, because without you, my life would be less than what it's become, and until death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness forever." He glanced at Zane and took the ring that Zane was now offering him and slipped it on Wesley's ring finger.
They both smiled and looked back at David, who was smiling as well. David said, "In the presence of God and these witnesses, it is my joy to announce that you are now partners for life, bound by your love for each other to walk the rest of this journey we call life together. And, as tradition dictates, it is now time for the kiss."
The crowd applauded as they kissed. After the recessional, they went outside with the wedding party for the pictures as the rest of the guests made their way over to where the reception was being held.
Once Lindsey and Wesley arrived at the reception hall and found their seats, Marty and Jonathan stood up. "We've decided that we're going to be quick about it and do the toasts to the lucky couple now and get them out of the way so we can get on with this shindig," Jonathan said. "So, if you all wouldn't mind raising a glass with me…" After everyone did so, he looked at Wesley and Lindsey and continued, "May God grant you both have long lives, a love that conquers all, and the sanity needed where necessary to raise Zane to become the man he's meant to be. Cheers."
After everyone had drunk, he sat down and Marty said, "I hope that you two will never lie, steal, cheat, or drink – which may be hard, given that you're both working in the legal system." He paused for the smattering of laughter to die out. "But if you must lie, I hope that you lie in the arms of the one you love. And if you must steal, steal away from bad company. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away." He held up his glass again and smiled at Wesley and Lindsey.
Both men were a bit teary – their friends’ words having touched them deeply. After putting their glasses down, they kissed again to their friends’ cheers.
The reception was officially underway. Food was distributed and everyone talked and laughed as they ate.
Once the plates had been cleared away, and before the cutting of the cake, Lindsey went up to the small stage and picked up the guitar that had been sitting on one side of it. “I hope y’all don’t mind, but I’ve been working on something special for Wesley for the past few weeks and I’d like to play it for him now, since I don’t think I’m going to get a better time to do it.”
He quickly tuned it before starting to play a song Wesley hadn’t heard before, his eyes closing in concentration.
“Living with me – it ain’t easy / How do you do it every day / Sometimes even now I want to run away / There you are, you’re trying to please me / You stand your ground / It’s more than I deserve
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve
“It’s just your style to wear a smile / Oh, baby, you wear it well / If I had my way, I’d dress you in nothing else / Come over here and lay down a little while / Because you right now are more than I deserve
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve”
During the interlude, Lindsey opened his eyes and met Wesley’s gaze. All the love he felt was broadcast in that gaze. He sang the chorus one more time, and this time it was for Wesley only.
“I've taken more than I've been given / I take it for granted this life I'm living / And I don't know why heaven above blessed me with your sweet love / I know I never tell you what you're worth / It's more than I deserve”
As Lindsey sang, Wesley was bowled over again by how much he loved the man. When Lindsey was finished, there was wild applause and Lindsey colored a bit as he set the guitar back on its stand. Wesley kissed Lindsey as soon as he sat back down.
“I love you,” he murmured, touching his forehead to Lindsey’s.
“I love you too, babe,” Lindsey whispered back.
Epilogue:
Zane’s fourth birthday and Christmas came and went and before they knew it, it was time for Elisa to head home. And Angel actually did start corresponding with Zane. It wasn’t much – sometimes a postcard with a short note scrawled on the back or a cheesy kids’ card with a note inside and a picture of the L.A. gang. Zane was always thrilled to be getting mail and was determined to always send something back – usually a picture he drew himself.
The next big date on the calendar was the release of Lindsey’s album. As the date crept closer, Lindsey became more on edge, sure something was going to go wrong. A few days before they were due in Oklahoma City for the official release party – an unofficial one having been planned for the following night in Stillwater – Wesley had an appointment with Dr. Gonzales, which went according to plan.
The party itself was crazy. Wesley and Lindsey had left Zane with Marty and Dory for the night before heading down to Oklahoma City. The venue holding the party was packed with a number of executives and socialites hoping to be seen. Wesley and Lindsey were surprised to find that a number of their friends had also traveled to show their support for Lindsey.
The couple was swamped almost from the moment they walked through the door with people asking for autographs and wanting to talk to Lindsey. Wesley hung back, letting Lindsey do his thing, happy to watch his partner doing something he loved.
After doing a set of songs and some more networking, Lindsey and Wesley were able to slip away and back to their hotel.
“What a night!” Lindsey said as they landed on the bed with a laugh. “That was insane!”
“But it looks like you enjoyed every minute of it,” Wesley replied with a smirk.
“Oh, I did,” Lindsey replied as he rolled onto his stomach and pressed against Wesley’s side. “But I think I’m going to enjoy this even more,” and he captured Wesley’s mouth in a hungry kiss.
They undressed each other quickly before resuming their kissing, the adrenaline from the evening fueling their passion. They made love with an intensity that hadn’t been there before the wedding, but that had fueled each of their couplings since.
Afterwards, Lindsey spooned up behind Wesley. "I do have one more surprise for you," Wesley said.
"Oh?" Lindsey replied as he tightened his arms around Wesley and nuzzled and kissed his exposed neck. "And what would that be?"
Wesley intertwined the fingers of one hand with Lindsey’s and laid them over his stomach. "I'm pregnant."
FIN
