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Nov. 10th, 2010 11:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sam_gamgeeHeader and such found in Part One.
And continuing with the story....
Once the sky was completely black and the stars started to come out, he stiffly stood and went back inside.
“Are you okay?” Mikey asked from the kitchen table, where he was now reading the paper.
“I don’t know,” Derrick replied. “You gave me a lot to think about.”
Mikey nodded. “Good. And I wasn’t doing it to be cruel, Derrick. I just want you to be honest with yourself. I’m here to talk, if you want. And I’m willing to help you out in other ways, too, if you’d like a safe outlet to check things out. And you wouldn’t have to worry – I’d be discreet.”
“I have enough to deal with now without adding that to my plate, thank you,” Derrick said. “I think I just want to go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Mikey helped him make up the couch with a sheet, a blanket, and a couple pillows, before disappearing into his bedroom to leave Derrick to do his thing in preparing for bed.
Sleep didn’t come easily for Derrick that night. Even when he was sleeping on the couch at home – he could still hear his lovers in the next room. And there were all the other familiar sounds and smells as well. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea coming here. Maybe he should’ve gotten a hotel room.
Then he wouldn’t be tempted to take the man in the next room up on his offer. To take one of his best friends up on his offer – which was too weird to think about, honestly. But he had to admit – he was curious. How would Mikey compare to Nicholas and Andrew as a kisser? What would he look like when he came? Would Derrick actually be able to have sex with him, or was it just something he was able to do with Nicholas and Andrew? He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow.
Mikey didn’t push him the next day, or the following. Instead, he gave Derrick the peace and quiet he’d sought in removing himself from his home. And Derrick found himself in a bigger mess with each passing hour. Now that Mikey had blown the lock off a door that Derrick hadn’t even known was there, all sorts of things were rushing out of it. He looked at every guy he saw. Really looked. And he jerked off twice during the course of a shower. Both days.
And he was still curious about being with a guy other than Nicholas and Andrew. He knew it was unusual for people to do what he’d done – prior to Nicholas and Andrew, he’d been completely straight and had never thought even once about being with another guy, but after the three of them had agreed to be intimate, it felt completely natural to be with them and he hadn’t missed being with women. He wasn’t sure exactly how bisexual he was, but it didn’t feel unnatural for him.
But he missed “his” guys. He missed the way Andrew rushed out of the apartment in the morning and Nicholas made breakfast. He missed their smiles. And the way Nicholas’ forehead would scrunch together when a project he was working on wasn’t going just the way he wanted. And how Andrew would protest that he didn’t like sports, yet got caught up in whatever game Derrick and Nicholas were watching anyway – usually cheering for the opposing team, just because.
And he missed their kisses. And the way they touched him with such familiarity, and yet somehow it felt new and different each time. And he missed the thousand little things that made their life together what it was – the memories, the laughter, the tears, the self-discovery they’d gone through together over the years. And he knew he couldn’t leave them. Or that any fantasy or curiosity would be worth what he already had.
So, on the fourth day, he took his leave of Mikey’s place, and thanked him profusely for allowing him to stay. And past the initial offer, nothing had been said by either of them of Mikey’s offer of casual sex and Mikey didn’t seem upset that nothing happened – which Derrick was thankful for.
“Any time, man. Any time,” Mikey said as they hugged outside his building. “I’m just glad you got your head out of your ass and realized what a good thing you have.”
“Yeah, me too,” Derrick replied. “Me too.”
“Once you guys get settled again, give me a call and we’ll go out for some beers.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.” They headed their separate ways for work and Derrick felt a lot better.
“Hi, honeys! I’m home!” Derrick called that evening as he entered the apartment and dropped his bag by the door.
“You’re alive!” Andrew said in mock surprise as he practically jumped off the couch. “We weren’t sure if we should call you or the cops.” He pulled Derrick into a tight hug and said, “Welcome home,” before kissing him soundly.
“I know that voice!” Nicholas said, coming out of the bedroom, pulling on a t-shirt. Andrew moved aside to let Nicholas hug Derrick. “I’m glad you came back,” he said before kissing Derrick.
“Was there really any doubt?” Derrick asked in surprise.
“No, not really. But after everything, there was a tiny niggling bit of worry. Do you feel better? Is there anything we can do to prove that we’re still completely committed to you being a part of this relationship?”
“I think I’m good – or at least getting there. And just be yourselves. And I need to tell you two something.”
“That’s never good,” Andrew intoned as Derrick took one of their hands and led them over to the couch.
“I doubt it’s as bad as you think,” Nicholas replied dryly as they settled on the couch, Nicholas and Andrew flanking Derrick. “What’s up?”
“I, um, I did a lot of thinking over the past couple days and Mikey was invaluable in pushing me to this line of thought. I think I was being an idiot; not because I was afraid the two of you were going to get rid of me now that Ariel’s grown – especially since we know that you two wanted at least one kid before I came along. But I think moving Ariel into college and seeing all the college guys threw me back to when we went to college. And now that I’m fully cognizant of who I am, it made me subconsciously freak out that I wasn’t going to get a chance to explore that part of myself. But I really don’t regret it. At all. I love the two of you and I love what we have and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“And we feel the same way,” Andrew replied.
“And he offered to ‘be of practical assistance’ if I felt I needed it – very discreetly, of course. I obviously didn’t take him up on it. But I did think about it. I wanted to let you guys know that that got thrown out there.”
“Thank you,” Nicholas said. “What do you need from us now? Do the three of us need to consider giving you a chance to ‘sow your wild oats’ or whatever you want to call it?”
Derrick shook his head. “No, I’m good. Really. I’m sure I’ll always be intrigued if I could have made it work with someone who wasn’t either of you two, but it’ll be a random, passing thought – same as anyone else, I’m sure.”
“Are you coming back to bed with us?” Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I would like to,” Derrick admitted, “but I’m sure I deserve to sleep on the couch for a couple nights for the way I’ve been treating you both.”
“I think you’ve done your time and then some,” Nicholas said, standing. He grabbed Derrick and Andrew’s hands and pulled them up. “Come on, we have some catching up to do.”
The next evening, Andrew was working late and they hadn’t made any plans for dinner. So Nicholas quickly scribbled a note for Andrew, and said, “Come on, let’s go get some dinner.”
“I thought we weren’t doing dinner tonight,” Derrick said, glancing at the time on the DVD player.
“We’re not doing dinner as a trio, but we still gotta eat,” Nicholas replied, flicking off the TV. “Come on. I was thinking pizza and skee ball.”
“Pizza and skee ball?” Derrick asked hesitantly, but he was interested. “We haven’t done that in a long time.”
“I know and I really want to – and I know how much you love it. Let’s go.”
“Let me find my shoes,” Derrick said as he got up and Nicholas waited by the door.
They headed out to Derrick’s favorite pizza place first. Derrick had to admit, it was nice being alone with Nicholas. The two of them had always gotten along, even when they were little, as if they knew what the other was thinking.
“I remember you did this for four birthdays in a row,” Nicholas commented after they got their drinks.
“And I loved it every time,” Derrick replied. “Then my parents bribed me to do something else the next year. I think you and I were the arcade’s best customers from the time we hit junior high on.”
“Didn’t we get a Playstation that way?”
“We did and your parents still have custody of it last I checked.”
Their pizza came and they spent the rest of the meal talking about all sorts of normal things, and if Derrick was willing to pretend, he could believe that he and Nicholas were just having a night out without Andrew and that they weren’t getting back into the groove from his insanity. And he felt the tension in his body slowly loosen as the night wore on. He wanted so badly to believe that they could make this work.
They walked down the street to the arcade in companionable silence. Nicholas went to the change booth before joining Derrick with a roll of quarters.
“Ready to play?” he asked mischievously. “Winner gets choice.”
“As always,” Derrick replied. “You’re on, Nicholas Thayden. Prepare to be annihilated.”
“Game on,” Nicholas replied, breaking open the roll of quarters.
They divided the quarters and started playing. They didn’t talk much while they played beyond exclamations of triumph, curses, laughter, and various bits of trash talk woven together. The shared glances and exchanged smiles told Derrick how much Nicholas was also hoping this would help make things right between them.
When they finished the roll of quarters, they totaled up their tickets and found they were tied. They searched their pockets and Derrick triumphantly pulled out two quarters. They played one more game and Derrick won by one ticket.
“Man, that was close!” he laughed as they both handed over their tickets to a surprised kid at the prize counter.
“Yeah, and it was a lot of fun,” Nicholas added with a chuckle as they exited and headed back to their car. “So, what’s your choice?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”
Both Nicholas and Derrick’s cell phones beeped at the same time as they got in the car and they looked at them. Seeing the text from Andrew, they both smiled.
“‘Be out late, don’t wait up’?” Derrick replied. “Think we should worry he’s found a newer, younger model?”
Both of them laughed and Nicholas replied, “With the amount of Andy’s things that are younger than Ariel, I don’t think we have anything to worry about,” and began typing a response back.
“Very true.”
After sending the text, Nicholas asked, “How are you doing? Really.”
“Really?” Derrick replied thoughtfully as Nicholas started the drive home. “Okay, I guess.”
“You know both Andy and I love you, right? And that we trust you completely?”
“Logically, yes, I know that. But that doesn’t keep me from letting my mind play tricks on me, you know?”
Nicholas nodded. “And you know that if either Andy or I did have a problem with some part of our relationship with you, we would have said something by now, right?”
“Again, I know that logically.”
Without looking, Nicholas reached over and ruffled Derrick’s dark hair before letting his arm rest on Derrick’s shoulder. “And you know you’re being silly, right?”
“Yep,” Derrick replied with a nod, as he continued looking out the windshield. “And I wish I could stop myself.” He sighed. “But I never expected this when we started this all those years ago.”
“Neither did Andy or I,” Nicholas replied with a laugh. “We figured it’d be a month, more or less – during which you would have figured out whether or not you like guys and I would have gotten my unrequited love for you out of my system and that’d be that and we go on with our lives, me and Andy and Ariel together and you and whoever. But somewhere along the way, the three of us kept making plans together and our lives kept becoming more intertwined and, at least for me, everything just seemed so natural. I guess it would have been a good idea for us to actually talk about it, wouldn’t it?”
“Too late for that now, though, isn’t it?” Derrick replied ruefully. “But you’re right – we just let things happen as they happened and everything was just so damn easy that we didn’t think about it. I think we were all worried that if we looked too closely, then things would break, or become too complicated, or we’d see how weird it really is, and, like everyone else, we don’t want to face the hard things.”
Stopping at a red light, Nicholas nodded and, playfully flicking Derrick’s ear, said, “I agree.” Derrick rolled his eyes and grabbed Nicholas’ hand, bringing it down to hold between his hand and his thigh. When Derrick didn’t say anything else, Nicholas, turning his hand and interlacing their fingers, said, “It’s not Andy and I plus you, you know. It’s just you and me and Andy. It’s been that way for a long time – since a few months in, I think. At least in mine and Andy’s books. I never really thought about it until now, but it seems like every once in a while, you make that distinction.”
“It’s not intentional,” Derrick replied, blushing slightly at being called out. “I just – even after almost twenty years, I still can’t get my head around the fact that the three of us are completely integrated.”
“Cultural programming’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Nicholas asked wryly as they pulled into their parking lot.
“Like you have no idea. How do you deal with it?” Derrick asked.
Nicholas shrugged as he parked and turned the car off. Shifting to look at Derrick, he said, “I honestly don’t know. I just know that I love you and Andy more than I thought I could ever love anyone else and I can’t see myself without either of you right where you are. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I had to make myself adjust my thinking, but after a while, it became natural and no longer seemed weird to think and say, ‘my partners and I’ instead of ‘my partner and I’. And I did have to watch myself a little more closely. Even if people are more open about gay couples, threesomes – especially same-gender ones – are still considered really out there. But I also made a vow to myself that I wasn’t ever going to be dishonest about either of you. Which made me feel bad that you can’t be as open.”
“That’s what I get for working in the educational system,” Derrick replied dryly. “But, you’re right, things have gotten better overall for us. And most days I don’t think about it. What we have is what it is and I feel like the luckiest guy on the face of the planet to have two exceptional guys to call my own and an awesome niece.”
Nicholas leaned in and kissed Derrick softly. He reached up with his free hand and cupped the side of Derrick’s face, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb. Breaking the kiss short, he said, “I love you,” and rubbed his nose against Derrick’s.
“Love you too,” Derrick replied with a small smile. “I’ve made my decision. I just want to cuddle tonight.”
Nicholas rolled his eyes and leaned his forehead against Derrick’s and let out a sad sigh. “You don’t have to ask that. It’s your rightful place to voice your needs as much as it is mine and Andy’s.”
“But I’ve been acting like such an asshole lately.”
“Yes, you have,” Nicholas agreed. “But you should know by now how much we love you. Come on, let’s go in.”
“Seatbelt digging into your thigh?” Derrick teased.
“Just a little. But I want to show you just how much I’ve missed you.”
They went up to the apartment and, once inside, Nicholas kissed Derrick deeply, cupping Derrick’s face in his hands and pressing his body against Derrick.
Derrick sighed. “I have missed the tactile part of our relationship.”
“Of course you have, Mr. Hands,” Nicholas teased. “We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want. We could just cuddle on the couch and watch TV or something.”
Derrick nodded. “That sounds good. I think I just need some reassurance right now.”
Nicholas made a face. “I think I’m getting old because I want to get a shower first – I feel stinky. Want to join me?”
“From playing skee ball?” Derrick replied. “You are getting old. But I’m not going to say no when I get to look at a body like yours.”
Nicholas headed towards the bathroom. “Be glad we’re together, then. I don’t show this body off to just anyone,” he replied with a smirk and shook his ass at Derrick. Derrick laughed and followed him into the bathroom.
They quickly disrobed and threw their dirty clothes in the hamper. Unable to resist, Nicholas leaned in and kissed Derrick deeply again, and Derrick enjoyed the feel of skin against skin. Nicholas was a little broader than he was, but they were almost the same height – which was a nice contrast to Andrew, who was a few inches taller than both of them and built like a beanpole. Derrick responded just as hungrily, as Nicholas splayed one hand against his back, the other cupping his ass. Nicholas couldn’t help gently undulating his groin against Derrick’s, and they both moaned softly at the contact.
Derrick regretfully pulled back and said, “I’m not quite ready for that tonight. I know I’m still being silly, but not yet.”
“Okay,” Nicholas replied, getting in the shower. “Coming?”
“Oh, definitely,” Derrick said, joining him. “Just not – you know.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Nicholas laughed and turned on the water. “No problemo,” Nicholas reassured and began washing Derrick. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“Definitely on the same page,” Derrick told him with a smile, feeling his cock stir slightly as Nicholas washed lower, but knew there was no way anything was going to happen tonight.
When Nicholas was done, Derrick happily returned the favor, taking the same care he’d been shown and wanting to show Nicholas through his actions that he honestly did still love him, even if he didn’t completely understand what he was going through himself. And, if he was completely truthful with himself, something as simple as this was a thousand times better than the sexiest night he’d ever had with a stranger and even with his inner chaos, he wouldn’t trade a minute of it.
He chuckled softly and Nicholas commented, “I didn’t think my kneecap was that funny.”
“It’s not,” Derrick replied. “I just remembered how the three of us were when we were first getting to know each other and how uncoordinated we were. And now it’s so easy.”
“But perfect,” Nicholas said, lifting Derrick’s chin so he could kiss Derrick.
Derrick hummed lightly when they pulled apart. “Definitely perfect.”
Once they’d dried and dressed in their pajamas, they settled on the couch, Derrick in between Nicholas’ legs, his back against Nicholas’ chest, an arm casually wrapped around Nicholas’ knee, and Nicholas’ arms casually wrapped around Derrick’s chest. They watched TV for a while, every once in a while caressing a part of the other’s body or Nicholas bestowing a kiss on Derrick’s head and shoulder.
When they began to fall asleep, they headed into the master bedroom, shucking their clothes before getting into bed. Nicholas made sure Derrick was in the middle of the bed and spooned up behind him, an arm wrapped around Derrick’s waist, and Derrick’s fingers intertwined with his. Nicholas kissed the base of Derrick’s neck and pressed his nose against it before falling asleep.
The next morning, as they were getting ready for work, Andrew asked, “What are we doing for dinner?”
“I have that presentation this afternoon at four,” Nicholas said, “and I have a feeling it’s going to take forever, since it’s for the picky clients.”
“Which ones?” Derrick asked. “You have five or six of those.”
“The ones who change their minds five times before they end up convincing themselves that my original design is the one they want.” He sighed. “And we go through this every single time. You’d think they’d trust me by now, seeing as how I’ve been doing their graphics for years.”
“Good luck,” Andrew said, depositing a kiss on the top of Nicholas’ head before sitting down with a cup of coffee. “Want to go grab a bite to eat after work?” he asked Derrick. “It’ll give us some time to ourselves. Especially since I missed skee ball last night.”
“You hate skee ball,” Derrick replied, not looking up from the newspaper.
“I don’t hate it when the two of you are playing it,” Andrew corrected. “How about it?”
Derrick shrugged and looked up at Andrew. “Okay.”
Glancing at his watch, Andrew cursed and stood. “Think about where you want to eat and call me when you get a chance, okay?”
Derrick nodded and accepted a kiss from Andrew, before watching Andrew kiss Nicholas and head out the door, grabbing his messenger bag on the way and heard Derrick ask in amusement, “Doesn’t he do that every morning?”
“Yep,” Nicholas replied and Andrew could hear the smile in his voice. “Every morning for the past twenty-five years.”
Derrick called Andrew that afternoon as Andrew was about to leave work and they agreed to meet at a Mexican restaurant halfway between Andrew’s work and their apartment. As he disconnected, Derrick felt a little better.
Seeing Andrew pull into the parking lot, Derrick stood from where he had been sitting on one of the benches and his heart did a little flip, like it did every time he saw one of his lovers, even with everything he was going through.
Andrew parked near the door and, after getting out, smiled and said, “Hey, you.”
Derrick replied, “Hey yourself. How was traffic?”
“Not too bad.” They kissed each other on the cheek. “How was public transit?”
“Insane. But not enough to make me consider learning how to drive.”
Andrew chuckled as they went inside. “I’ve got to give you credit for that. I wouldn’t be able to put up with it as long as you have.”
“It’s my superpower.”
“I think your superpower is putting up with Nicholas and me.”
“Wouldn’t that still fall under extreme patience?”
“You got me there.”
They were seated and started looking through the menu. Once they ordered, Andrew asked, “How was your day?”
“Good. Though, in-service always sucks. The kids’ll be back soon, so that’s something to look forward to. How did your wine and dine go last night?”
“It went well. The library now has some new donors and I’m going to be busy for a while with genealogies.”
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” Derrick said, munching on a tortilla chip. “And you know you enjoy it.”
“I do,” Andrew replied with a nod. “It’s a part of why I started doing my job in the first place.” He dipped a chip in the salsa. “Love you,” he said randomly.
“Love you too.” And Andrew’s grin warmed Derrick from the inside out. Andrew had always been the more reserved of the three of them and Derrick knew it had taken a lot of work for Andrew to be comfortable with communicating his needs and admitting his feelings.
But this time he jumped right in and asked, “What can I do to prove myself to you?”
Derrick shrugged and focused on getting a piece of tomato out of the salsa cup with his chip. “You don’t need to do anything. I was being stupid and not acknowledging a part of myself and now that I have, I just need to work through it. Intellectually, I know that we’re all in this together as equals. But for some reason, I feel like I need to play catch-up, since I came to the ‘gay side’ later than the two of you.”
Andrew chuckled and put a hand on Derrick’s wrist. “Believe me, you’re not missing out on much. Nicholas and I both went through the whole figuring ourselves out thing at about the same time in high school and neither of us wanted to play the field when we got to college. And I wouldn’t trade what we have right now for anything. The past eighteen years have been amazing, Derrick, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“But things would have been easier for you and Thay without me.”
Andrew shrugged and gently stroked Derrick’s wrist with his thumb. “Possibly. It’s definitely gotten easier for people to see two men together and three is still really weird, but he and I would still have had problems regardless of whether or not you were with us. Granted, some of the problems would have been different, but it wouldn’t have always been smooth sailing – same as any other couple. You’ve had a harder time than either of us – at least where coworkers are concerned. But having you around that first year after my sister died was invaluable. Don’t get me wrong – Nicholas was great, and his knowledge of when I was serious and when I wasn’t about being left alone was invaluable those first three months, I think you came into our lives at exactly the right time because you didn’t know and you never let me brood for too long.”
Derrick turned his hand and squeezed Andrew’s hand, then released it so their food could be placed in front of him.
“And between the two of you, you helped me keep things in perspective and want to keep going for Ariel’s sake.”
“And for ours too,” Derrick gently corrected as they started eating. “You mean the world to Thay and I know he cared deeply for your sister too. And you quickly came to mean a lot to me as well. I just….” He sighed. “I wish I could shut down the part of me that’s saying I’m not good enough for the two of you. And that I need to check out the rest of the field.”
“You know that’s bullshit,” Andrew said matter-of-factly. “You have every right to be an equal part of this relationship – and neither of us intended for you to feel differently. Out of curiosity, what made you think that we only wanted you around to take care of Ariel and that we were exploiting your curiosity?”
“For starters, I never thought you were ‘exploiting my curiosity’. We were all getting something that we wanted out of it. And, if anything, I was exploiting Thay’s relationship with you to have access to someone who was a bit more impartial towards me.” Derrick thought for a minute. “And I don’t really know what made me think you two were taking advantage of me. Maybe it was the casual expectation that since I was sticking around, I would help take care of Ariel – which I get. And I’m sure I brought a lot of it on myself, considering I took to her like a duck to water right from the start.” He chuckled to himself. “And this coming from someone who’d never wanted kids to begin with. And I think I just subconsciously assumed some wrong things – like that the two of you would love any help you could get in reclaiming as much of your original lives as possible.”
“Even though our new lives had taken a new direction quicker than we were expecting and we were adjusting to it with all the bumps you would expect of two guys suddenly caring for a newborn baby,” Andrew replied with a knowing smile. “And she fit in pretty well to our ‘original lives’, considering how dull and boring they were.”
“Exactly.” He laughed and took a bite of his burrito. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. There’s a lot to be said for the simple, domestic life – take it from a convert. Like I said – wrong assumptions. And believe me, it wasn’t something I was even aware I was thinking or feeling until we were faced with the fact that Ariel was starting the next phase of her life. I should probably get my head examined for thinking such nutty things.”
Andrew chuckled and took a sip of his beer. “I’m sure that if you did, you’d be classified as perfectly normal. We all think things like that from time to time. Want to know how many times over the years I thought the two of you would kick me to the curb? You’re both very good looking – you with your dark European good-looks and Nicholas with his blond all-American ones; and here I am – looking like an Irish beanpole with glasses.” He paused to take a bite of rice. “And I know there were at least a few times at the beginning of our relationship where Nicholas was feeling uncertain too. I know he didn’t say anything to me, and I doubt he did with you either, but I saw the looks he’d get – like he thought I would decide I liked the ‘newer model’ better and run away with you.”
Derrick smiled wryly. “So we’re basically all screwed up, is what you’re saying.”
Andrew pushed his glasses up his nose. “Yep. And we all have doubts and if none of us did over the course of eighteen years, I think I’d be more worried. And I know a lot of our married friends have doubts and worries too. So I think it’s safe to say that you’re a completely normal guy, Derrick Previtti. Now eat your dinner and think about what I’ve said.”
They both laughed at Andrew’s gentle admonishment, remembering the times he’d used it on Ariel when she got in trouble. Derrick let out a slow breath and concentrated on his meal. He honestly did feel better now that he and Andrew had talked and it felt like things were clicking back into place, finally allowing himself to believe that he really was just being stupidly crazy.
When they got into Andrew’s car afterwards, Andrew leaned over and kissed Derrick softly on the lips. “I love you, Derrick, and I know Nicholas does too. And, I’m sorry to say this, but you’re stuck with the two of us for the rest of our lives.”
And, on cue, their phones beeped. They both laughed and checked them, finding a text from Nicholas – “Love you xoxo” was all it said.
“We’re such a bunch of saps, aren’t we?” Derrick asked as they both texted him back.
“Oh, yeah,” Andrew replied with a smile and a nod as he concentrated on his phone. “But I love it.”
“Me too. Me too.”
Texts sent, they headed home. “So, I think there’s a baseball game on tonight,” Andrew said.
“You hate baseball,” Derrick replied.
“Not when you’re watching.”
Derrick rolled his eyes in amusement. “You just like the floor show.”
“Not going to deny that.” Andrew glanced at Derrick and smiled. “And I like the post-game show too.”
“That’s just because you know you’re going to get laid.”
“I’d get laid regardless. It’s just more fun when the two of you are riled up,” Andrew teased.
“Okay, not going to argue there. And I’m going to remind you of this when the hockey season starts.”
“Only fair.”
Nicholas was home when they got in. “Hey,” he said with a smile and stood to greet them. “You’re back earlier than I expected.”
“We can leave and come back, if you want,” Andrew replied, accepting a kiss.
“No, no. I’m good. I’m glad you’re back, actually. I was getting kind of lonely without you.”
And now that Andrew had mentioned it, Derrick was able to see the faint look of desperation in Nicholas’ eyes and hear the slight note of pleading in his voice. “Good,” he said, accepting his kiss. “Because I was hoping we could watch the game together. And from what it sounds like, there’s a good chance of getting laid afterwards.” His eyes darted to Andrew, Nicholas’ eyes following, and they both grinned.
Andrew raised his hand in a ‘hold on’ gesture. “I merely intimated that it was a good possibility, seeing as how I enjoy watching you two watch baseball.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Nicholas replied with an amused look. “Like you don’t secretly like the game too. I take it dinner went well?”
Both Andrew and Derrick nodded and Derrick said, “Dinner went very well. And I want to thank both of you for putting up with me while I was being an idiot.”
“Yes, you were,” Nicholas agreed. “But we all have our moments.” He slung an arm around Derrick’s shoulders as the three of them moved towards the couch. “And I’m glad you’re back with us now.” He kissed Derrick’s temple and pulled him down onto the couch. After some fiddling, they were comfortably curled up together to watch the game and, true to form, Derrick and Nicholas were quite vocal about it and Andrew was quietly amused.
Once the game finished, Andrew clicked off the TV and kissed Derrick’s shoulder. “I think it’s time we showed you exactly how much we’ve missed having you with us in every sense of the word.”
“Yeah,” Nicholas added, turning to look at Derrick, “and why you’re not allowed to sleep on the couch ever again – unless you’re sick. Andrew’s had to convince me a number of times that I am actually nowhere near being in danger of permanent blue balls.”
Derrick looked at Nicholas for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Really? I thought we went over that in high school sex-ed.”
“We might have, but it’s easily forgotten when you’re in the middle of a dry spell after having a very regular run.”
“And approaching middle age,” Andrew added in amusement. “Come on, before my thigh joins my foot and calf in being asleep.”
The three of them carefully disentangled themselves from each other and the couch. And, upon standing, Andrew was the first to pull Derrick close. “As the ‘impartial party’, I’d like to make the first move.” Nicholas gave him a quizzical look, but Derrick snorted as Andrew bent down and kissed him. Passionately.
Derrick could feel his toes tingling and he knew it wasn’t because his foot was waking up. He groaned into Andrew’s mouth and splayed his hands across Andrew’s back, pulling him even closer. Andrew tangled a hand in Derrick’s hair and the pressed other against the small of Derrick’s back.
Nicholas tapped their shoulders and asked, “May I cut in?”
They both took an arm and pulled him in to join them. Nicholas kissed Derrick first, maddeningly light at first, letting Derrick dictate the pace. When Derrick deepened the kiss, Nicholas smiled against his mouth and kissed him back just as hungrily. Then he moved to kiss Andrew while Derrick moved behind Nicholas and ran his hands underneath Nicholas’ t-shirt, loving the feel of his skin. He circled his arms around Nicholas’ front and gently teased his nipples. Nicholas moaned into Andrew’s mouth and gently bucked against Andrew before pressing back against Derrick.
Derrick had missed this. Not just the physical closeness, as much as he enjoyed it, but the feeling of easy intimacy between the three of them. And the fact that he had been quickly proven wrong and assured of his place in the relationship made him feel exceedingly grateful that he had managed to find two such incredible people.
He carefully traced his fingertips down Nicholas’ stomach and around his belly-button and teased the line of skin above his waistband. Nicholas groaned and leaned his head back against Derrick’s shoulder. Derrick took the opportunity to lay a line of kisses down Nicholas’ throat from his jaw down to his shoulder before pressing against Nicholas and accepting another kiss from Andrew, who was pressed against Nicholas’ front and gently rocking his growing erection against Nicholas’.
“Oh, God, you two,” Nicholas shakily breathed. “We need to get into bed, now.”
“Or we could do it out here,” Derrick murmured in his ear. “We’re going to be alone all evening.” Nicholas groaned again as Derrick pushed a hand below the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear and began gently stroking his cock.
“God, you’re both so beautiful like this,” Andrew said. “But let’s go to bed.”
The next morning, Derrick stretched and groaned. He felt relaxed and comfortable. As well as well-loved and well-fucked. He smiled at that.
“Stop thinking,” Andrew mumbled into his shoulder.
“I’m not thinking,” Derrick whispered before pressing his lips against Andrew’s forehead.
“You’re about to,” Nicholas replied from his other side. “Go back to sleep. We don’t have to get up for at least another hour.”
“It’s not Saturday,” Derrick reminded them. “And the alarm’s going to go off any second.”
The alarm started beeping and Nicholas groaned as he reached over to turn it off. “I hate it when you do that. I could have used those couple of minutes of sleep, but your thinking woke me up.”
“I wasn’t thinking!” Derrick protested. “Or brooding. Or anything like that.”
“Think of it as a preemptive shushing, then,” Andrew replied, leaning up to kiss Derrick. “Morning.”
“Good morning to you too.” Derrick kissed Nicholas and said, “Forgive me, Thay?”
Nicholas smiled. “After last night? Yes.” He leaned across Derrick and kissed Andrew. “Okay, time to get up.” He threw the covers off of them, to Derrick and Andrew’s protests, and got out of bed. “I’ll make breakfast if the two of you are up in the next two seconds.”
Derrick and Andrew quickly scrambled out of bed. “Get moving, Emeril,” Andrew said, heading to the bathroom. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Not my fault,” Nicholas replied, pulling on Derrick’s sweatpants before moving towards the kitchen.
Derrick laughed at the two of them and started making the bed. When he was done, he joined Andrew in the bathroom. When they finished, Andrew took over cooking and Nicholas disappeared into the bathroom. Andrew ate most of his breakfast while it was cooking, but was able to join Derrick and Nicholas at the table for a few minutes before glancing at his watch, cursing, kissing them both, and then running out the door.
“It’s probably good we make lunches for the week Sunday night,” Derrick said dryly.
Nicholas shook his head in amusement as he began cleaning up the dishes. “I’m glad we were able to convince you that we’re serious about you.”
“Me too,” Derrick replied, putting his dishes on the counter next to the sink and wrapping his arms around Nicholas. “I’d rather not think about what would’ve happened if you two had kicked me out for being idiot. I’m sure it would’ve been a pitiful sight – I doubt anyone would take a wreck like me in.”
“Oh, please,” Nicholas said, swatting his arm. “You could bat your eyelashes and have a crowd of people falling over themselves to help you out. I highly doubt you’d have to resort to turning tricks to supplement your income or have to find a sugar daddy to take care of you.”
“You never know! It’s a hard world out there!”
Nicholas placed a quick peck on Derrick’s lips. “Then be glad that you’re our wreck and that there’s no way we’d turn you in for a newer model or downsize.”
“Is that supposed to reassure me?”
“Technically.” His brow creased in worry. “Is it not working?”
Derrick thought about it for a moment. “It is in a weird Pretty Woman sort of way.”
“Good. Because you need to get moving and I want to make sure you’ll be coming home for dinner.”
Derrick smacked the back of Nicholas’ head. “Of course I’ll be home for dinner, doofus. It’s my turn to cook and I take it very seriously.”
“Don’t we know it.” He stole another kiss before pulling away. “See you later.”
“Love you,” Derrick said.
“Love you too,” Nicholas replied.
Derrick hummed softly on his way down to the transit stop. Life was good again. And he needed to think of a few ways to show his guys how much he loved them. It would definitely have to be more than just a regular weeknight dinner, though. He knew that they had both been wanting some little things – dvds, cds, books and the like, but had been hesitating on buying them because of wanting to watch their budget. Maybe he could spoil them a bit that way. Or maybe a long weekend away. They’d been talking about going to Seattle for a while. He mulled over it on his way into work.
Sallie, one of the teachers he was actually close to, joined him on his way into the building. “You’re in a good mood this morning,” she commented. “Get laid last night?”
“Yes, I did,” he replied with a smile.
“Who was it this time?” she asked in amusement. “Some twenty-something blonde bimbo?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells,” he replied lightly. “But the blond is neither twenty-something nor a bimbo. And neither is the redhead.”
He smiled to himself as she stopped in the middle of the hallway and gaped at him as he continued into his classroom. It would be fun to let her mull over that for a while. And he was definitely going take Nicholas and Andrew to Seattle.
And continuing with the story....
Once the sky was completely black and the stars started to come out, he stiffly stood and went back inside.
“Are you okay?” Mikey asked from the kitchen table, where he was now reading the paper.
“I don’t know,” Derrick replied. “You gave me a lot to think about.”
Mikey nodded. “Good. And I wasn’t doing it to be cruel, Derrick. I just want you to be honest with yourself. I’m here to talk, if you want. And I’m willing to help you out in other ways, too, if you’d like a safe outlet to check things out. And you wouldn’t have to worry – I’d be discreet.”
“I have enough to deal with now without adding that to my plate, thank you,” Derrick said. “I think I just want to go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Mikey helped him make up the couch with a sheet, a blanket, and a couple pillows, before disappearing into his bedroom to leave Derrick to do his thing in preparing for bed.
Sleep didn’t come easily for Derrick that night. Even when he was sleeping on the couch at home – he could still hear his lovers in the next room. And there were all the other familiar sounds and smells as well. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea coming here. Maybe he should’ve gotten a hotel room.
Then he wouldn’t be tempted to take the man in the next room up on his offer. To take one of his best friends up on his offer – which was too weird to think about, honestly. But he had to admit – he was curious. How would Mikey compare to Nicholas and Andrew as a kisser? What would he look like when he came? Would Derrick actually be able to have sex with him, or was it just something he was able to do with Nicholas and Andrew? He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow.
Mikey didn’t push him the next day, or the following. Instead, he gave Derrick the peace and quiet he’d sought in removing himself from his home. And Derrick found himself in a bigger mess with each passing hour. Now that Mikey had blown the lock off a door that Derrick hadn’t even known was there, all sorts of things were rushing out of it. He looked at every guy he saw. Really looked. And he jerked off twice during the course of a shower. Both days.
And he was still curious about being with a guy other than Nicholas and Andrew. He knew it was unusual for people to do what he’d done – prior to Nicholas and Andrew, he’d been completely straight and had never thought even once about being with another guy, but after the three of them had agreed to be intimate, it felt completely natural to be with them and he hadn’t missed being with women. He wasn’t sure exactly how bisexual he was, but it didn’t feel unnatural for him.
But he missed “his” guys. He missed the way Andrew rushed out of the apartment in the morning and Nicholas made breakfast. He missed their smiles. And the way Nicholas’ forehead would scrunch together when a project he was working on wasn’t going just the way he wanted. And how Andrew would protest that he didn’t like sports, yet got caught up in whatever game Derrick and Nicholas were watching anyway – usually cheering for the opposing team, just because.
And he missed their kisses. And the way they touched him with such familiarity, and yet somehow it felt new and different each time. And he missed the thousand little things that made their life together what it was – the memories, the laughter, the tears, the self-discovery they’d gone through together over the years. And he knew he couldn’t leave them. Or that any fantasy or curiosity would be worth what he already had.
So, on the fourth day, he took his leave of Mikey’s place, and thanked him profusely for allowing him to stay. And past the initial offer, nothing had been said by either of them of Mikey’s offer of casual sex and Mikey didn’t seem upset that nothing happened – which Derrick was thankful for.
“Any time, man. Any time,” Mikey said as they hugged outside his building. “I’m just glad you got your head out of your ass and realized what a good thing you have.”
“Yeah, me too,” Derrick replied. “Me too.”
“Once you guys get settled again, give me a call and we’ll go out for some beers.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.” They headed their separate ways for work and Derrick felt a lot better.
“Hi, honeys! I’m home!” Derrick called that evening as he entered the apartment and dropped his bag by the door.
“You’re alive!” Andrew said in mock surprise as he practically jumped off the couch. “We weren’t sure if we should call you or the cops.” He pulled Derrick into a tight hug and said, “Welcome home,” before kissing him soundly.
“I know that voice!” Nicholas said, coming out of the bedroom, pulling on a t-shirt. Andrew moved aside to let Nicholas hug Derrick. “I’m glad you came back,” he said before kissing Derrick.
“Was there really any doubt?” Derrick asked in surprise.
“No, not really. But after everything, there was a tiny niggling bit of worry. Do you feel better? Is there anything we can do to prove that we’re still completely committed to you being a part of this relationship?”
“I think I’m good – or at least getting there. And just be yourselves. And I need to tell you two something.”
“That’s never good,” Andrew intoned as Derrick took one of their hands and led them over to the couch.
“I doubt it’s as bad as you think,” Nicholas replied dryly as they settled on the couch, Nicholas and Andrew flanking Derrick. “What’s up?”
“I, um, I did a lot of thinking over the past couple days and Mikey was invaluable in pushing me to this line of thought. I think I was being an idiot; not because I was afraid the two of you were going to get rid of me now that Ariel’s grown – especially since we know that you two wanted at least one kid before I came along. But I think moving Ariel into college and seeing all the college guys threw me back to when we went to college. And now that I’m fully cognizant of who I am, it made me subconsciously freak out that I wasn’t going to get a chance to explore that part of myself. But I really don’t regret it. At all. I love the two of you and I love what we have and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“And we feel the same way,” Andrew replied.
“And he offered to ‘be of practical assistance’ if I felt I needed it – very discreetly, of course. I obviously didn’t take him up on it. But I did think about it. I wanted to let you guys know that that got thrown out there.”
“Thank you,” Nicholas said. “What do you need from us now? Do the three of us need to consider giving you a chance to ‘sow your wild oats’ or whatever you want to call it?”
Derrick shook his head. “No, I’m good. Really. I’m sure I’ll always be intrigued if I could have made it work with someone who wasn’t either of you two, but it’ll be a random, passing thought – same as anyone else, I’m sure.”
“Are you coming back to bed with us?” Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I would like to,” Derrick admitted, “but I’m sure I deserve to sleep on the couch for a couple nights for the way I’ve been treating you both.”
“I think you’ve done your time and then some,” Nicholas said, standing. He grabbed Derrick and Andrew’s hands and pulled them up. “Come on, we have some catching up to do.”
The next evening, Andrew was working late and they hadn’t made any plans for dinner. So Nicholas quickly scribbled a note for Andrew, and said, “Come on, let’s go get some dinner.”
“I thought we weren’t doing dinner tonight,” Derrick said, glancing at the time on the DVD player.
“We’re not doing dinner as a trio, but we still gotta eat,” Nicholas replied, flicking off the TV. “Come on. I was thinking pizza and skee ball.”
“Pizza and skee ball?” Derrick asked hesitantly, but he was interested. “We haven’t done that in a long time.”
“I know and I really want to – and I know how much you love it. Let’s go.”
“Let me find my shoes,” Derrick said as he got up and Nicholas waited by the door.
They headed out to Derrick’s favorite pizza place first. Derrick had to admit, it was nice being alone with Nicholas. The two of them had always gotten along, even when they were little, as if they knew what the other was thinking.
“I remember you did this for four birthdays in a row,” Nicholas commented after they got their drinks.
“And I loved it every time,” Derrick replied. “Then my parents bribed me to do something else the next year. I think you and I were the arcade’s best customers from the time we hit junior high on.”
“Didn’t we get a Playstation that way?”
“We did and your parents still have custody of it last I checked.”
Their pizza came and they spent the rest of the meal talking about all sorts of normal things, and if Derrick was willing to pretend, he could believe that he and Nicholas were just having a night out without Andrew and that they weren’t getting back into the groove from his insanity. And he felt the tension in his body slowly loosen as the night wore on. He wanted so badly to believe that they could make this work.
They walked down the street to the arcade in companionable silence. Nicholas went to the change booth before joining Derrick with a roll of quarters.
“Ready to play?” he asked mischievously. “Winner gets choice.”
“As always,” Derrick replied. “You’re on, Nicholas Thayden. Prepare to be annihilated.”
“Game on,” Nicholas replied, breaking open the roll of quarters.
They divided the quarters and started playing. They didn’t talk much while they played beyond exclamations of triumph, curses, laughter, and various bits of trash talk woven together. The shared glances and exchanged smiles told Derrick how much Nicholas was also hoping this would help make things right between them.
When they finished the roll of quarters, they totaled up their tickets and found they were tied. They searched their pockets and Derrick triumphantly pulled out two quarters. They played one more game and Derrick won by one ticket.
“Man, that was close!” he laughed as they both handed over their tickets to a surprised kid at the prize counter.
“Yeah, and it was a lot of fun,” Nicholas added with a chuckle as they exited and headed back to their car. “So, what’s your choice?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”
Both Nicholas and Derrick’s cell phones beeped at the same time as they got in the car and they looked at them. Seeing the text from Andrew, they both smiled.
“‘Be out late, don’t wait up’?” Derrick replied. “Think we should worry he’s found a newer, younger model?”
Both of them laughed and Nicholas replied, “With the amount of Andy’s things that are younger than Ariel, I don’t think we have anything to worry about,” and began typing a response back.
“Very true.”
After sending the text, Nicholas asked, “How are you doing? Really.”
“Really?” Derrick replied thoughtfully as Nicholas started the drive home. “Okay, I guess.”
“You know both Andy and I love you, right? And that we trust you completely?”
“Logically, yes, I know that. But that doesn’t keep me from letting my mind play tricks on me, you know?”
Nicholas nodded. “And you know that if either Andy or I did have a problem with some part of our relationship with you, we would have said something by now, right?”
“Again, I know that logically.”
Without looking, Nicholas reached over and ruffled Derrick’s dark hair before letting his arm rest on Derrick’s shoulder. “And you know you’re being silly, right?”
“Yep,” Derrick replied with a nod, as he continued looking out the windshield. “And I wish I could stop myself.” He sighed. “But I never expected this when we started this all those years ago.”
“Neither did Andy or I,” Nicholas replied with a laugh. “We figured it’d be a month, more or less – during which you would have figured out whether or not you like guys and I would have gotten my unrequited love for you out of my system and that’d be that and we go on with our lives, me and Andy and Ariel together and you and whoever. But somewhere along the way, the three of us kept making plans together and our lives kept becoming more intertwined and, at least for me, everything just seemed so natural. I guess it would have been a good idea for us to actually talk about it, wouldn’t it?”
“Too late for that now, though, isn’t it?” Derrick replied ruefully. “But you’re right – we just let things happen as they happened and everything was just so damn easy that we didn’t think about it. I think we were all worried that if we looked too closely, then things would break, or become too complicated, or we’d see how weird it really is, and, like everyone else, we don’t want to face the hard things.”
Stopping at a red light, Nicholas nodded and, playfully flicking Derrick’s ear, said, “I agree.” Derrick rolled his eyes and grabbed Nicholas’ hand, bringing it down to hold between his hand and his thigh. When Derrick didn’t say anything else, Nicholas, turning his hand and interlacing their fingers, said, “It’s not Andy and I plus you, you know. It’s just you and me and Andy. It’s been that way for a long time – since a few months in, I think. At least in mine and Andy’s books. I never really thought about it until now, but it seems like every once in a while, you make that distinction.”
“It’s not intentional,” Derrick replied, blushing slightly at being called out. “I just – even after almost twenty years, I still can’t get my head around the fact that the three of us are completely integrated.”
“Cultural programming’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Nicholas asked wryly as they pulled into their parking lot.
“Like you have no idea. How do you deal with it?” Derrick asked.
Nicholas shrugged as he parked and turned the car off. Shifting to look at Derrick, he said, “I honestly don’t know. I just know that I love you and Andy more than I thought I could ever love anyone else and I can’t see myself without either of you right where you are. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I had to make myself adjust my thinking, but after a while, it became natural and no longer seemed weird to think and say, ‘my partners and I’ instead of ‘my partner and I’. And I did have to watch myself a little more closely. Even if people are more open about gay couples, threesomes – especially same-gender ones – are still considered really out there. But I also made a vow to myself that I wasn’t ever going to be dishonest about either of you. Which made me feel bad that you can’t be as open.”
“That’s what I get for working in the educational system,” Derrick replied dryly. “But, you’re right, things have gotten better overall for us. And most days I don’t think about it. What we have is what it is and I feel like the luckiest guy on the face of the planet to have two exceptional guys to call my own and an awesome niece.”
Nicholas leaned in and kissed Derrick softly. He reached up with his free hand and cupped the side of Derrick’s face, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb. Breaking the kiss short, he said, “I love you,” and rubbed his nose against Derrick’s.
“Love you too,” Derrick replied with a small smile. “I’ve made my decision. I just want to cuddle tonight.”
Nicholas rolled his eyes and leaned his forehead against Derrick’s and let out a sad sigh. “You don’t have to ask that. It’s your rightful place to voice your needs as much as it is mine and Andy’s.”
“But I’ve been acting like such an asshole lately.”
“Yes, you have,” Nicholas agreed. “But you should know by now how much we love you. Come on, let’s go in.”
“Seatbelt digging into your thigh?” Derrick teased.
“Just a little. But I want to show you just how much I’ve missed you.”
They went up to the apartment and, once inside, Nicholas kissed Derrick deeply, cupping Derrick’s face in his hands and pressing his body against Derrick.
Derrick sighed. “I have missed the tactile part of our relationship.”
“Of course you have, Mr. Hands,” Nicholas teased. “We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want. We could just cuddle on the couch and watch TV or something.”
Derrick nodded. “That sounds good. I think I just need some reassurance right now.”
Nicholas made a face. “I think I’m getting old because I want to get a shower first – I feel stinky. Want to join me?”
“From playing skee ball?” Derrick replied. “You are getting old. But I’m not going to say no when I get to look at a body like yours.”
Nicholas headed towards the bathroom. “Be glad we’re together, then. I don’t show this body off to just anyone,” he replied with a smirk and shook his ass at Derrick. Derrick laughed and followed him into the bathroom.
They quickly disrobed and threw their dirty clothes in the hamper. Unable to resist, Nicholas leaned in and kissed Derrick deeply again, and Derrick enjoyed the feel of skin against skin. Nicholas was a little broader than he was, but they were almost the same height – which was a nice contrast to Andrew, who was a few inches taller than both of them and built like a beanpole. Derrick responded just as hungrily, as Nicholas splayed one hand against his back, the other cupping his ass. Nicholas couldn’t help gently undulating his groin against Derrick’s, and they both moaned softly at the contact.
Derrick regretfully pulled back and said, “I’m not quite ready for that tonight. I know I’m still being silly, but not yet.”
“Okay,” Nicholas replied, getting in the shower. “Coming?”
“Oh, definitely,” Derrick said, joining him. “Just not – you know.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Nicholas laughed and turned on the water. “No problemo,” Nicholas reassured and began washing Derrick. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“Definitely on the same page,” Derrick told him with a smile, feeling his cock stir slightly as Nicholas washed lower, but knew there was no way anything was going to happen tonight.
When Nicholas was done, Derrick happily returned the favor, taking the same care he’d been shown and wanting to show Nicholas through his actions that he honestly did still love him, even if he didn’t completely understand what he was going through himself. And, if he was completely truthful with himself, something as simple as this was a thousand times better than the sexiest night he’d ever had with a stranger and even with his inner chaos, he wouldn’t trade a minute of it.
He chuckled softly and Nicholas commented, “I didn’t think my kneecap was that funny.”
“It’s not,” Derrick replied. “I just remembered how the three of us were when we were first getting to know each other and how uncoordinated we were. And now it’s so easy.”
“But perfect,” Nicholas said, lifting Derrick’s chin so he could kiss Derrick.
Derrick hummed lightly when they pulled apart. “Definitely perfect.”
Once they’d dried and dressed in their pajamas, they settled on the couch, Derrick in between Nicholas’ legs, his back against Nicholas’ chest, an arm casually wrapped around Nicholas’ knee, and Nicholas’ arms casually wrapped around Derrick’s chest. They watched TV for a while, every once in a while caressing a part of the other’s body or Nicholas bestowing a kiss on Derrick’s head and shoulder.
When they began to fall asleep, they headed into the master bedroom, shucking their clothes before getting into bed. Nicholas made sure Derrick was in the middle of the bed and spooned up behind him, an arm wrapped around Derrick’s waist, and Derrick’s fingers intertwined with his. Nicholas kissed the base of Derrick’s neck and pressed his nose against it before falling asleep.
The next morning, as they were getting ready for work, Andrew asked, “What are we doing for dinner?”
“I have that presentation this afternoon at four,” Nicholas said, “and I have a feeling it’s going to take forever, since it’s for the picky clients.”
“Which ones?” Derrick asked. “You have five or six of those.”
“The ones who change their minds five times before they end up convincing themselves that my original design is the one they want.” He sighed. “And we go through this every single time. You’d think they’d trust me by now, seeing as how I’ve been doing their graphics for years.”
“Good luck,” Andrew said, depositing a kiss on the top of Nicholas’ head before sitting down with a cup of coffee. “Want to go grab a bite to eat after work?” he asked Derrick. “It’ll give us some time to ourselves. Especially since I missed skee ball last night.”
“You hate skee ball,” Derrick replied, not looking up from the newspaper.
“I don’t hate it when the two of you are playing it,” Andrew corrected. “How about it?”
Derrick shrugged and looked up at Andrew. “Okay.”
Glancing at his watch, Andrew cursed and stood. “Think about where you want to eat and call me when you get a chance, okay?”
Derrick nodded and accepted a kiss from Andrew, before watching Andrew kiss Nicholas and head out the door, grabbing his messenger bag on the way and heard Derrick ask in amusement, “Doesn’t he do that every morning?”
“Yep,” Nicholas replied and Andrew could hear the smile in his voice. “Every morning for the past twenty-five years.”
Derrick called Andrew that afternoon as Andrew was about to leave work and they agreed to meet at a Mexican restaurant halfway between Andrew’s work and their apartment. As he disconnected, Derrick felt a little better.
Seeing Andrew pull into the parking lot, Derrick stood from where he had been sitting on one of the benches and his heart did a little flip, like it did every time he saw one of his lovers, even with everything he was going through.
Andrew parked near the door and, after getting out, smiled and said, “Hey, you.”
Derrick replied, “Hey yourself. How was traffic?”
“Not too bad.” They kissed each other on the cheek. “How was public transit?”
“Insane. But not enough to make me consider learning how to drive.”
Andrew chuckled as they went inside. “I’ve got to give you credit for that. I wouldn’t be able to put up with it as long as you have.”
“It’s my superpower.”
“I think your superpower is putting up with Nicholas and me.”
“Wouldn’t that still fall under extreme patience?”
“You got me there.”
They were seated and started looking through the menu. Once they ordered, Andrew asked, “How was your day?”
“Good. Though, in-service always sucks. The kids’ll be back soon, so that’s something to look forward to. How did your wine and dine go last night?”
“It went well. The library now has some new donors and I’m going to be busy for a while with genealogies.”
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” Derrick said, munching on a tortilla chip. “And you know you enjoy it.”
“I do,” Andrew replied with a nod. “It’s a part of why I started doing my job in the first place.” He dipped a chip in the salsa. “Love you,” he said randomly.
“Love you too.” And Andrew’s grin warmed Derrick from the inside out. Andrew had always been the more reserved of the three of them and Derrick knew it had taken a lot of work for Andrew to be comfortable with communicating his needs and admitting his feelings.
But this time he jumped right in and asked, “What can I do to prove myself to you?”
Derrick shrugged and focused on getting a piece of tomato out of the salsa cup with his chip. “You don’t need to do anything. I was being stupid and not acknowledging a part of myself and now that I have, I just need to work through it. Intellectually, I know that we’re all in this together as equals. But for some reason, I feel like I need to play catch-up, since I came to the ‘gay side’ later than the two of you.”
Andrew chuckled and put a hand on Derrick’s wrist. “Believe me, you’re not missing out on much. Nicholas and I both went through the whole figuring ourselves out thing at about the same time in high school and neither of us wanted to play the field when we got to college. And I wouldn’t trade what we have right now for anything. The past eighteen years have been amazing, Derrick, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“But things would have been easier for you and Thay without me.”
Andrew shrugged and gently stroked Derrick’s wrist with his thumb. “Possibly. It’s definitely gotten easier for people to see two men together and three is still really weird, but he and I would still have had problems regardless of whether or not you were with us. Granted, some of the problems would have been different, but it wouldn’t have always been smooth sailing – same as any other couple. You’ve had a harder time than either of us – at least where coworkers are concerned. But having you around that first year after my sister died was invaluable. Don’t get me wrong – Nicholas was great, and his knowledge of when I was serious and when I wasn’t about being left alone was invaluable those first three months, I think you came into our lives at exactly the right time because you didn’t know and you never let me brood for too long.”
Derrick turned his hand and squeezed Andrew’s hand, then released it so their food could be placed in front of him.
“And between the two of you, you helped me keep things in perspective and want to keep going for Ariel’s sake.”
“And for ours too,” Derrick gently corrected as they started eating. “You mean the world to Thay and I know he cared deeply for your sister too. And you quickly came to mean a lot to me as well. I just….” He sighed. “I wish I could shut down the part of me that’s saying I’m not good enough for the two of you. And that I need to check out the rest of the field.”
“You know that’s bullshit,” Andrew said matter-of-factly. “You have every right to be an equal part of this relationship – and neither of us intended for you to feel differently. Out of curiosity, what made you think that we only wanted you around to take care of Ariel and that we were exploiting your curiosity?”
“For starters, I never thought you were ‘exploiting my curiosity’. We were all getting something that we wanted out of it. And, if anything, I was exploiting Thay’s relationship with you to have access to someone who was a bit more impartial towards me.” Derrick thought for a minute. “And I don’t really know what made me think you two were taking advantage of me. Maybe it was the casual expectation that since I was sticking around, I would help take care of Ariel – which I get. And I’m sure I brought a lot of it on myself, considering I took to her like a duck to water right from the start.” He chuckled to himself. “And this coming from someone who’d never wanted kids to begin with. And I think I just subconsciously assumed some wrong things – like that the two of you would love any help you could get in reclaiming as much of your original lives as possible.”
“Even though our new lives had taken a new direction quicker than we were expecting and we were adjusting to it with all the bumps you would expect of two guys suddenly caring for a newborn baby,” Andrew replied with a knowing smile. “And she fit in pretty well to our ‘original lives’, considering how dull and boring they were.”
“Exactly.” He laughed and took a bite of his burrito. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. There’s a lot to be said for the simple, domestic life – take it from a convert. Like I said – wrong assumptions. And believe me, it wasn’t something I was even aware I was thinking or feeling until we were faced with the fact that Ariel was starting the next phase of her life. I should probably get my head examined for thinking such nutty things.”
Andrew chuckled and took a sip of his beer. “I’m sure that if you did, you’d be classified as perfectly normal. We all think things like that from time to time. Want to know how many times over the years I thought the two of you would kick me to the curb? You’re both very good looking – you with your dark European good-looks and Nicholas with his blond all-American ones; and here I am – looking like an Irish beanpole with glasses.” He paused to take a bite of rice. “And I know there were at least a few times at the beginning of our relationship where Nicholas was feeling uncertain too. I know he didn’t say anything to me, and I doubt he did with you either, but I saw the looks he’d get – like he thought I would decide I liked the ‘newer model’ better and run away with you.”
Derrick smiled wryly. “So we’re basically all screwed up, is what you’re saying.”
Andrew pushed his glasses up his nose. “Yep. And we all have doubts and if none of us did over the course of eighteen years, I think I’d be more worried. And I know a lot of our married friends have doubts and worries too. So I think it’s safe to say that you’re a completely normal guy, Derrick Previtti. Now eat your dinner and think about what I’ve said.”
They both laughed at Andrew’s gentle admonishment, remembering the times he’d used it on Ariel when she got in trouble. Derrick let out a slow breath and concentrated on his meal. He honestly did feel better now that he and Andrew had talked and it felt like things were clicking back into place, finally allowing himself to believe that he really was just being stupidly crazy.
When they got into Andrew’s car afterwards, Andrew leaned over and kissed Derrick softly on the lips. “I love you, Derrick, and I know Nicholas does too. And, I’m sorry to say this, but you’re stuck with the two of us for the rest of our lives.”
And, on cue, their phones beeped. They both laughed and checked them, finding a text from Nicholas – “Love you xoxo” was all it said.
“We’re such a bunch of saps, aren’t we?” Derrick asked as they both texted him back.
“Oh, yeah,” Andrew replied with a smile and a nod as he concentrated on his phone. “But I love it.”
“Me too. Me too.”
Texts sent, they headed home. “So, I think there’s a baseball game on tonight,” Andrew said.
“You hate baseball,” Derrick replied.
“Not when you’re watching.”
Derrick rolled his eyes in amusement. “You just like the floor show.”
“Not going to deny that.” Andrew glanced at Derrick and smiled. “And I like the post-game show too.”
“That’s just because you know you’re going to get laid.”
“I’d get laid regardless. It’s just more fun when the two of you are riled up,” Andrew teased.
“Okay, not going to argue there. And I’m going to remind you of this when the hockey season starts.”
“Only fair.”
Nicholas was home when they got in. “Hey,” he said with a smile and stood to greet them. “You’re back earlier than I expected.”
“We can leave and come back, if you want,” Andrew replied, accepting a kiss.
“No, no. I’m good. I’m glad you’re back, actually. I was getting kind of lonely without you.”
And now that Andrew had mentioned it, Derrick was able to see the faint look of desperation in Nicholas’ eyes and hear the slight note of pleading in his voice. “Good,” he said, accepting his kiss. “Because I was hoping we could watch the game together. And from what it sounds like, there’s a good chance of getting laid afterwards.” His eyes darted to Andrew, Nicholas’ eyes following, and they both grinned.
Andrew raised his hand in a ‘hold on’ gesture. “I merely intimated that it was a good possibility, seeing as how I enjoy watching you two watch baseball.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Nicholas replied with an amused look. “Like you don’t secretly like the game too. I take it dinner went well?”
Both Andrew and Derrick nodded and Derrick said, “Dinner went very well. And I want to thank both of you for putting up with me while I was being an idiot.”
“Yes, you were,” Nicholas agreed. “But we all have our moments.” He slung an arm around Derrick’s shoulders as the three of them moved towards the couch. “And I’m glad you’re back with us now.” He kissed Derrick’s temple and pulled him down onto the couch. After some fiddling, they were comfortably curled up together to watch the game and, true to form, Derrick and Nicholas were quite vocal about it and Andrew was quietly amused.
Once the game finished, Andrew clicked off the TV and kissed Derrick’s shoulder. “I think it’s time we showed you exactly how much we’ve missed having you with us in every sense of the word.”
“Yeah,” Nicholas added, turning to look at Derrick, “and why you’re not allowed to sleep on the couch ever again – unless you’re sick. Andrew’s had to convince me a number of times that I am actually nowhere near being in danger of permanent blue balls.”
Derrick looked at Nicholas for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Really? I thought we went over that in high school sex-ed.”
“We might have, but it’s easily forgotten when you’re in the middle of a dry spell after having a very regular run.”
“And approaching middle age,” Andrew added in amusement. “Come on, before my thigh joins my foot and calf in being asleep.”
The three of them carefully disentangled themselves from each other and the couch. And, upon standing, Andrew was the first to pull Derrick close. “As the ‘impartial party’, I’d like to make the first move.” Nicholas gave him a quizzical look, but Derrick snorted as Andrew bent down and kissed him. Passionately.
Derrick could feel his toes tingling and he knew it wasn’t because his foot was waking up. He groaned into Andrew’s mouth and splayed his hands across Andrew’s back, pulling him even closer. Andrew tangled a hand in Derrick’s hair and the pressed other against the small of Derrick’s back.
Nicholas tapped their shoulders and asked, “May I cut in?”
They both took an arm and pulled him in to join them. Nicholas kissed Derrick first, maddeningly light at first, letting Derrick dictate the pace. When Derrick deepened the kiss, Nicholas smiled against his mouth and kissed him back just as hungrily. Then he moved to kiss Andrew while Derrick moved behind Nicholas and ran his hands underneath Nicholas’ t-shirt, loving the feel of his skin. He circled his arms around Nicholas’ front and gently teased his nipples. Nicholas moaned into Andrew’s mouth and gently bucked against Andrew before pressing back against Derrick.
Derrick had missed this. Not just the physical closeness, as much as he enjoyed it, but the feeling of easy intimacy between the three of them. And the fact that he had been quickly proven wrong and assured of his place in the relationship made him feel exceedingly grateful that he had managed to find two such incredible people.
He carefully traced his fingertips down Nicholas’ stomach and around his belly-button and teased the line of skin above his waistband. Nicholas groaned and leaned his head back against Derrick’s shoulder. Derrick took the opportunity to lay a line of kisses down Nicholas’ throat from his jaw down to his shoulder before pressing against Nicholas and accepting another kiss from Andrew, who was pressed against Nicholas’ front and gently rocking his growing erection against Nicholas’.
“Oh, God, you two,” Nicholas shakily breathed. “We need to get into bed, now.”
“Or we could do it out here,” Derrick murmured in his ear. “We’re going to be alone all evening.” Nicholas groaned again as Derrick pushed a hand below the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear and began gently stroking his cock.
“God, you’re both so beautiful like this,” Andrew said. “But let’s go to bed.”
The next morning, Derrick stretched and groaned. He felt relaxed and comfortable. As well as well-loved and well-fucked. He smiled at that.
“Stop thinking,” Andrew mumbled into his shoulder.
“I’m not thinking,” Derrick whispered before pressing his lips against Andrew’s forehead.
“You’re about to,” Nicholas replied from his other side. “Go back to sleep. We don’t have to get up for at least another hour.”
“It’s not Saturday,” Derrick reminded them. “And the alarm’s going to go off any second.”
The alarm started beeping and Nicholas groaned as he reached over to turn it off. “I hate it when you do that. I could have used those couple of minutes of sleep, but your thinking woke me up.”
“I wasn’t thinking!” Derrick protested. “Or brooding. Or anything like that.”
“Think of it as a preemptive shushing, then,” Andrew replied, leaning up to kiss Derrick. “Morning.”
“Good morning to you too.” Derrick kissed Nicholas and said, “Forgive me, Thay?”
Nicholas smiled. “After last night? Yes.” He leaned across Derrick and kissed Andrew. “Okay, time to get up.” He threw the covers off of them, to Derrick and Andrew’s protests, and got out of bed. “I’ll make breakfast if the two of you are up in the next two seconds.”
Derrick and Andrew quickly scrambled out of bed. “Get moving, Emeril,” Andrew said, heading to the bathroom. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Not my fault,” Nicholas replied, pulling on Derrick’s sweatpants before moving towards the kitchen.
Derrick laughed at the two of them and started making the bed. When he was done, he joined Andrew in the bathroom. When they finished, Andrew took over cooking and Nicholas disappeared into the bathroom. Andrew ate most of his breakfast while it was cooking, but was able to join Derrick and Nicholas at the table for a few minutes before glancing at his watch, cursing, kissing them both, and then running out the door.
“It’s probably good we make lunches for the week Sunday night,” Derrick said dryly.
Nicholas shook his head in amusement as he began cleaning up the dishes. “I’m glad we were able to convince you that we’re serious about you.”
“Me too,” Derrick replied, putting his dishes on the counter next to the sink and wrapping his arms around Nicholas. “I’d rather not think about what would’ve happened if you two had kicked me out for being idiot. I’m sure it would’ve been a pitiful sight – I doubt anyone would take a wreck like me in.”
“Oh, please,” Nicholas said, swatting his arm. “You could bat your eyelashes and have a crowd of people falling over themselves to help you out. I highly doubt you’d have to resort to turning tricks to supplement your income or have to find a sugar daddy to take care of you.”
“You never know! It’s a hard world out there!”
Nicholas placed a quick peck on Derrick’s lips. “Then be glad that you’re our wreck and that there’s no way we’d turn you in for a newer model or downsize.”
“Is that supposed to reassure me?”
“Technically.” His brow creased in worry. “Is it not working?”
Derrick thought about it for a moment. “It is in a weird Pretty Woman sort of way.”
“Good. Because you need to get moving and I want to make sure you’ll be coming home for dinner.”
Derrick smacked the back of Nicholas’ head. “Of course I’ll be home for dinner, doofus. It’s my turn to cook and I take it very seriously.”
“Don’t we know it.” He stole another kiss before pulling away. “See you later.”
“Love you,” Derrick said.
“Love you too,” Nicholas replied.
Derrick hummed softly on his way down to the transit stop. Life was good again. And he needed to think of a few ways to show his guys how much he loved them. It would definitely have to be more than just a regular weeknight dinner, though. He knew that they had both been wanting some little things – dvds, cds, books and the like, but had been hesitating on buying them because of wanting to watch their budget. Maybe he could spoil them a bit that way. Or maybe a long weekend away. They’d been talking about going to Seattle for a while. He mulled over it on his way into work.
Sallie, one of the teachers he was actually close to, joined him on his way into the building. “You’re in a good mood this morning,” she commented. “Get laid last night?”
“Yes, I did,” he replied with a smile.
“Who was it this time?” she asked in amusement. “Some twenty-something blonde bimbo?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells,” he replied lightly. “But the blond is neither twenty-something nor a bimbo. And neither is the redhead.”
He smiled to himself as she stopped in the middle of the hallway and gaped at him as he continued into his classroom. It would be fun to let her mull over that for a while. And he was definitely going take Nicholas and Andrew to Seattle.
